A safer Ontario means more police and prosecutors making sure my car doesn't get stolen. It means building new jails that keep criminals behind bars. And it means there's no need to wear me when I play at the park. We're making every corner of Ontario safer to make all of Ontario safer.
That's how we protect Ontario. For all of us. Learn how at Ontario.ca.ca. Pay for by the Government of Ontario.
Hey everybody, Jason Ellis. Remember the Jason Ellis Show? Yeah, I do. It's on Patreon and it's like five shows a week and we have guests and YouTube can't stop us from saying stuff.
And we say it and you can text and you can be a part of the show. You can we can set a choice. Come with us. Sign up right now.
Remember when the Jason Ellis Show used to be live five days a week? I remember that. It still is. This show that you were enjoying this free pot thank you for being here.
But this is just a little a moose boosh. It's just a little more so it barely counts as an appetizer of what is waiting for you. Every stinking week at patreon.com slash Ellis made. I have no boss.
We can do whatever we want. OK, ready boys? I'm going to sing. So don't worry about it.
Sing away your show. Three, two. We still did it. I need a fan.
I need a Japanese fan. I was going to say Asian, but that would be racist because they don't all have fans. Japanese invented it, Michael. Did they?
I don't know. It's a pretty fanny continent. It is. But you know the one that the one that goes freing in a flicks out and you go like that.
Yeah. Those are the geisha girls that have them. Do I believe Japanese correct? Right.
So I don't have talking about. There you go. Welcome to the show. Brad Williams who is obviously not a racist.
Yeah. If you want to hear that voice in the mist is the voice in the mist sounds like the perfect way to describe a dwarf because that that just sounds right. Who's the dwarf? Oh, he's the voice in the mist.
Oh, man. He's sometimes here sometimes not. It's OK. I'm thrilled to be here.
I'm glad that you have the rock and roll intro. That was awesome. I want whatever voice modulation is on that microphone because you said it incredible. No, that's just how good of a singer I am, Brad.
I'm right. You are. And then I now feel less bad about breaking your lamp right before because it's obviously a rock and roll type of show. So I do apologize for breaking your lamp.
You kind of see you right now, but you can see the broken lamp in the background. Yep. It kind of looks matches the vibe. You know what?
I think of a dwarf breaks your lamp. You get three wishes. So I think this show just got a lot better and your budget is about to increase. Hell yeah.
So you're good. Made of people in the background laugh at that one. Yeah. Like and subscribe.
That'll take that. Go to my Patreon. There you go. That's my second wish.
Can I just like one of those rage rooms? Like what? Like why not? I got to get some stuff out.
Can it not? OK. No, you paid for stuff here. It's a great looking room.
But I feel like with the kind of stuff that I've found in my nightly dive into PornHub, I feel like if I started only fans where it was just me breaking stuff, people would subscribe. Somebody's got to have a fetish for dwarf smashing things. Would they subscribe? Yes.
The question is what they masturbate to it. Does the check clear? I don't care. It's very important that they masturbate.
I mean, as long as they enjoy it, that's fine. You can't stop people from masturbating. I've found that out. There's PornHub categories of women sitting on cakes.
Who thought that that would be a thing that some guy would be like, yeah, that's my stuff. Women on cakes. Yeah. I don't know why I went into your accent for a second there.
I sat on a cake once. You sat on a cake once? I masturbated. Once?
That's one of the earlier episodes. What did they say? What did they say? Was the sitting on cakes for your only fans, for your Patreon, for the fans?
I think it was a promo for this show. OK. And I had a wife, she had a nice butt. And she sat on it.
And I was like, why don't I make a joke by putting my butt on it? Yeah. Why not? I don't know if it was that funny.
Hey, well, good though. Whatever works. When my wife was pregnant, we were trying to sell her breast milk to bodybuilders. Because they think that it's more protein or something.
I don't know if it's been proven. But you're just taking her like, nope, I looked into it. I am familiar with that phenomenon. And I think any time bodybuilders are the tip of the spear for a scientific breakthrough, it is guaranteed to be invalidated within 18 months.
Yeah. But we tried it. But we would just get guys reaching out. And we didn't like that they wanted us to go to their house.
We were trying to like a more neutral handoff point of the breast milk. Like, all right, something public, a bunch of people. No, they're like, no, come up the driveway, lock the door behind you, and kiss your ass goodbye. And we're like, no, that's not going to work out.
What a creepy, like I want your breast milk. Yes. That's already pretty gnarly. And then to be like, oh, no, you have to deliver it personally.
Like, why do I have to? This is the good breast milk stuff. They want you to squirt it out of the titty in front of them to know that it's titty milk. I mean, they didn't say that.
But I imagine at some point, they would have thrown down a cup and say, fill it. Yeah, I would think it's probably more like when you see the drug dealers on Miami Vice where they want to take out the razor and cut the brick. Like, they probably want to get a little bit from the match. Yeah, I'm going to try some guy that's like, oh, yeah, that's good.
Rubbed on the gums. Yeah, exactly. I don't like I just suck it out one time. I had a made a lady pregnant and she looked at the super cross and she got her pump and she was like, it's really hurting.
And I was friends with the guys at Kawasaki. So I used their trailer and I sucked it out and was spitting it into the sink. And obviously, I was drinking some of it because I was like, why not give it a taste. Why not?
Because maybe because for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was very metal. And as a metal guy, you think it'd be into a bit? No, no, I didn't.
I like sugary milk. I've decided after sucking on that. It was super metal. Like it was like, I don't want to be gross because you too.
But it's probably similar to this other thing that girls do down there. That tastes metal as well. So they got a lot of metal coming out of them. Chicks are metal, which really because chicks, you know, the first chick ever was a chick in Lucy.
That's her name. And she made all the babies in the world. So she made metal. Is this religion that I'm unfamiliar with?
Lucy is was a astro-pivicus? Sure. Like the earliest notes. The word's out of my mouth.
Human ancestor. Is this like a mummy that we've found? No, it's like a missing link monkey person. Oh, OK.
The first woman ever, not Eve. Sorry. Was Lucy. OK.
Because it's actual. How do they know that? Did they get Lucy's bones? Yeah, they got the bones.
You want to put a policy there on the screen, Miles? Wow. I thought, who would have thought that when you come on to a show or you're watching a show on YouTube and there's a guy with head tattoos next to a dwarf, next to a virgin, that there would be. It's not two kids.
It's that there would be learning involved. That you'd be learning about the evolution of where we come from. You were being two kids. Two kids.
Well done. Good job. And next partner is Lucy. Lucy makes tobacco-free nicotine for people to focus better, think better, chill out smoother and inspire creativity.
