The Most Important Agent Is You

Everyone obsesses over getting in. Harlan Cohen talk focuses on what comes after, because the secret ingredient was never the school. It's the student.Harlan Cohen has spent 25+ years helping families navigate the transition into and through college. He's the author of The Naked Roommate, the bestselling book on college life, and Win or Learn, and he runs the Best First Year coaching program.What we cover:Harlan starts with his own rocky first year — losing his roommate, his fraternity bids, and his girlfriend in a matter of weeks — and how it taught him that rejection creates reflection. We get into "wantrophy": what happens when high-achieving kids get so good at being wanted that they lose track of what they actually want. From there, his framework for the search — the six transitions every student faces (social, emotional, physical, financial, academic, professional) and his "people, places, patience" method for finding real fit. He reframes freshman year as the "getting-comfortable year," makes the case for parents as low-stakes coaches, and argues that in an AI-shaped world, curiosity is currency — so don't wait for a job, create one.What Parents Should Ask:Which of the six transitions matter most for my student, and which schools support those?On a visit, who are the specific people and places tied to what my kid wants to do?How accessible are the clubs, research, and internships my student wants?Does advising here encourage curiosity, or just box-checking toward a degree?Find Harlan:Website - https://harlancohen.com/Coaching Program - https://bestfirstyear.com/Find Ringae: Website - https://waysmith.io/Book a discovery call - https://cal.com/waysmith/discovery-callSign up for my newsletter - https://waysmith.io/#newsletter