The Role of Shame & Blame in Blocking Change in your NeuroDiverse Relationship

Today, Stephanie and Barb talk about Shame, Blame, & Trauma. The key point is that all of us deal with shame at some point in our life, but not dealing with shame will ultimately lead to the death of something.About Barbara Grant:Barbara Grant, CAS, NCC, is a Certified Autism Specialist (IBCCES) and certified Neurodiverse Couples Coach (AANE) and has completed her Master's in MFT (Marriage and Family Therapy.) She has been trained through the International Association of ND Christian Marriage. She has been coaching and offering Biblical counseling since2005, working with individuals, couples, and groups. Her current coaching practice focuses on neurodiverse couples, individuals, and families and offers support groups forneurotypicals. Barbara enjoys people! She herself is neurotypical; her first marriage (of 20 years) was to a neurodiverse partner, and she had a neurodiverse adult child from that marriage.She brings a lifetime of experience, compassion, and understanding to all her clients and is becoming a significant voice in the growing dialog about how to best support and strengthen neurodiverse relationships.NT SUPPORT GROUPS (2 kinds):1. Strength for saying in the Marriage2. Healthy Separation/ DivorceAdvantages of group therapy:• Safe, confidential Zoom group (8 max)• “Solution-focused” therapy model• Incubator for change and growth• Supports movement through stages of change• Cross-sharing, learning from others• Healing experience to share and be validated• Multiple prayer partners - friendships• Goal setting and homework• Best value for time/moneyHOW TO WORK WITH BARBARA: Free 25 min Consultation online coaching agreement and intake questionnaire 90 min intake session Goal setting ongoing 55 min sessions (weekly, bi-monthly, etc.) HOMEWORK (customized for each client) Option of support group (better value for time/money spent) Req. a free consult: www.HopeForCouples.netBarbara's website: https://bg-hc.com/Resources:Where to Learn more about Interpersonal Neurobiology & Christianity⁃ Attachment (your 3 NDCC podcasts with Dr. Gill - share these episode links)⁃ “Attachment to God” podcasts (various shows)⁃ Tim Fletcher (Healing Complex Trauma website resources: https://www.timfletcher.ca/,YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCeaEF2gpMi_hkXvrhAVwltg)⁃ Jim Wilder (your NDCC Enemy Mode podcast - share episode link, Life Model Workswebsite resources: https://lifemodelworks.org/, book: Escaping Enemy Mode)⁃ Curt Thompson (Book: The Soul of Shame: Retelling the Stories We Believe AboutOurselves, “NeuroFaith” podcast, “Being Known” YouTube channel:https://www.youtube.com/c/BeingKnownPodcast)⁃ Geoff & Cyd Holsclaw (discussions of trauma, neurobiology, and healing attachment intheir “Embodied Faith” YouTube channel:https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLoTshjA7gm4rKtxPuMelx8DqrT7Rzs0UT)Links to specific things I mention:Spectrum Magazine: At the Intersection of Autism and Trauma (2018)https://www.spectrumnews.org/features/deep-dive/intersection-autism-trauma/Tim Fletcher Understanding TraumaResults of ShamePart 1https://www.youtube.com/live/-fTAJiocAYk?si=0dvVsHcmTJnilqkEPart 2https://www.youtube.com/live/jfhQ_3kQ2GM?si=LebFr40ME1vb2xbqShame: Curt Thompson- Being Known YouTube playlist (S2, Ep 1-11)https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLHwplwueDVOFXIFbjJQ1STzUCnMUXHGNP&si=TE6H5pPHMlKRyVak“SIFT B” concept, discussed by Curt Thompson in Being Known YouTube podcast (S2 Ep1)https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tXXUs-5zc1I&list=PLHwplwueDVOFXIFbjJQ1STzUCnMUXHGNP&index=3&pp=iAQB