Use it to increase alertness, attention and mood focus better, think deeper, inspire creativity or just relax. The only problem with Lucy is that Jason just ran out of it. Right, actually. Look, I use stuff and I'm also completely sober guy now.
So I really like my little pouchy things. And since I got a package from Lucy, I don't want to go back to any other. They are better. I really need what that anyone has.
Lucy, send me someplace. Lucy is unique because it is 100% pure tobacco-free. Nicotine, you'll never find tobacco in any of their products. Ever!
No, no lies. We're not lying. I'm not lying. I want more.
Do they have t-shirts? I don't know about t-shirts, but Lucy pouches are available in five strengths. Two milligrams. Teatsy-weensy all the way up to 12 milligrams.
Four teg. Wait, I didn't get 12. Let's dance. And in 12 different flavors.
Yeah, I had them all and they're all good. Coffee is my favorite one though. I think it's tricking me because I'm getting alert from the nicotine and I just smell the taste of coffee is making me think that I'm getting coffee in me as well. And I drink a lot of coffee so it kind of goes well in your lip with coffee.
You know what goes great with coffee? Lucy's? Whether you use nicotine to focus better, get a boost in energy or chill and relax, Lucy is made for your nicotine routine. If you want to try Lucy's tobacco-free breakers, pouches or gum, go to Lucy.co slash Ellis and use promo code Ellis to get 20% off.
20% off. That's like almost 20% off. Yes, and even better. Even better is Lucy off.
It's free shipping and has 30-day refund policy. If you change your mind, that's l-u-c-y.co. Not com, co and use the code Ellis and get 20% off and always free shipping. And here comes the fine print Lucy products are only for adults of legal age and every order is age verified.
Warning this product contains nicotine, nicotine is an addictive chemical. We got one that's kidding. I got one. Yeah.
Trust me, we're stopping people like, wow, when you're having the second kid and I'm like, ah, we're good. That's exactly what we're going to do too. And then we found out the brutal reality and we're like, why are we doing this? And then he turned like five.
We're like, that wasn't so bad. See, it wasn't so bad. You forgot how bad it was. I'm back in the shit again.
I feel like your brain with trauma, and this must be some sort of biological thing that our brain does to make sure that the human race survives, is that it erases like all the memories about how bad the young child experience is, the baby infant experiences. For the women to go through all that pain, yeah, because I remember after my wife, like, right in the moment was like, this is the worst thing. Don't ever let us do this again. And then a year and a half, two years later, she's like, I mean, I could do it again.
I was like, no, you told me that you would say that. So I'm denying it right now. It's similar to compound fractures. I've had a compound fracture and it was such a shock.
It was only 16 the first time it happened and it was shocking. It was shocking. I mean, I was in shock and then I was like, I never want to experience that ever again. And I'm going to do my utmost to never do anything that could get me involved in a compound fracture.
And then maybe like two years later, I was like, let the chips fall. Here's Lucy, by the way. All right. So that is what we all believe to be the first human.
Yeah. Amazing. Right. Well done.
See, we learned stuff on here. Now, see, you're going into it. That's a bad hit. Let's go.
You talk about the X Games type stuff before I started doing comedy. That's where I thought I had to go because of guys like We Man, Jason Nakuna and Pancho was first. Pancho Moller was first. That was my name in junior high because all the kids called me Pancho because these videos were out there.
They were at the start out. Yeah, but they did hope my other show with Tony Hawk, Hulk versus Wolf. Yeah. Pancho has said several stories where when Jackass came out and We Man became gigantic, when he was skating, people would yell out We Man for many, many years.
Oh, one thing that almost every male little person will tell you is that we've been called We Man at some point. We've been called all we've been called all of them. We've been called Pancho. Pancho told the story where he was at a restaurant for lunch with We Man and went up to get the food and they were like, Yeah, We Man.
He's like, he's right there. I get it for just one of us, but he's the actual guy is right there. Look at me. Look at him.
So kind of similarly to that story, one time I went to this restaurant that's out here in Samon, a very famous little diner called the Apple Pan and I went in there and I was going to meet my wife for lunch. And when I went in there, we men happened to be in there. Now, you know, our friends, so that was no big deal. But also the odds are kind of like, huh, like two of the top five towards the show business right here in the same little diner.
That's amazing. So then I come up with the idea of, Hey, let's have a little fun. When my wife comes in here, you go up and be like, Hey, Jasmine, oh, so good to see. And like you act like me.
And he did. And my wife was very confused. Oh, great. Because he's hell because she had never met him.
He didn't speak. Okay. No, no, no, no, like he's got tattoos about 15 years older. He's got more here though.
But yes, my wife was surprised. And people were very confused, but I was reading some stuff about you this morning and sitting on the bed. Not bad. I said that you were discovered by Joel and Benji Madden or they have some kind of way.
Okay. Okay. Here's how how do they come into your life? So my brand new special.
I'm good. Yeah. So my brand new special, which is called Starfish, which is on Veebs. And that's their company.
Their company is Veebs. And that comes out, I believe this will be out by the time this podcast comes out. It will have come out on December 21st. Why do we choose to go to the 21st because that's the winner solstice, the shortest day of the year.
So that is where my new company special is coming out. It's called Starfish. Go to Veebs. Support the Madden's.
Support me. Help feed an Asian dwarf baby. That's my child. And you know, because that's you can probably put that on your taxes as a write off like you help the feed an Asian dwarf baby.
My wife. Yeah. Two full size. Yeah.
Two full size. Oh, that's a whole lot of Asian. Oh, half Asian babies. Yeah.
So we go. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah.
Half in more ways than one. They're double half quarter. I don't know. I'm bad with fractions.
Mass sucks. I'm bad with one. I'm bad, I'm bad with that. One, two, three.
60's. The other one? I'm bad with that. I don't wannaboys.
