The One Habit That’s Making Your Life Much Harder ( + How to fix it)

Some technical difficulties led to this ep being up a little later than usual! I didn't sneak in a "recs of the week" to end this ep, but I have a buunch of recs listed below.💿 *Get my best practical ideas in your inbox (free)⇢*→ Sign up: https://www.muchelleb.com.au/newsletter-signup☁️ *Join the Intention Community (it's replaced the Intention app)! ⇢*→ _Every month, two brand-new tools (meditations, worksheets, videos, etc) drop, usually built around a recent video - so that you can take what you’ve learned and do something with it._→ Join: https://intentioncommunity.circle.so/🪞 *Organise your Life with the Calm Productivity Notion Pack. ⇢*→ _"This notion pack is amazing!! I feel like it’s changing my life already and I’ve never been so impressed by a product." Alice Joyce_→ Get the pack: https://shop.muchelleb.com.au/products/the-calm-productivity-notion-pack💛 *If you liked this video, you'll probably like... ⇢*→ The Behaviour Change Playlist _(when you want to start a new habit or change)_ : https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLW3yd6NHmEVqXsWO6qv2AytfUtVeVf6f7🍧 *I post more of this kind of thing on Instagram ⇢*→ Follow me: http://instagram.com/muchelleb🎧 *Prefer chattier deep-dives on productivity and behaviour change? ⇢*→ I drop weekly chatty episodes on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2HqznNA2v9McYirvqmUVvO?si=024ac78820b24443 💭 Video timeline ⇢00:00 The Trap So Many Fall Into1:03 What is Self-Discrepancy Theory?02:16 Why we criticise ourselves.04:01 To change and grow, you need surprise.05:52 To experience surprise, you need two things07:02 How to use surprise to stop the cycle.07:49 A hypothetical that can break the cycle.10:55 Replacing criticism13:33 Another way to break the cycle 🔗 Recs of The Week⇢ Want to dive deeper into the topic of today's video? Here are a few resources that you might enjoy... 🔗 Firstly, this paper on negative emotions and procrastination is a really interesting read: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12588926/#:~:text=In%20summary%2C%20most%20of%20existing,positive%20correlation%20between%20the%20two.🔗 Jud Brewer actually wrote a great article on the link between guilt/procrastination loop that I saw after starting to put together this video - great minds - (focused more on the reward of procrastination and body based curiosity) - this article introduced me to the research paper above: https://drjud.com/procrastination/procrastination-guilt/ 🔗 Jud Brewer also wrote Unwinding Anxiety, which goes in-depth on the idea of "mental" habit loops - he talks specifically about anxiety, but I've found myself applying the concepts in this book to much more: https://amzn.to/4tkVa1e 🔗 One of the first people I saw talk about the procrastination/guilt cycle is Dr David Maloney, who wrote a great book called Procrastination Decoded that you might enjoy: https://amzn.to/4tkVa1e 🔗 Michelle Segars book, The Joy Choice, talks about the rewarding experience of curiosity applied to health behaviours and exercise: https://amzn.to/4tkVa1e 🔗 If you're particularly interested in the idea of "prediction errors" triggered by "symptom deprivation" this wonderful book by Bruce Ecker talks in-depth about the process within Coherence Therapy: https://amzn.to/4tkVa1e 🔗 If the idea of surprise being a key driver of learning is of interest to you, give "How We Learn" a read. I really enjoyed this book: https://amzn.to/4vb4jvh 🔗 This book on compassion dives into our brain's threat avoidance system and how it can sometimes create efficiency but leave us unhappier: https://amzn.to/3Q40VlD