The parentified child: Why they're often the eldest daughter (with Whitney Goodman) episode artwork

EPISODE · Jul 1, 2025 · 36 MIN

The parentified child: Why they're often the eldest daughter (with Whitney Goodman)

from For Love of Recovery · host Dominique Dajer

If you were the kid who held it all together—the one who comforted your parent, kept your sibling safe, made things feel normal when they absolutely weren’t—this episode is for you.In the first episode of our Parentification 101 mini-series, I sit down with therapist and author Whitney Goodman to talk about what it really means to be a parentified child—and why it so often falls on the eldest daughter.We talk about the invisible labor kids take on in families affected by addiction and dysfunction. The emotional weight. The unspoken expectations. The way that "being the responsible one" can follow us into adulthood—shaping our relationships, our sense of self, and our deepest fears.I share what it felt like to be the second mom in my family: the pressure to fix, to manage, to make everything okay—even when I was barely holding it together myself.This conversation might stir up things you’ve kept buried for a long time. But naming it is how we start to loosen its grip.Because once we see the role we were never meant to play, we can finally choose a different one.🎯 This episode will help you understand:What parentification actually is—and how to spot it in your storyThe difference between emotional and logistical parentificationWhy eldest daughters so often carry this invisible burdenHow it shows up in adulthood as perfectionism, anxiety, people-pleasingAnd how to begin setting boundaries, letting go of guilt, and honoring the child in you who never got to just be a kid📘 Free sibling e-book: 6 actions to help you navigate a sibling’s substance use journey. Download here: https://www.forloveofrecovery.com/e-book🤝 Join our sibling support community: A private group for siblings navigating a loved one’s addiction.Join here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1001711494318102⁠Share your storyConnect with siblings who get itAccess tools, support, and ongoing conversationFollow us on social for more sibling stories and tools:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/forloveofrecovery/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@forloveofrecoveryFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61561542956095🎙 More from this episodeListen to our Family Dynamics 101 episode: https://open.spotify.com/episode/5dVDA080Dx8SjrDR0Wx5GKDownload Whitney’s parentification workbook: https://callinghome.co/topics/the-parentified-child-workbook More from Whitney's work:Calling Home podcast: https://callinghome.co/blog/listen-to-the-calling-home-podcast About Whitney: https://sitwithwhit.com

If you were the kid who held it all together—the one who comforted your parent, kept your sibling safe, made things feel normal when they absolutely weren’t—this episode is for you.In the first episode of our Parentification 101 mini-series, I sit down with therapist and author Whitney Goodman to talk about what it really means to be a parentified child—and why it so often falls on the eldest daughter.We talk about the invisible labor kids take on in families affected by addiction and dysfunction. The emotional weight. The unspoken expectations. The way that "being the responsible one" can follow us into adulthood—shaping our relationships, our sense of self, and our deepest fears.I share what it felt like to be the second mom in my family: the pressure to fix, to manage, to make everything okay—even when I was barely holding it together myself.This conversation might stir up things you’ve kept buried for a long time. But naming it is how we start to loosen its grip.Because once we see the role we were never meant to play, we can finally choose a different one.🎯 This episode will help you understand:What parentification actually is—and how to spot it in your storyThe difference between emotional and logistical parentificationWhy eldest daughters so often carry this invisible burdenHow it shows up in adulthood as perfectionism, anxiety, people-pleasingAnd how to begin setting boundaries, letting go of guilt, and honoring the child in you who never got to just be a kid📘 Free sibling e-book: 6 actions to help you navigate a sibling’s substance use journey. Download here: https://www.forloveofrecovery.com/e-book🤝 Join our sibling support community: A private group for siblings navigating a loved one’s addiction.Join here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1001711494318102⁠Share your storyConnect with siblings who get itAccess tools, support, and ongoing conversationFollow us on social for more sibling stories and tools:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/forloveofrecovery/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@forloveofrecoveryFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61561542956095🎙 More from this episodeListen to our Family Dynamics 101 episode: https://open.spotify.com/episode/5dVDA080Dx8SjrDR0Wx5GKDownload Whitney’s parentification workbook: https://callinghome.co/topics/the-parentified-child-workbook More from Whitney's work:Calling Home podcast: https://callinghome.co/blog/listen-to-the-calling-home-podcast About Whitney: https://sitwithwhit.com

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The parentified child: Why they're often the eldest daughter (with Whitney Goodman)

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This episode was published on July 1, 2025.

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If you were the kid who held it all together—the one who comforted your parent, kept your sibling safe, made things feel normal when they absolutely weren’t—this episode is for you.In the first episode of our Parentification 101 mini-series, I sit...

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