Awesome. try not to let them be impressed right what's our fish i call starfish because that is what i do uh... on because whenever my wife and i have a fight and she says you're sleeping out tonight i go full starfish on the couch because it's not a punishment you put it or from the college i'm going to get that's it's looking so i'm just hopping on starfish you know for that getting sent to the couch because you know i've been married for a long time ago dude you say no you go i like you could be as angry as you want to touch me but there's plenty of room for us in this fucking bed if you really can't stand the side of the couch is right over there i don't mind it because the dog sleeps on the couch and uh... that's that we have we have a eighty pound pit bull and that's just great i just love snuck up to that guy so it's fine so to go to the couch and wait it yeah i said myself to the couch yeah was that uh...
she's annoying but i've done that i've exiled myself okay yeah i've never done it to where like she's like go get on a couch i've never done that but it's like yeah every now then i feel like it might be uncomfortable or there was just a fight or whatever and i'm like you know what or come home with the comedy store sure and it's eleven o'clock i want to wake her up in night whatever i'm going to catch all all good but when but when i'm not in the couch people this is why i'm in the most fearless man comedy because my wife is a fourth don black belt in she is uh... she is a little bit and the pit bull is eighty five pounds i sleep in between both so at any point yet right either of these things could decide that needs to go to the dogs are in the middle no dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot is that normal for the dog to be in the middle because you know my my dog i only want to my dog sleeps with me and i used to have another person in the bed he's in the middle before you slept exclusively with dogs well uh... how how fresh is this i don't want to do it okay that's okay because i don't know if it's like a ten year old thing or like a last week that it's not anyway okay but my three-legged dog won't sleep on the outside and i always put it down to your child with three legs if you go off the side of the bed as a step that's a pretty hefty slam that is a big drop i respect it you know i can have tried to put him over the other side back when i was married to get close and i can i feel his fear of being on the other side of the situation while it shakes nah he's not he's not he's from the streets i've got a lot of showers and those are they are they are jumping people but the one that i've rescued that has three legs they found him with his legs snapped on so he was out on the streets with somebody broke his leg and he had set crooked so just name some of them as his name's uh... chicken chicken because it looks like a chicken wing on the side of him but he's not he's the toughest but i have five dogs and nobody nobody messes with him he just has a like if there's a food thing everyone trying to eat he's got like one tooth left he's a he's a completely destroyed but if he snaps everybody backs off and i'm like it's because of the streets man only the other guys grew up with me in the lavish life you know i go yeah whatever i want to get yeah and she keeps like i spent you had time you know you can talk about you know you can talk about you are like the one the the mascot for the the tacos stand that's just a folding table on the corner yeah yeah and you know but i would look at it like with the dogs is the same way it's like whenever you're in a fight and the little guy in the fight is like in the kung fu movies is like not doing anything you're like all the guys gonna fuck us all up he's gonna do something that guy's gonna do something crazy so when so i'm wondering if that's how your dog see the dog with like the one bad leg or the no it's just dangling off oh yeah i would look at that dog like that dog seen some shit yeah i i don't think they would see it but they clearly do winter is here and for me that means struggling for to find the right temperature when i sleep he sweats like a pig in bed take it from a guy who slept with him that's who was it was worth it i recently found a way to stay at the perfect temperature all night long using silver infused bed sheets now really think about what i'm saying these aren't just words here folks silver there are silver in these nasa inspired miracle-made sheets using silver infused fabric inspired by nasa it's a good thing it's just shake-smack because if it was a bullet and you shot me with it i would die because i'm a werewolf that's true these will do quite the opposite they'll give you very much a lot but yeah they handle the temperature better because when you're detoxing for uh 22 days yeah i don't want to get into any further than that but i wake up in pools of it but not when i use the miracle ones because i got other ones because i wash them so much yeah it didn't work as good if you were using dodgy sheets from anywhere else you would be slathered in bacteria but these sheets are infused with silver that prevents up to 99.7% of bacterial growth leaving them to stay cleaner and fresher three times longer than other sheets no more gross odors Jason miracle sheets are luxurious i love luxury it's so luxurious that's uncomfortable and without the high price stack so that you can pretend you're rich which is pretty much what i've been doing for the last two years miracle sheets are the perfect gift for your spouse friends or family who doesn't want to bet who want better sleep and luxurious feelings in their bed sheets and these come with three free towels so you get two gifts in one just in time for the holidays stop sleeping in bacterial bacteria think about it man i just want to say that yes sorry go to trimerical.com slash ellis and try it today or give it to someone special this holiday season and we got a special deal for our listeners we do over 40 percent 40 percent that's like almost half that's exactly right and if you use our promo ellis at checkout you will get three free towels and save an extra 20 percent i can't even add all that michael sounds like a fat discount though and why wouldn't you do that fear your friends do you not love anybody do you love yourself if you don't love yourself then send it to somebody you care about maybe you hate them and you want to change their mind change your own mind just buy them help out the show and get silver in your sheets of pretension rich miracle is so confident in their product it's backed by a 30 day money back guarantee if you aren't 100% satisfied you get a free refund upgrade your sleep on miracle made go to try miracle.com slash ellis and use code ellis to claim your three piece towels set free and save over 40% off again that's try miracle.com slash ellis treat yourself a friend i loved one this holiday season yay they are intimidated by him and now you have chihuahuas yeah i got a pit i would argue that chihuahuas i don't know about yours but i would argue that chihuahuas are meaner than pit bulls.
