The Perfectionist Trap That Makes It Hard to Leave Law

Lawyers are, as a group, highly responsible, hard on themselves, and convinced they should be able to handle more than anyone else around them. That combination does not just make for a stressful career. It makes it genuinely difficult to acknowledge that something is wrong, let alone do anything about it.That is where perfectionism becomes a trap. When you hold yourself to a standard you would never apply to anyone else, leaving starts to feel like weakness, or like you are abandoning the people around you. The result is that lawyers who are deeply miserable keep going, often until their body forces the issue for them.In this episode of The Former Lawyer Podcast, Sarah Cottrell breaks down why this kind of perfectionism is more common than most lawyers want to admit, where it comes from, and why recognizing it is one of the most important things you can do if you are thinking about leaving law.1:03 — Why being highly responsible and hard on yourself feels like humility but isn't2:04 — Why holding yourself to a higher standard than everyone else is actually about ego3:02 — The vacuum-sealed pod problem and why "everyone makes mistakes" doesn't feel true about you6:01 — How this mindset makes it hard to leave, from feeling like you're abandoning people to telling yourself you're just weak7:35 — How to know if you're this person and what it actually costs you9:17 — Why therapy is worth bringing this up in, even if Sarah's framing annoys you10:31 — What happens when lawyers don't let themselves leave until their body forces the issue11:48 — What to actually sit with if this episode resonatedMentioned In The Perfectionist Trap That Makes It Hard to Leave LawFirst Steps to Leaving the Law The Former Lawyer CollaborativeI'm closing enrollment for my self-paced group program, the Former Lawyer Collaborative, permanently on August 31st, 2026. If you've been thinking about joining now is the time. Head to formerlawyer.com/collab to join before doors close on August 31st.