What's the process of saying goodbye? I've actually been through it twice, and right now I'm going through it for the third time. Let's talk about that process. You're listening to The Daily Grateful.
I'm Michael Kroos. I've been taking a couple of days off because of what's been going on with my family. But it's time to go back to work, so here we are. In 1999, my sister passed away.
And we had a process of saying goodbye to her. It was not fun. As a matter of fact, it was horrifying. She died of cancer, and it was rough.
It was the first time I'd ever been through something like that. But after it was done, and after we processed everything, and after everything kind of crystallized in my mind, I found myself being grateful to know her. Then again, in 1985, the same thing happened with Mom. And it was the same process.
I'm not going to go into detail about this because everybody that I'm going to talk about in this podcast, this almost identical process has been going on. And right now, it's going on with my brother Al. Again, I'm not going to get into great details here, but I'm going to tell you he's been ill for seven years. And it's been rough.
It has been really, really rough for the last seven years. And a week or so ago, he was in the VA hospital where he'd been for over a month, and they decided that it was time for him to go to an extended care facility, a nursing home. He went to the nursing home, and he absolutely freaking hated it. He was angry to be there.
And he had 30 days of rehab to do there to try to get him well enough to go home. And if he failed that, he was going to live out the rest of his life there. Well, two days in, he just sort of stopped. Everything stopped, and he was rushed to a hospital in Clearwater, where I live.
That was four days ago? Yeah. And the process began. Day one, he was very mad because they had this mask on that was forcing air down his throat, and he couldn't take the mask off.
We got the damn mask off, and we communicated with him. Day two, he stopped talking, but he kept responding to us, and he would look at us. Day three, we could tell that he was dreaming. He never opened his eyes again, and he hadn't said a word.
And day four, which is today, you saw no signs of anything. He's just sitting there, going through it. And we have no idea when he will be done going through it. But the entire family has got to visit with him and talk to him about things.
And today, I was alone with him for quite a while, and I got to talk to him about a lot of things. I have no idea if he heard me. I kind of think he did not. I kind of think that it is the same process that I've gone through two times before, to where now we are at the stage where he's like done.
And there's nothing left except the fact that he is breathing, and his breaths are very labored. So while I spent an hour talking to him today, it was more for me. Like I said, I'm reasonably sure that he did not hear me. When I sat there and was ready to leave to come home today, I found myself feeling nothing but gratitude, feeling nothing but love and pride in my nephews, two of my nephews who have been there, taking care of everything for their mom and their dad, and making all of the important decisions.
As a matter of fact, I was included. I was asked, and I said, I don't have a vote in anything. And his wife, Juanita, said, yes, you do have a vote. And we were all on the same page through this whole process.
We have all been on the same page. Here's another reason I'm grateful. I'm grateful that for three times, I've had this process. For three times, I've had the opportunity to go through this.
There are so many people who don't get to go through this that die instantly for no reason at all. And the family is just in shock. For the members of my immediate family, this is how it's ended every time. And while my brother's not gone yet, I'm sure as I'm recording this, he will be soon.
And the process has continued. I will tell you that the same with my sister and my mom. At the end, they were all very peaceful. And it is with my brother.
They were all at peace. There was not a sign of stress on any face. There's not a sign of stress on my brother's face. I've never seen my brother look so unstressed in years, just since we were kids.
So I'm grateful for this. I'm grateful that I have been given this process. I'm not alone in this. Many of you have gone through the same thing.
And many of you will go through the same thing. And, you know, I hope that I am fortunate enough when it is my time to be able to go through it this way. Day one in this hospital, he was suffering. He was suffering a lot.
And after decisions were made, the suffering stopped and the comfort came in immediately. I'm so grateful for that. We're going to try and get back to normal tomorrow. But if you don't hear me tomorrow, please understand.
But I think I'll be here. Either way, take care.