The Problem With Minimiaing Trauma: why naming your experience matters

In this episode, I revisit the idea of “big T” and “little t” trauma after hearing Dr. Frank Anderson discuss why these labels can sometimes get in the way of healing. I agree with him that trauma is defined by its impact, not the size or obviousness of the event. But I also share why naming my own experiences—especially the ones I minimized for years—was a crucial step in recognizing how my nervous system had been shaped. Without language, I couldn’t see the patterns that were quietly directing my responses, relationships, and sense of safety. For many of us, naming isn’t about hierarchy. It’s about awareness. I walk listeners through the reflective questions Dr. Anderson uses to help people identify the parts of themselves that still carry overwhelm, fear, or unprocessed pain. And as I explore each question, I share examples from past coaching conversations to make the process tangible and relatable. I close with a discussion on self-compassion—what it actually looks like, why it matters, and why learning to treat ourselves with the same understanding we offer others can become a turning point in healing. This episode is an invitation to stop minimizing your pain, start naming your story, and take the first real steps toward nervous system repair and emotional resilience. contact me: email: [email protected] instagram @wendyparrishcoaching