The Panic Attack That Changed My Life

I could feel it coming on again. Home alone. Sitting on the couch. Trying to watch TV and relax. My heart started racing. Chest tight. Mind spiraling. I got up and walked around. Took some deep breaths. Put my hands behind my head and tried to stop the panic from taking over. My heart seemed to jump out of its chest and skip a beat. My eyes widened. I thought I was dying. Thanks for reading! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. Laying on the floor. Baby sleeping in the room next to me. I thought, “Could this be it?” A sense of doom enveloped me. A dark fear filled my head. This went on for what seemed like an eternity. I called my wife just to talk to someone. Didn’t tell her what was going on. Didn’t want to scare her. But I think she knew something was up. I thought I was having a heart attack. Though nothing was actually wrong with me, this acute panic attack convinced me that something was physically off. It would eventually pass. But it went on much longer than the ones that had come before. I finally realized it wasn’t my heart. It was my mind. And that scared me even more. But that night, I didn’t think I’d see the sun rise the next morning. This was the latest in a string of similar episodes. I experienced a spate of panic attacks in early 2025. A multitude of stressors had combined to hijack my mind. These then manifested in overwhelming physical sensations. I was dealing with a significant situation at work that was showing no sign of resolution. I was stressed from the lack of time I had to myself. We had a newborn at home. I was navigating a marriage in transition: from husband and wife to dad and mom. My sleep was suffering. My mind was deteriorating. My body broke down. I saw my doctor to confirm nothing was actually wrong with me. My heart was fine. I went to a psychiatrist. Pills did not work. In fact, they might’ve made things worse. Shame. Confusion. Anxiety about anxiety. I was a wreck. I realized I can’t live like this. I have to take control. The panic wasn’t a breakdown. It was a message that would lead to a breakthrough. My body was saying what my mind refused to admit. This wake up call helped me implement a mindset shift. But it started with action. Enter meditation. Slowing down. Sitting still with my thoughts instead of running from them. Breathing before spiraling. Rebuilding my life one day at a time. Recommitting to a quiet, creative, and productive morning routine. Meditating. Exercising. Reading. Writing. Not trying to eliminate anxiety, but to manage and understand it. I evaluated what I could do daily, weekly, over time — to aim higher and return to an upward trajectory. I could not control external forces. But I could control how I respond to life. I alone decide my thoughts, feelings, and actions. This shift in perspective has made all the difference. That experience became the backbone of Rewired — a book born from panic, rebuilt through discipline. Panic taught me about control, ego, and fear. It reminded me how life will always keep throwing obstacles in your way. How growth only occurs in discomfort. How anxiety is a part of life but it’s an invaluable warning system. How we have the power within ourselves to be resilient and overcome anything blocking our path. I listened to my body and rewired my mind. I do not have it all figured out but I’ve learned a lot along the way. You can only run from your mind for so long. If you’ve felt your heart beat fast for no reason, this book is for you. If you feel a tightness in your chest but know you’re physically fine, then there is something for you in these pages. If you don’t know where to go or feel like something is missing from your life, I might have some morsel of insight to inspire action and drive personal transformation. Discomfort is the way forward. Discipline is the fuel. Resilience is the structure. These panic attacks didn’t end me. They reintroduced me to myself. A wake up call to get my life together. Putting it all into perspective and driving a rebuilding process that is still very much underway. I have kept my panic attacks at bay, written a book, and become a better version of myself. The anxiety is still there, but I am now equipped with the tools to make sure it does not escalate into overwhelming panic. I’m not perfect, but I’ve made an incredible amount of progress. Sometimes, we all need a little push to get back on track. Panic did that to me. Don’t wait until you’re at the end of your rope, on the ground feeling like you’re going to die, to make a change. Thanks for reading! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. Get full access to Rewired at rpshanahan.substack.com/subscribe