THE RIGHT WAY TO BE QUEER: Compulsory Heterosexuality

The Queerest Podcast is back, and Season 2 begins with one deeply inconvenient question: what if the “normal” life you were taught to want was just heterosexuality with better branding? In the Season 2 premiere, Andraé sits down with cultural historian Dr. Nicole Rizzuto to unpack compulsory heterosexuality: the social script that treats straightness as the default and quietly shapes who we date, what we chase, and what we call a “successful” life. First named by Adrienne Rich in 1980, compulsory heterosexuality isn’t just theory. It’s the reason so many queer people look back at old relationships, old expectations, and old versions of themselves and think: wait… was that actually me, or was I just following the script? Together, Andraé and Dr. Rizzuto explore how respectability, homonormativity, modern dating, and the pressure to be “easy to understand” keep repackaging the same old message: be visible, be accepted, but please don’t make anyone too uncomfortable. Cute system. Terrible vibes. This episode traces where compulsory heterosexuality comes from, how it still shows up today, and what it means to step outside the script long enough to ask: What do I actually want?