many people would agree i think yes because i've been bitten by multiple chihuahuas my pit has never once been never once because you wouldn't be here true because if you ever decides to it's just and that's curtains i mean it's also maybe there's a little bit of they know deep down that when they do snap on you they're never really doing any damage yeah and a pit bull knows if they go this is going to be this could be detrimental to my future that guy has that guy feeds me and walks me i can't kill it it just seems like a bigger deal it's like i don't punch little people like i don't punch i don't punch people that don't know how to fight you know because that's mean if you're big i'll punch you yeah because it's fair yeah what what uh what a discipline are you a master in or i don't have any belts or anything okay but but i am mma okay so everything yeah but i'm probably a better box than everything else good hell yeah man that's awesome uh yeah my my wife is fourth dawn in ticuando ticuando and then i got a black belt in hecita was well because because ticuando is a scoring martial arts yeah and she's like well it doesn't have a lot of practical application because a lot of kicks so i had to get a black belt and something else i could actually defend myself and i was like that turns me on incredibly and also was terrifying yeah she actually had like organized fights against people uh in the ticuando school yeah yeah because my wife was training boxing for while i desperately she's like maybe i should have a fight and i'm like do it that would be the hottest thing i never do i never witnessed her tournament style fights yeah i got to witness her fight in the wild even better oh wow that was so great oh you do tell we were we were in las vegas which is where a lot of fights happened in the world uh we were at the imp regime grand where a bar there that's called whiskey down it's it's still there it's a great bar and uh there was a guy that came up uh to her and uh started starting flooring with her and uh she was uh very gracious and said yeah oh that's very nice but you know at the time uh this is my boyfriend and pointing over towards me and uh my wife is not a dwarf she's tall and the guy thought there's no way this guy's with you like and started starting starting saying as much yeah and then uh i kind of told him like hey dude just stop let's just move on there's plenty women in this bar you know go harass them and uh then he uh then he said something very mean to me and then said something very mean to her and that's the last thing that he saw before he was not unconscious nice nice what sort of death loaded you over the foot straight kick to the face nice what was she i want to be pretty what was she wearing uh a lovely black dress and i and and and my wife has great legs yeah and uh yeah just just just just knocked him out it was so good with all due respect to your idea that's the only fans i want to see coming out of your house oh i would love i would if some lady was just any all right any of you women out there wondering like how do you how are you gonna break through how are you gonna break through in the in the only fans world if you have a thing of of you just knock dudes out oh yeah done i'm subscribed the little black dress assassin you don't have to you you don't have to get naked you can take low the entire time just knock dudes out i'm in take my money yeah perhaps Brock Lesnar's daughter could consider starting in only fans i didn't say that that that's you you want to watch a woman who can knock dudes out i just don't want to say anything weird about process and daughter i think she's a wonderful talented talented person me too and congratulations to her for setting the shot record that's what struck me about her mother's state congratulations she's ripping the shot but she keeps her clothes on too yes wonderful and uh yeah i'm sorry but okay start doing Jason you can tell the dominant genes in that family well man that was yeah let's move on though she has a mom right let's move on uh speaking of babies it's a bear she's a shanty shanty and nelly you're having a baby who a shanty and nelly are procreating oh wow a shanty stayed with nelly no they broke up for like 13 years i think i'm back yeah that's adorable it's a hip hop collaboration of love that's adorable oh my god it's a it's the perfect late 90s early aughts baby yeah i love that that's fantastic now we just got to get creed to like procreate with afro levene and that and that's like the white version of that we had a shot when we go back was with afro so close yeah wait did they go straight they were married to the afghans they were like uh they were like the brangelina of Canada oh are you Canadian i am not oh why would he shoot down Canada with that i don't know maybe you were complimenting it i'm not i'm not a compliment not to me but can anybody we got a lot of Canadian fans that i can tell you right now every single person was like no dude that's not that's not that's not we don't we don't praise that company yeah there's certain there's certain people that you'll always claim in Canada because they're yours and you know you'll claim Jim Carrey yeah and you'll remind us that Pamela Anderson yeah it's Canadian they'll talk about uh beaver and Chad from nickelback you're like nope yeah not ours nor mcdonald nor mcdonald you'll claim you'll talk Brett Hart all day he might be the greatest Canadian ever Brett Hart and no mcdonald's okay because i take Brett you're a wrestling fan yeah yeah yeah never what's your favorite era or just all of that era uh or the new one so hard to say like attitude era is pretty what's attitude that is like late 90s early 2000s like 97 to like 2003 that's the rock Steve Austin Goldberg yeah he was over at WCW doing it but now i'm really like in uh aEW i really like uh all the wrestling uh Chris Jericho yeah came to came to my one of my shows he's a fan now he's a friend and it's i do his cruise every year which it's sort of like look down to fuzzy yeah fuzzy they kick ass they're great musicians they're a lot they do a great show he's been on the show a few times yeah uh Chris Jericho is a cruise called the rock and wrestling rager at sea where it's pro wrestling heavy metal and comedy and come on that's a damn cruise yeah i'm just glad that somebody is making something stick a little bit sticking it to Vince McMahon yeah i mean it's not the first time he's had some heavy competition but if anybody deserves to be taken down or not she's got to be Vince McMahon yeah and it just makes it better competition makes people do better like i want more dwarf comedians out there like right now there's like tangy Davis Nick Naveki who opens for Napier-Gatsy and uh and me and Pancho just started like uh in the last few in the last few years and i'm really excited for him but now it's very it's very interesting because i used to like lift a Pancho like oh man i want to be like him and now he's talking to me like oh i need like help me out with this with this comedy thing which is kind of a weird thing to like look at when your heroes be like oh wow i can help you that's nice that's great but it's great and they're doing a great podcast they do a podcast yeah that's what they came up with hope i was left to talk about yeah i did an episode i'm pretty sure that's the first podcast there that had three dwarves on one episode and uh so yeah that had to make some where was a Guinness people for that one uh but yeah that was that was a great time and then there was like the producer in the room who's not a dwarf and uh he felt kind of uncomfortable because he was like i'm now in the odd man out like like like like there's three dwarves at me yeah i feel good about their show they did really good on the home festival show very great guys man hey dwarves are having a moment there's dwarf comedians dwarf actors none in snow white and seven dwarves but that's a whole nother thing i can rant about can i can ask you about that i am well just the question open up the door let's go let's take down Disney right here on this podcast so i think i kind of know which way your answer is leaning there are people who will tell you uh they interest always shouldn't be James Bond they should make a new character that is black bond just is a white guy and i can see both sides of that argument there are people who will say if you're making snow white and the second warps like it or not they are dwarves and then there's people notably Peter tinglichu which speak out strongly against that when i ask you yes i don't know much about it sure other than wolves that aren't the wolves pretending to be the wolves famous i should