EPISODE · Jul 22, 2026 · 21 MIN
The Raccoon, the Cryptid, and the Measuring Tape | 511
from Hysteria 51
Seattle has a new celebrity, and he’s short, round, furry, and built like a raccoon somebody accidentally compressed into a carry-on bag. World, meet Jimothy, the unusually shaped trash panda whose possible spinal deformity, fearless neighborhood adventures, and magnificent little strut have transformed him into an internet sensation, local icon, and living reminder that charisma has absolutely nothing to do with having a neck. No word yet on who he is dating, but our money is on a Kardashian!Then we stomp into even more forbidden scientific territory to investigate one of cryptozoology’s least-requested mysteries: How big is Bigfoot’s... member? An anthropologist uses primate anatomy, evolutionary biology, and far more professionalism than this question deserves to determine whether Sasquatch is proportionally impressive or merely overcompensating with those enormous feet. Also, peen bone??? Maybe!Join us for viral raccoon mania, Sasquatch bedroom speculation, penis bones, and unfortunate proportions. All that and more on the only podcast stupid enough to ask whether Jimothy may secretly be the better-endowed cryptid. Hysteria 51!Links & Resources📌Tiny Trash Panda📌Bigfoot Bedroom Disappointments Email us your Contest Topics:[email protected] us your favorite WEIRD news stories:[email protected] the ShowGet exclusive content & perks as well as an ad and sponsor free experience at https://www.patreon.com/Hysteria51 from just $1ShopBe the Best Dressed at your Cult Meeting!https://www.teepublic.com/stores/hysteria51?ref_id=9022See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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The Raccoon, the Cryptid, and the Measuring Tape | 511
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