The Power Paradox: How Great Leaders Lose Influence Without Knowing It

In this episode of The Spaghetti Wall, we dive deep into leadership psychology, power dynamics, and the hidden costs of control. Pulling from Motivational Interviewing for Leadership (MI-LEAD), we explore the Power Differential—how your title changes the room before you even speak—and the Power Paradox—how the traits that get you promoted (like empathy, curiosity, and collaboration) are often the first to disappear once you're in charge.You’ll learn:What power really is (it’s not good or bad—it’s leverage)The 5 types of power every leader uses (French & Raven’s classic model)Why leaders often lose influence the more they try to assert controlHow to strike the right balance between structure and autonomyPractical scripts and exercises to boost team engagement and moraleWe also share real-world leadership stories—what not to do (Valerie’s slide lock-down) and what does work (Jacob’s collaborative curiosity)—so you can learn from lived experience, not just theory.If you’ve ever wondered:Why your team shuts down when you speakHow to give feedback without micromanagingWhy “soft skills” like empathy and reflection are actually force multipliers...then this episode is for you.Tools we discuss:The “Two Dials” of leadership (Volume of Authority + Base of Connection)ORS (Open-ended questions, Affirmations, Reflections, Summaries)Power Amplifiers vs. Power Mitigators4 practical leadership habits you can try this weekWhether you're a new manager, an experienced leader, or just trying to be better with people—this episode will reframe how you think about power, connection, and sustainable leadership.The mess is the method. And navigating power skillfully? That’s leadership in the mess.