have said that a better way are they are they like legendary actors or are they just actors so there's a whole thing with this i will go i will go through the process uh lot live action snow white and seven dwarves is announced it's now it's coming out dinklich here's about it says like we're gonna do this old dwarf thing again and then Disney goes oh no king dwarf is angry so they uh they they scrap the idea that they're dwarves and they said no we're not doing snow white and seven dwarves were doing snow white and the seven magical beings and they showed a photo of the magical beings there was one dwarf of the magical beings and the other six looked like people playing hacky sack in portland all right they were they were like on the college campus and they're like yeah if we love man like that's what they look like you know little no they're not little at all but wait a minute that's like making snow white a man yeah it's like i don't get it's what i'm looking at and to make the comparison when you say like oh people don't want uh it result but to be black games bong just do a new character oh the thing is there's plenty of gigs for white guys so they're fine like they like they can give one up you can't take the two parts away from dwarves because they took away that like this podcast is literally employing more dwarves than snow white and the seven dwarves yeah i need it's not the show for a very important announcement bring it brother i had a new phone case from no mad goods i love it uh that's my announcement well that's stuff that we both have in common because check out my phone case i don't even have a new one they said you need a new one i was like i don't need a new one this one gets better and better with age just like my face we are excited that no mad goods is now a sponsor of the Jason Elishele once again reunited it feels so good no mad started as a kickstarter project in 2012 with the goal of building ultra rugged minimalist tools for the 21st century no mad they make charges look at this charger it's sleek and sophisticated and when women come over they think that i'm rich wow you look very sophisticated can i sleep with you yeah i mentioned i'm a child or a rich sophisticated one from iphone cases and apple watch straps to wireless chargers ultra durable cables so durable again they said you want more i was like i'm still using the first one you sent us like five years ago even premium wallets and passport holders crafted with whore ween leather i see it oh that's really how you say it actually you have to check no mad out if you get a new iphone or apple watch this year for christmas and stuff then you need to refresh uh you're your older device no mad uses american leather for their cases and bands that just looks better the more you use it just like my phone right here take my word for it look at my phone they offer convenient wireless charging solutions for the home office and better with a suite of chargers for whatever mobile device you use as well as apple watch and air pods and nomad is a climate neutral certified brand let's talk about quality one of the most important aspects i just do is to know that that is what designing new products is that they use the highest quality longest lasting materials available in nomad prioritizes design and quality over everything else check out nomad at nomad goods dot com slash ellis to see what living in nomad life is all about that's n-o-m-a-d-e-o-o-d-s dot com slash l-s-b- shorty used code ellis to save ten percent of your first order nomad go and that is a lot of the walls and movies what can i say hi man yes and no see i've heard the criticism of dinklitch's criticism is what you call it ladder pulling is you got yourself into a position and then and obviously he's had a really amazing career going like the station agent where he did to find himself beyond that but that's a way in for a live working actor exactly that's how we get work and don't act like dinklitch had the purest career by the way i'm saying all this talkin shit huge fan massive fan incredibly jealous he keeps so good that if they made a movie and called the brad Williams story it would probably star and he's not a good yes because he didn't want to tell us which is the most offensive with the dwarves ever fucking made ways he a giant no what is the tip toes is alright i'm i'm i'm doing something that is i'm sorry to listen right now you should pause this podcast you should go to youtube look up the look up the trailer for tip toes and watch it and go holy shit because it looks like an s and l sketch i watch this movie for the first month ago it is about uh... a a a man played by matthew mcconnay who is in relationship with kate beckons a mcconnay holy crap great actors must be great movie just wait uh... they are in relationship and they want to get together or she finds out that she's pregnant and then uh... now matt and i was very worried because surprise matt and i think it's a family of little people mainly his brother that is coming to visit his brother age warff played by the of course famous war factor gary oldman wait all oscar winner gary oldman is playing a dwarf now you might say well they probably cgi and shrunk them down put him on his knees they tied his arms back tied his shoulders back he looks like a rag doll he does not look like this is not a little person this is not what it works like and by the way what you might say well they probably can find the other war factors they could because they are about thirty of them for the movie there's one thing in particular that is very funny because david al goree is also in it and he's uh...
banging bridge the midget of is a war for star and uh... yeah that's a fun scene and everyone's but she wasn't in the but yet that there's a photo there's gary oldman they cut out the back of the couch those are gary's legs okay that's what they did with the academy award winner gary oldman and if you watch the preview the funniest part is the narrator going over the preview and when they get to the gary old and they the uh... there goes and in the role of a lifetime gary oldman and show him trying to fake a dwarf it's it's the it's the worst dinklage is in it his accent changes about three times during the movie it starts up polish goes to french it's not it's a point does like you have sure it's very it's very strange so he can't be in his he can't be like well i never did anything like being a a dwarf in a snow white movie you're in something worse about when that milkshake i did that movie to wear like it was movies to because he was mentally day-to-day louis my left foot that milkshake i was really like going through like fast food spokespeople like the like the jared from some of the film well i'm trying to see that he's not he's not he's not he can walk right here but that i was done back in like now you do a movie i know uh... brine cranson didn't really say back then it's okay to do it well that's in general and public i'm not saying it was ever in the bible it says it's it's cool to uh...
to have slaves but that was a long time ago and now it's not to change that we've just had a lot of yeah the baja but it's not bad heaven so you know yeah uh... it's not so somewhere somewhere in leviicus ready guys wrote you guys f-ed up christian's your voice fucked up yeah real that was by the way of this is it heaven that there's no dwarves in there thank you yeah i was i know i have a very open to be there i want to be there carryable not be there i want to be i want to be in the heaven at two pakos to yeah you may say that it heavens got to get out yeah i hope he hopes it does i believe it does and that's what i would like to go some of that i think it was a jim jefrey's bit but he said if if if it exists and whatever uh... guidelines are to get into heaven those people you don't want to hang out with it yet for sure yeah either so they but that was even one i thought you're gonna go to what about in elf what but see in elf at least you say he was a bit in a position of power because he dropped kick the guy making fun of them will fail yeah but like that's the one so then they so then to go back to our story they they panic uh... because dinklage says no to work so they don't put in they put in one word then they show the photo leaks online of the seven doors and was like what the fuck these are not are little people so they'll hold on all right will fix it again then they go back and they make every dwarf and snow white and seven-war cgi a cgi dwarf so now i'm not even hiring the work factors in the first place it's like do i do i think that the role of snow and seven dwarves in the story in general was uh...
