The Second Most Profitable Form of Writing

Philip Dusenberry once said, “I have always believed that writing advertisements is the second most profitable form of writing. The first, of course, is ransom notes.”I can testify that Dusenberry is correct. The best ad writers make more money than the most highly paid lawyers and heart surgeons.Great advertising makes an enormous difference in the top line revenue of a company. A reputation for being able to write great ads makes an enormous difference in your bank account. But only if you get paid according to the growth of the businesses you write for.Did you notice that I ended that sentence with a preposition? A pedantic will tell you that I should have said, “But only if you get paid according to the growth of the businesses for whom you write ads.” But I chose not to do that. If you can tell me why, you might have the makings of an ad writer.Do you have a friend who reads the books of the world’s most famous authors?If you say, “Call me Ishmael,” and your friend says, “Moby Dick,” your friend has the ingredients to bake a wordcake.Say to your friend, “Two roads diverged in a yellow wood.”If your friend says, “Robert Frost,” he or she has the ability to lead people to places they have never been.Say, “The price of self-destiny is never cheap, and in certain situations it is unthinkable. But to achieve the marvelous, it is precisely the unthinkable that must be thought.”If your friend looks at you and says, “Tom Robbins died last month,” they definitely have the makings of ad writer.“As you read, so will you write.”If the cadence and rhythm and unpredictable phrases singular to poets, screenwriters and novelists are echoing in your brain, your mind will spew rainbows of words like ocean water from the blowhole of a whale.Luke records Jesus as having said, “Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.” If you want to know what is inside a person, listen to what they say and read what they write.The minds of great writers are filled with the music of other great writers. Music cannot flow from your fingertips if it does not live in your mind.I don’t mean to be unkind, but most writers have no music in their mind.Tom Robbins told NPR in 2014, “I would tell stories aloud to himself, but always out in the yard with a stick in my hand. I would beat the ground as I told the story. And we moved fairly frequently. We would leave houses behind where one section of the yard was completely bare from where I had destroyed the grass. But I realized much later in life that what I was doing was drumming. I was building a rhythm. Even today as a writer I pay a lot of attention to the rhythm in my work.”When Tom Robbins died, hypnotic passages from his bestselling novels were quoted by NPR and The New York Times in their eulogies of his life.Character dialogue written by Aaron Sorkin is the standard by which all screenwriting is judged. Aaron says, “It’s not just that dialogue sounds like music to me. It actually is music. Anytime someone is speaking for the purpose of performance, whether they’re doing it from a pulpit in a church, whether it’s a candidate on the stump or an actor on a stage, anytime they’re speaking for the purposes of performance, all the rules of music apply.”The workload of my 81 Wizard of Ads partners will soon be at maximum capacity.I am looking for brilliant ad writers. Between now and the end of the year I will onboard a small group of writers who are worth a lot more money than they are currently being paid. They will attend the partner meeting this autumn.Selection, orientation, and enculturation requires diligence and patience on both sides.Our journey will begin when you send exactly 12 things you have written to [email protected]. Choose the work that best represents you.Know that it will probably be summertime before you hear anything back from us.The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.Do you have the courage to begin?Roy H. Williams