The Pattern That's Keeping You Stuck in the Same Fight (And How to Break It)

You’re not fighting about what you think you are.Most high-functioning couples aren’t stuck because they’re incompatible—they’re stuck in a pattern they don’t see.If you’ve ever thought: “How are we having this exact same argument again?”—this episode is for you.Because it’s not about the dishes, the tone, or even what was said.It’s about the cycle you’re stuck in—and how to get out of it.In this episode, I sit down with certified sex and couples therapist Rebecca Eudy, author of Parents in Love, to break down what’s actually happening inside your relationship after kids—and how to reconnect without needing more time, energy, or perfect conditions.What We Cover:Why couples repeat the same fights after kids (and how to recognize your pattern)The most common dynamic: pursuer vs. withdrawerWhy conflict isn’t the problem—getting stuck isThe shift from blaming your partner → to blaming the cycleWhy “being right” keeps you disconnectedSimple ways to reconnect through micro-moments (that take seconds)How to prioritize your relationship without adding more to your plateThe truth about desire after kids—and why nothing is “wrong”About the Guest:Rebecca Eudy is a certified sex and couples therapist and author of Parents in Love, A Guide to Great Sex After Kids. She helps couples break negative patterns, rebuild connection, and create more fulfilling relationships—especially in the season of parenting.Links + Resources:Rebecca’s book: Parents in LoveRebecca's Podcast: Under the Hood PodcastConnect with Rebecca: WebsiteFollow Rebecca: InstagramFollow ThatMom: InstagramJoin the ThatMom Community: EMAILLearn more: That Mom WebsiteIf this episode resonated, send it to your partner—or a mom who’s in it with you—and follow the show so you don’t miss what’s coming next.