slightly detrimental to little people and make some people look upon dwarves as like more of a fantastical fairytale human being than an actual human being yes you know the snow white and seven magical beings which just looks like a theater troupe yeah and it's like jackass five and a high that's just that's just venice i think i played kochilla yeah that's just venice so like so like yes i see that argument but then there's not other parts for us out there so you can't take away the only parts we got and then don't get me started on the new movie that comes out this week frickin wanker uh... because they took away the umpeloopas and they gave it to you grant you grant us a new paloomba what's what the what that's why i'm a comedian wait that's yeah what's the beef with the wolves they apparently it's offensive to certain people when dwarves play dwarves how is that i don't know i want to get paid what a man what what a what everybody that's an actor then that that's the point it's so insane i remember going to an edition one time where uh... the role is not written for a little person and i went to the audition and i did i did the audition and they said wow that was great but just so you know we're looking for a minority higher and i was like great i'm here like no no one's ever i never walked down the street and had anyone ever yell huh white guy no one's ever said that about me yeah okay i think there's a few other categories that i might fall into that aren't exactly the majority but like so that's that's how back ass words hollywood could be sometimes i'm not considered a minority but i'm also not allowed to play myself because i play myself that's offensive right which i think would say is that they should just write not write more roles for dwarves they should cast yeah doors on a people say the same way that he gets to just play dudes yeah and that's that's what i would argue too but in reality all but i there's there's the world is and the world it should be and the world it should be is exactly what you just described the world is is that we have to slowly make our way up and prove that we're actually decent actors and that people aren't weirded out by us so uh yes much talking to the above in the in snow white in that like how many you know they're not carrying it it's like no it's snow white it's no white that's the story it's no white it's not why i started with him the other day where he was like i've never had a lesson in acting at all i can't act i'm not an actor i somebody picked me out of the front of a club and here i am yeah and he was like i mean i'm very grateful but i've never seen myself as a legitimate actor and when i watch movies with him in it sure maybe they're not stretching him as that much but is he is he holding his own hell yeah he's yeah he's great in all those movies i'm a huge fan but i've never said god he's well the key on every is i've heard several people go man he's a terrible actor and i think now maybe you would probably bite your lip on that because but he's also found roles that suit the way he does things yeah he's like he's never been like a doctor you know he's never been like things that he doesn't relate to if you want to ever watch the greatest piece of acting ever by kiana raves uh there's a movie where he plays the buda oh boy yeah that's a stretch that is and it is it is it is awesome it is truly there's one line in particular where he just kind of looks up and goes father what is enlightenment it's so good i think it's called sadartha or or you place the dartha or it's based on books that are but uh yeah it is a classic it's called little buda little buda yeah yeah yeah i mean don't get wrong it looks incredible uh but who is that that's uh well there where where's kiana that's kiana oh he did he have the first thesis i don't know but he was he's he's kiana raves it's not his nose the buda's kiana raves whoa yeah yeah they don't talk about that film a lot yeah whoa he looks so different i don't know what culture he's even appropriate man that is he looks like that lady that looks like kevin till this winter yeah it's like till this winter thank you michael for understanding my ridiculous statements yeah so yeah so we get it that's happened but can we just let dwarves play dwarves it's fine it's good yeah this is why i'm standing up comic because in the world of stand-up comedy is it completely fair no but in general if you're funny you will work no one looks at a comic who's just absolutely killing it on stage goes yeah but they're are they do like they're funny in a way that i don't like so we can't book that it's like no you're funny you work so this is why this is why i like being a comedian this is why i put my special on a platform like viep's so if you go to viep's and you get my special call starfish that's available to seperate first uh the michael's go to a giant corporation no it goes to me it goes to the agent or baby okay the men's that's who it goes and the men's they get chunk but uh but they don't need it they're fine with their they're doing great good charlie shillow records uh but yes so the vast majority of that money goes to me so yeah go go go to viep's support little people while disney's trying to cut us out completely yeah man yeah i thought they were understanding and stuff oh you think well they tried to be too understanding it seems that's the thing they went like because there's acceptance there's whatever you want to call woke but then there's too woke it's like too far it's like and we can't say too woke because now you're being a republican woke is woke is yeah the word has been turned into something else by old lame people i know what because when you understand things yeah doesn't mean you're a bitch yeah which is kind of turned into that just like your tolerance oh you're woken i'm like i'm not offended by that man like i understand other what it's like to be in other people's shoes yeah but but i have it on me and now i'm like i'm weakling and i'm terrified like i'm not terrified dude i will snap your neck i want to know but i also understand what it's like to not be me yeah like that's what i thought it was i don't like how they've turned that into like a bad word yeah woke just means you have some empathy for people that's that was what that's the real meaning of it this whole like uh you say hey you've been doing this one thing and uh i know you think that's the right thing but it's offensive to the people you're talking about so if you can do something else and you go oh sorry about that you know they know it's offensive sure i'll do my best to change and be better in the future but i also understand these days you know you get told this story like you know you don't understand a person situation because you're not being told the real situation right so it's like if i have no empathy for a certain person because nobody educated me on uh what their real pain is then how am i sympathetic when i don't think that you actually had a tough life you know it's like it's it's something i'm saying in my act uh right now uh right now i'm trying to emphasize to people that just try to remember that your normal is not somebody else's normal no yeah you you grew up with a normal and that's right that was your normal but then someone else grew up with a different culture different influences different parents consume different media and different traditions and that's fine and i don't expect it to happen overnight like i'm 52 and i feel like i've said several inappropriate things over my life and i will again sure but even like a week ago i realized something that that somebody explained to me i don't want to get into it but i mean i said something that was that was clueless and offensive if the person didn't know me really well and then they explained their perspective and i was like holy shit how dare i and and he was like i totally get where you're coming from yeah but because you don't know because you didn't know because you haven't grown up that way you don't know what it's like to have really have nothing you know i've had some tough times but i always i never was starving and i don't think people realize what it's like to be starving yeah not like one day i didn't have dinner we're talking every day my childhood till an adult starving i never got a shot and and and and all my people around me never got a shot words out we're not going to get a shot try that and then see how your attitude is at 7-11 when someone talks shit yeah and how and that's how it should be so you you not be starving but like that you said something that person said something you and you said oh you know and then they said no big deal i know i know your heart's in the right place because they were loving the room that's why yeah like so people ask me all the time they're like oh what should i call you what's the terminology or if major little person whatever it is and i i said well in general you don't say the word major personally i don't care as long as the intention is good and i tell this story one time i was in Odessa Texas doing a show there was a guy heckling during the show he had to be thrown out uh rest the show goes great in the night i get paid i'm going with the other opening act and we're going to hop into a car from the other side of the parking lot you see lights turned on in a pickup truck and this pickup truck starts racing towards us and a guy leans out the window and yells out kill the dwarf yeah and he was that's the guy that got kicked out yeah he's not he doesn't have any issues yeah he's yeah he's waiting to park a lot that whole time whole time and so sobered