The Pelvic Floor is Lava: Smartphones Vs. Your Busted Butthole

On Today’s Show:Our favorite prostitute, Sagittarius Shawty, proves once again she’s not the most gracious hostess.A new reality show contestant learns the hard way that prison doesn’t come with ChapStick.Alex Jones has a nuclear-grade meltdown over an ex-employee leaving Infowars.Plus: hemorrhoids, smartphones, and why “big toilet” needs to innovate.Domestic Drama: Tim shares updates on Lord Douche’s hoarding habit—complete with washed-out salsa jars, taco sauce packets, and 20 ice cream pints.Sagittarius Shouty Files: From charging clients immediately, to refusing water, to limiting sex positions, Sagittarius takes “customer service” to new lows—then puts her johns on blast for the internet.Family Lockup (A&E): A reality show turns into high-maintenance chaos when one temporary “inmate” demands ChapStick and a clean cell.Alex Jones Meltdown: Following Owen Shroyer’s defection, Jones unleashes WWE-style trash talk, toilet metaphors, and apocalyptic promises to “destroy you, scum.”Hemorrhoids & Smartphones: A new study links scrolling on the toilet to swollen veins, discomfort, and bleeding. Tim wonders: where is the “Lazy Boy” of toilets?Quick Hits:Killer turned Shein model? Luigi Mangione’s face sparks fast-fashion controversy.Listener voicemails tackle fake Tourette’s, returning groceries, and Tim’s egg obsession.Email: [email protected]: 206-666-4463Support DV: Sideshow Memberships | PatreonSocial: Twitter & Instagram @distortedview | Facebook /distortedviewshow