The Parentified Child | Episode 002

This one wasn’t recorded for public consumption.It was recorded for me, today on May 13th 2026, and moments after stepping through my front door from a powerful brainspotting session I had with my therapist Joanna Poague. I pressed record before I’d even fully processed what had just happened.We focused on something I’ve been carrying my whole life without fully naming it: being a parentified child. The youngest daughter who learned early that her job was to tend to everyone else. Who brought that pattern into her friendships, her partnerships, her family dynamics, and only recently started to recognize it for what it is.What came up during the session surprised me. Anger first, then laughter, then something quieter and more complicated. Compassion for my mother that I hadn’t been able to fully access before. Recognition of where the pattern lives in my body, my chest, my jaw, my hips, my left foot rooted to the earth while my right stayed light. Faces morphing into elders I’d never met but somehow recognized. And somewhere in the middle of it all, a clearer vision of the woman I’m actively choosing to become.The healing has been so undeniable that even my chiropractor, someone I hadn’t seen in four months, noticed the energetic shift the moment I walked in on Monday. I shared with him what brainspotting has done for me, and mentioned that I’d even considered training to become a practitioner myself. But the more I sat with it, the more I realized that brainspotting is a tool I’ll continue to use and recommend wholeheartedly to others, while astrology is the gift I’m here to share.My therapist gave me permission to potentially turn these session documentations into a book someday. This is me starting to build that archive.I’m sharing it here in case it helps someone feel less alone in their own process, or opens a door to a modality they haven’t considered yet.If you’re curious about brainspotting, I see Joanna Poague, based in Ashland, Oregon and also available via Zoom. She has changed my life.p.s. sorry about my dryer banging in the background... I had just gotten home from my session and pressed record before I even thought about ambient noise. felt too real not to share anyway. 🤍Raw audio. Unedited. Real.p.p.s. if you’re interested in my grandma’s journals from her missionary trips compiled into a book, find it here: It’s All Part Of The Adventure ~ rightly titled as one of the statements my grandma would constantly remind us of ;)p.p.p.s I remembered so much more from the session after recording. While listening, bear in mind that each dynamic mentioned is far more nuanced than you hear. There’s always duality in all things. Some “hardships”, yes, but beauty too. That’s life. && the many topics I briefly touched on here definitely deserve to be fully explored in the future. But again, this wasn’t intended to be publicly shared with people who do not know the nuances within, as I do. This was recorded as a documentation for my future self to look back on when/if I ever decide to write a book about my experience with brainspotting and the immense healing it brought me, around many, many topics in life. This is a brief look into one of those topics. I share because many people have asked me what brainspotting looks + feels like. I share it in hopes that it provides you with a look at what brainspotting sessions can be… from the initial trigger to the bodily sensations and realizations that surface, leading to a release on both subconscious and physical levels, && a reframing of that trigger… Though each session is vastly different, here’s a taste ;) This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit noeticlandscapes.substack.com