up and still was like nah this is still a good idea i feel sorry for that yes me too and came at us thankfully we got in the car the other guy was driving uh the opening act was driving and he knew the trick of like going on a dirt road and like doing circles and then like you jet out i didn't know that trick until he showed me and it was great trick it worked we got away but that guy yelled out killed the dwarf so technically he used the right term it wasn't the dwarf part that offended me it was the killing that's fair yeah so like it to me it's all about the intention what were you trying to do we were you trying to try to cause pain or in your situation was it coming from a place of love and there was like understanding in the room so it's like you weren't trying to hurt somebody i have a lot of trans and non-binary friends and every now and then because i'm still such a cis male me head yeah i will say you know she's she knows what she's talking they know what they're talking about yeah and that person knows me so they don't go really yeah because i feel like that has happened before and it's like hey you know that's not come i didn't do that to be mean i did that because i'm uneducated and it's new to me and i think when people understand each other or have some room for error then there's no harm no fail like it happened to me yesterday i had a photographer here who is non-binary and they didn't and i said she one time all the other times they them all the time but one time in the haste of a conversation and i'm like oh and they didn't say anything they didn't say anything and i don't know if they care or not but they you know they know that what i'm saying is it was not you're trying yeah that's all you're making an effort and that's that's something i think that a lot of people should make that effort to be is just hey are you making an effort yes great it's hard we're instinctually when we're proven to be wrong it's hard to not want to say something back it's kind of it's it's in there i don't know if it's the way we were raised i really just believe it's human nature that when you go that's not right and you're having a short day you're a bit you know quick to go and you go oh hey man i didn't really it's the already you've already lost you know if you give me like oh i didn't know how how can i do this better there's there's no one no one's gonna bark at that you know like if i go oh i i didn't know i honestly didn't know yeah how can i how can i correct that yeah they're gonna go that person goes no still fuck you well then that's now it's them yeah there's a phrase i heard for that recently that i think is really helpful it's toxic activism and it is a part of the act and it is a part of the problem that we talk about enough there are the people who are intolerant or angry and then there are other people who are woke which is to say open to new ideas but then there are the people who get off so much on finding out disney has made some perceived faux pot and casting that they go buck wild online and it's it's so counterproductive to the people who are actually trying to just if you're leading with love we'll get there we'll be a meandering path we'll get there eventually but the toxic activists are a big part of the problem at this point as well i love that because yeah so when that movie came out with kevin heart and brian cranston and brian cranston i forget what it's called but uh brian cranston plays a paraplegic and he's a rich paraplegic the higher skiv i just thought it was a movie but uh there was that toxic activism that you talk about because there's people going out like well why didn't they get a quadriplegic person to play that person and why they have to get brian cranston oh why did they get one of the best actors in the world to act well the same as the guy that i brought up was that oh daniel dillers yeah yeah yeah yeah he's literally yeah he won the best actors in the world and the movie is based it's around him yeah so he's the whole movie so if you got a guy that isn't i mean no one's his level of acting but if you got a guy that was like well look man my stuff doesn't actually i don't know how to act but i really am in this chair so i'm actually you know like that would would that movie work no it wouldn't so come on man why did they get bread heart instead of micky rok for the wrestler he's an actual wrestler yeah yeah it's like a big rock and get actor and and and his face looks like he's taking some punches you know and that was a good point because he made wrestling look good he made you realize that it's it's a tough thing to be involved in and is it real no but is it is the life tough and is it real work hell yeah it is and i think daniel dillers did the same thing with that movie where it was like you don't know what it's like to be like this and i think he told the story well i don't know i'm not in a chair but i felt like i didn't feel like any but i didn't make me be like made it a lie yeah like i think he did it he did it he did it justice all they all them did it justice all said this right now gary old men in tip toes did not do it just right what it's streaming on amazon prime it's really this go go and watch and watch tip toes waiting for the directors cut you know they chopped an hour out of that movie they fired the director i've heard the three different podcast on this movie i could talk about this movie for years but yes they they switched they switched directors like midway through and then the original director has come out and said like oh well my cut was a lot better i'm like i want to see that one it dinklage says the same thing i'm just like you can't have an hour and a half of steaming garbage that hot there's no other hour could have been the godfather too yeah not sell it it's not gonna happen yeah i can't have it rucky four was pretty good but then the rucky four directors cut was was better but i think you're okay if you watch the one that wasn't the director's cut you get the point hey as long as you get hearts on fire and he's and he's training in the snow it's no no this is a dressage at the start that they cut out the director's cut puts in a lot of course he's because still own does his own dressage yes he does and obviously the movie they cut it out and obviously sly wanted that in there because like no no no no no i could not do that but i could do the thought you know like i do the sucks yeah he did a good job but it also was a good story for rucky to not to be too rich because he's like it was a confusing thing with like whose daughter is it and who is the lady that lives with sly sorry with with rambo yeah but the directors can't they cover that a little more so you go oh okay no relation but at first it's like why is sly like not into his wife it's like wait how does it how does it she's a nanny and he's broke how does that work yeah in a way is she related to the nanny because of the one without the director's car it's just three people living in a house that are not affiliated but they really love each other and it's like what is going on did they cut out the robot though oh you're talking about what you're gonna rock it live that's rocky for i'm talking about rambo oh okay i thought yeah so wait rambo does dressage yes dude no yes you're full water such like time on the headband and then makes the way that that pussy stuff that woke stuff sorry he he he wears you know all he's like a flannel because that's the other thing rambo you mean has had to be rocky a few times and also some other guys that were cool then he may or may not have done some steroids and he may or may not have got a bit of a belly and and remember rambo was like jacked but like really thin yeah like he was shredded yes it's pretty hard to be shredded when you're like 70 yeah so he kind of he's still big in the arms in the chest but he's got his wants to beat the titties so he goes flannel you know i mean so he goes flannel and he makes the chest hey make it look like he's got no gut but if your animal is an excellent cover yeah that was a little bit for me so i'm out like crude did a 91 too yeah also did not fool me if you know if you know the tricks i just love the fact that semester still well in one of the like toughest in terms of stereotypical action stars in history really broke the mold and re-establish it that guy's really in the horses man he loves him it's a rich thing but didn't you say he was raised playing polo oh yeah but here's the thing where he goes because yeah i watch his documentary recently about his life yeah he won't stop forcing how poor he was and he's like when i was a kid we were so poor that my dad used to buy cheap horses and i'm like dude dude you know like i'm not i'm not i'm not i didn't go out rich but i didn't like i got a friend that's like i grew up i mean there's water in my cereal when i was a kid oh yeah yeah yeah when my friend watches you go we grew up with nothing my dad bought horses for 25 bucks you're not we're not sympathetic to you dude now and then you're saying that you and your dad used to play polo but then he does have an angle like i guess he played a polo match after he became a big you know he became a superstar and he had a polo match and his father was there playing and his father knocked him off his horse like legitimately tried to rip body him in this game and that it kind of and then i also really wrote rocky i don't know if you guys like this but his father wrote his own version of it the real rocky and tried to pitch it at around the same time as it to say my son's version is okay but you should probably get a load of this one just you