The Pitfalls of Yin and Yang

On consciously challenging your relationship perspective to avoid reinforcing blind spots. – In our work, we’ve realized that most men tend to fall into one of two general camps: they are either doing-oriented or being-oriented. Those who are more doing-oriented tend to be hyper-focused, solution-oriented, and constantly moving forward. They get things done, and are good at juggling multiple problems while working towards a solution for each. In contrast, being-oriented men tend to need more alone time for introspection, meditation, and thoughtfulness in order to connect with what is being asked of them, and to recognize when things need to be done. In reality, we all have a bit of each type in us, but most of us do tend to fall more to one side than the other. And one of the common problems that we hear men talking about is, they find it hard to connect with their partners about their relationship needs and expectations when their current orientation feels misaligned with that of their partner. In this episode of The Crux, Ryan and Slade dive into the ways of being and orienting in the world that can either help you connect in relationships the way you want or that take you out of balance, and offer solutions to those struggling with achieving a more doing-focused orientation. Listen to learn more! SHOW NOTES: 00:00 – On the difference between doing-oriented and being-oriented men 03:54 – Determining which camp you typically occupy, and how it impacts your relationship 05:50 – Ryan shares a personal story about learning to be more conscious of the different orientations experienced in his relationship 10:14 – On letting go of learned stories and expectations 11:21 – Slade shares about his experience learning to de-prioritize his own fixations in relationship 15:22 – The importance of consciously challenging our “versions” of our relationships 18:07 – What men can do at home to start challenging their habits 21:30 – Specific advice for being-oriented men 24:24 – Using boundary-specific work to honor your needs while addressing the root cause of your avoidance