The Psychology of Self-Sabotage in Relationships (And How to Heal It) with Livia Rismondo and Nathan Francis

Why do so many people say they want healthy love… yet keep ending up in the same painful relationship patterns? In this episode of The Anxiety Recovery Podcast, I'm joined by Livia Rismondo and Nathan Francis for an honest conversation about the psychology of self-sabotage in relationships. We explore why so many people unconsciously push away healthy love, chase emotionally unavailable partners, and repeat the same dating patterns—even when they desperately want something different. Together, we unpack what self-sabotage actually looks like beneath the surface, why fear can disguise itself as intuition, and how anxious attachment, subconscious conditioning, and a lack of inner freedom shape the way we show up in love. We also share personal stories of recognizing our own relationship patterns, discuss the habits that create lasting emotional change, and explore what it truly means to date from your highest self rather than from old survival patterns. In this episode, we discuss: Why you keep repeating the same relationship patterns with different people The psychology behind self-sabotage in dating and relationships How anxious attachment influences who you're attracted to The difference between intuition and fear Why healthy relationships can sometimes feel uncomfortable Signs you're repeating a subconscious pattern instead of choosing love consciously How lacking inner freedom affects your relationships The role of healthy habits in creating emotional healing How to stop sabotaging healthy love and build secure relationships What it looks like to date from your highest self instead of your wounds How to stop unhealthy / negative habits If you've ever found yourself asking, "Why do I keep ending up in the same relationship?" or "Why do I push away the love I say I want?" This episode will help you understand what's really happening beneath the surface and give you practical insights to begin breaking the cycle. Whether you're healing anxious attachment, recovering from toxic relationships, or learning how to create healthy, secure love, this conversation will leave you with a deeper understanding of yourself and a clearer path forward.Listen to Valerie on Nathan's podcast and we talked more about healing your anxious attachment style here: https://open.spotify.com/episode/2rz6kS4uhFSDWwysYti5nF?si=hxsdE3SxRpmaGlRQmm79kQ Listen to Valerie on Livia's Podcast - Healing Anxious Attachment and Setting Boundaries as a People Pleaser: https://open.spotify.com/episode/4NUzBinhBLYaiC3obr7dyz?si=sMdFvkrWQCG1BLgbSuA0AA