know but being a everyone's had a dad i hope or you know it can understand the dynamic of it to be you've dedicated your whole life to to this craft and your dad goes look at my version ticket and starts telling everybody it's got it's gonna trigger you i'm so glad my dad never tried comedy like like once i started getting into it i'll show you how to do it no uh uh you never tried comedy and i never tried being a lawyer so so we're good yeah gotta know your lane yeah exactly it's also mind-boggling to me because like uh my daughter is almost for now and like whatever she's into uh i'm not gonna try to do it it comes to me like cool that's your thing yeah like my son is my first parents that comes to me naturally but and she wants to do comedy i'm not gonna be like well sure she's not gonna be better than me i hope she is i hope she is it'd be great my son skates snowballed to now he's a boxer and yeah he trains with my guy the guys that i train with yeah i just want him to be good at it i don't like if he gets better than me it'll be the proudest day in my life yeah not well that was a lucky shot like no it's more like go for it yeah it's a weird i also feel like that is a part of slice motivation sure like i think you know sometimes bad things work out in good ways yeah even though i think like if you could have it where his dad wasn't a dick and he wasn't a millionaire known for being the greatest action hero of our time he probably take that deal right but the payoff is my dad was such a dick that even when i'm 75 i'm still determined to be this grand thing yeah because i'm constantly i'm the ghost of him i'm showing now yeah like i'm gonna beat him even when he's gone i'm gonna still try to shine so it's like uh yeah you made a great life for his family you know hopefully they seem good i see all right the girls are in movies and they've got a podcast with their dad and i think the main loser in this is mrs sly mrs sly back together yeah but he covered her face with the horses head or something he was a dog dog tattoo yeah yeah i did i had a tattoo of you and then i covered it with a dog which i need that with my first girlfriend but it was a wolf and it was it just fit it wasn't it wasn't saying she was a dog right but she i remember she told people she she covered my name with a dog i'm like it was a wolf it was a really bad tattoo yeah it's that that's that's something more extreme i don't if uh uh i don't have any tattoos my wife has a couple if she got my face tattooed on her i'd be like well that's a dumb decision but uh if she covered it with our dog i'd be like great decision you know the dumbest tattoo i've seen lately oh please tell me matt rife and everyone's like no i'm not going there with the comment i'm just going with the he brought up in the special he's like new john lennon tattoo that i got and it's the size of a penny on the back of his arm and if you're a tattoo guy i can't take you serious but you're like this and i'm like what what is that? it's kind of the same size and i'm like i get it like he did do a lot of stuff but he also like punched women and stuff like he's not the coolest dude in the world in the joke then do it real life no john lennon hit oh john lennon i thought about matt right oh jesus i'm like you keep wanting to bring the joke up i'm okay i'm not i wasn't trigon we're like okay okay i'm more about did you know john lennon was a piece of shit oh okay when whenever john lennon gets brought up i have to bring up a clip which i hope you can get or you have to watch it's one of my favorite clips it's john lennon goes on a talk show and he gets to play with chuck berry and chuck berry is john lennon's hero chuck berry's a dick for sure he's nice he's nice okay because i've heard other things about yes you could say a lot about chuck berry also not getting his face tattooed on me so yeah uh they're they're doing they're on this late night talk show and they're yes yes and they're and they're playing together and at some point yoko oh no is there oh you know chuck berry and john lennon are playing i could add something to this and she goes to a microphone and she just goes ah and she starts singing back really i'm doing pretty damn good pressure yeah she's going it's one of her things yeah and you see chuck berry give her a look like someone to shoot her like like please someone shoot her and if we could find this guy retroactively whoever was running the sound for that they shut it off they potted her down it did i've seen i've seen documentaries where uh hall mccarnie is just like you know we've all had girls wives and girlfriends they can be in the studio outside but like coming in the actual recording room that's a no no not only would she walk in but i mean did you and i were in a band together could you imagine if one of our girlfriends or wives was just like yeah and you're like wait wait wait we didn't nobody discussed this we're recording right now and you and i were in a band that's like insignificant imagine if you were in the you were a hit maker you're the Beatles and this person just no no powwow beforehand wow that weird noise you make bring it on the mic no no no one had that discussion you just decided yeah that you were going to do that with the other people in your hall mccarnie you're like i wrote yesterday yeah okay yeah forgot six i was in a Beatles class in college and apparently a lot of colleges have it because people are just so obsessed with the Beatles and uh he was like any professor that's talking about the Beatles will say yoko ono sucks and he showed this clip as like proof that she sucks yes it's so good she sucks yeah she ruined the Beatles yeah we got a guy like another album out of marion at least one maybe maybe they never would have stopped can you uh yeah can you get sound on this clip i don't know if we're gonna have a copyright issue with sharing this okay yeah you might just take a word for it yeah you know what do what you're gonna do when you when you go don't pause it's this is the end of the show yeah go check it out after also go to our patreon patreon.com slash that was made make sure you check out starfish yes starfish on veeps and uh yeah go to veeps.com slash bradleyams get the special it's called starfish i'm really proud of it it's good i i like the stuff i was there it got it got a lot of laughs and if you want to see me on tour go to bradleyams comedy.com i'm going on a 70 city tour whoa in 2024 that's just what's announced more coming uh different countries uh they had the you know man what's the city you are least excited to go to oh is that it i don't okay so there's some cities that i've just never been to that i'm like well this can't be good but but i don't know be surprised yeah because that's a thing i remember i only went on the road one time and there's nobody want to go and he showed me his dates and i was like apple to mr sconesin sounds like the worst place ever i want to go turns out it's great i love apple it actually was a i thought like the the shows were awesome yeah i love apple to and i had cheese curds and i was really high and they're deep fried cheese balls and they're very tasty they came out of my butt like 15 minutes later still in deep fried cheese ball form yep that's very true i could have sold them again uh so there's one uh there's one date on the tour and we've sold the tickets we actually sold out a show and then we added a second one uh terra hoot indiana oh that is don't know that city and that just sounds like a city that's not gonna be a great time but i have a feeling those people are gonna be awesome yep like because you i like that they're dying for some fun yeah i like one of those cities that like yeah you go to la yeah they got we're building another arena for the clippers that's gonna have even more concerts it's like every night you can go see a major sporting event a major concert so you know uh comedian like me in la playing the ace hotel at the theater the ace hotel in February so maybe you might not go but like there's a lot of competition and people in the ace hotel going on yeah yeah man it's gonna be cool man you're not fine thank you sir why'd you do the show because you guys have a large audience okay thanks and and they're cool yeah like i know the kind of people that listen to your show you're kicking ass i like the show if you do and uh so yeah like but then you go to terra hoot indiana i don't even think i'm pronouncing that correctly it's probably terra hoot yeah terra hoot terra hoot indiana they're they're like holy shit you came here i'm like yes yes i will i'll do two shows in terra hoot indiana like a real live person yeah not from terra hoot thanks for being on the show dude best of luck you know you need it you know file no it sounds like such a cool thing you're doing right now 70 different shows yeah that's like you come on man trying to be a comedian the day someone tells me you've got 70 shows that's a day i say i made it yes oh no i all i wanted to do when i started doing comedy i said if i could just pay my bills yeah and be a headlining touring comedian that's all i need that's now the fact that we're selling out shows we're adding shows we're doing theaters telling them tours multiple countries you guys your fans they've bought me a lovely house new man it's a house paid for jokes so thank you for that and uh i'm just gonna i'm just gonna keep it up because i because if you're paying for my mortgage i feel like i can make you laugh so please please watch new special starfish on vapes i would really appreciate it and thank you guys for having me see you next week guys don't die