The Practice of Saying No

Most of us did not grow up in homes, schools, workplaces, or relationships where “no” was considered an acceptable answer. Maybe you learned to explain, justify, soften, over-apologize, or offer a whole life story in place of simply drawing a boundary. Maybe saying no still feels selfish, rude, ungrateful, dramatic, or difficult. In this episode of Right Here, hosts Christopher Mooney, LCSW and Kenyon Phillips, LMSW explore why saying no can feel so hard, especially for people who learned early on that keeping other people comfortable was safer than being honest about their own limits. Drawing from conversations around people-pleasing, boundaries, resentment, emotional regulation, and the nervous system, Christopher and Kenyon examine what “no” actually protects: your time, energy, health, values, relationships, and ability to show up honestly. The conversation looks at the myth that no is always harsh, the fear that disappointing someone means losing connection, the belief that we owe everyone a detailed explanation, and the quiet self-betrayal that can happen when every request becomes a yes. The episode also offers a practical path toward cleaner, more sustainable no’s: buying yourself time, starting with low-stakes limits, using simple language, tolerating discomfort, and asking whether a yes now will become resentment later. Saying no does not have to make you cold, selfish, or unavailable. It can be a compassionate response that protects the parts of your life and relationships that matter most. You are allowed to have limits. You are allowed to disappoint people sometimes. You are allowed to be a person, not a resource.To book a free consultation with Christopher, Kenyon, or the other providers at Lumen Therapy Collective, visit lumentherapycollective.com. Follow Right Here on Instagram: @lumen_therapy_collectiveSubscribe, share, and review Right Here on your favorite podcast platform!Right Here is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, diagnosis, or treatment. If you’re experiencing a mental health crisis, please contact local emergency services or a trusted mental health professional.