EPISODE · May 10, 2026 · 17 MIN
The Mother I Was Given vs. The Mother I Needed
from Purfect Sunday · host Monti Wheeler
Some women wake up on Mother's Day excited to celebrate. Others wake up and brace themselves. If you're the second kind — this Sunday conversation is for you.In Episode 6 of The Purfect Sunday Podcast, Monti opens up about the truth of her own mother — who passed away 11 years ago, before their hard relationship was ever healed. As the eldest daughter of six, Monti was needed to help raise everyone else before she was ever old enough to be a daughter herself. If any part of that resonates — eldest daughter syndrome, parentification, the mother wound, or just the slow realization that the mother you got isn't the mother you needed — pull up a chair.This is a vulnerable, slow, gentle episode. We're unpacking what mother wounds actually are and the different shapes they take. She talks about the specific grief of losing a parent before the relationship was ever repaired — and the term that finally gave her language for it: disenfranchised grief. She lands the episode on three things she wants every woman who finds Mother's Day complicated to walk away with.This isn't an episode about blame. It's an episode about both/and — acknowledging that your mother probably did her best, and that her best wasn't enough, and that both can be true at the same time.In this episode of The Purfect Sunday Podcast:What a mother wound actually is — and the different shapes it takesEldest daughter syndrome and parentification: why being "the responsible one" was never your jobWhy your mother likely carries her own unhealed mother woundDisenfranchised grief: the language for losing a parent before reconciliationThe both/and that frees you — she did her best AND it wasn't enoughA weekly challenge for women who find Mother's Day hardThe three takeaways Monti wants you to leave with todayIf this episode of The Purfect Sunday Podcast finds you on the morning you needed it, please share it with one woman in your life who might be sitting with the same thing. And if you haven't already, follow The Purfect Sunday Podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen — a new episode drops every Sunday.Loved This Episode?If you're enjoying the show, a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and review means the world and helps more women find the podcast.Subscribe so you never miss a new episode of The Purfect Sunday Podcast.Sunday ObsessionsReusable Silicone Eye PatchesThe Ordinary Caffeine SolutionBenefiance Wrinkle Smoothing Eye Cream100% Silk Sleep MaskThe Purfect Sunday Podcast is for women who want to grow as people, without pretending they don't care how they show up. To connect with Monti on Instagram, click HERETo follow Purfect Sunday on Instagram, click HERE To check out my LTK, click HERETo check out my ShopMy, click HERETo check out my Amazon Storefront, click HEREExplore more on health, fashion, fitness, self-care routines, and glow-up habits at www.PurfectSunday.comThank you for spending your Sunday with me. I hope you have a Purfect Sunday. 💛
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The Mother I Was Given vs. The Mother I Needed
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