The question that stops women in their tracks  and why the silence after it says everything episode artwork

EPISODE · May 15, 2026 · 26 MIN

The question that stops women in their tracks and why the silence after it says everything

from The Strong-but-Struggling Podcast

You say it all the time. "I don't really ask for much." "I don't want to be a burden." "I'm just low maintenance."And you say it like it's a personality trait. Like it's just who you are.It's not who you are. It's what you learned.In this episode, Alyssa introduces the question that has stopped women in their tracks more than any other in her years of clinical work: why not? Why don't you ask for much? Why don't you want people to go out of their way for you? Why do you extend a grace to everyone around you that you won't let them extend back to you?The answer has nothing to do with being low maintenance. It has everything to do with a rule your nervous system learned a long time ago — in a relationship, a community, a childhood — that needing things had a cost. And you got so good at needing less that you forgot it was ever a choice.This episode cracks that open. In the best way.In this episode:The specific moment Alyssa recognized this pattern — in her clients and in herselfHow she learned to ask for less inside an abusive marriageThe difference between your personality and your survival strategyWhy the people who love you most can't show up for you when you won't let themThe one thing to try this week that costs nothing and changes everythingThe takeaway: Notice one moment this week where you automatically edit yourself down. You don't have to do it differently yet. Just catch it. "There it is." Noticing is the beginning of choosing.Chapters00:00The Struggle of Self-Abandonment01:30Understanding the Question: Why Not?05:03Personal Story: The Cost of Needing Less15:37The Nervous System's Role in Needing Less19:05Taking Action: Small Steps to Reconnect26:09Building a Supportive CommunityJoin The Living Aligned CollectiveApply for ReclaimCatch me on IG @heyalyssabooth Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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