The Secret Ingredients for Emotional Regulation

When a student or child is dysregulated, adults often focus entirely on finding the right words to say or the appropriate consequence to give. But what if the most critical factor in that interaction isn't the consequence itself, but the energy of the adult delivering it? Dr. Lori Desautels, an educator, researcher, and professor of applied educational neuroscience at Butler University, joins the podcast to reframe how we approach discipline, emotional regulation, and transitions. Her latest manual, Body and Brain Brilliance, emphasizes that true support, whether in a classroom or a living room, must begin with the adult's own nervous system. Emily and Lori discuss why transitions are biologically exhausting, how to build a vocabulary around physical sensations, and why traditional, punitive discipline models often escalate neurodivergent students. Lori also outlines a practical, compassionate framework for repairing ruptures between teachers and students, shifting the focus away from sheer compliance and toward co-regulation. TAKEAWAYS A dysregulated adult cannot effectively regulate a dysregulated child, making the adult's own awareness the first pillar of support. The goal isn't to be perfectly calm all the time, it's to cultivate "embodied awareness," recognizing the physical signs of when your nervous system is activated. Transitions are difficult because the brain consumes significant energy moving from a predictable, comfortable state into new expectations or environments. Effective discipline often requires an adult to offer their grounded nervous system to a child who needs to borrow a little stability. Outward behavior is not necessarily defiance, it's often an indicator that the nervous system is struggling and requires support. Late-diagnosed neurodivergent adults are frequently missed in clinical settings because their presentations - often masked by high intellect, outward compliance, or severe perfectionism - fail to match traditional diagnostic expectations. Join Emily Kircher-Morris on May 1st for a targeted continuing education training designed to equip mental health professionals with the updated frameworks necessary to identify and support this population. This session covers the clinical complexities of burnout, masking, and the internalized stigma that accompanies late identification. Earn 1.5 APA and NBCC-approved CE hours (available live or via recorded independent study) by registering at neurodiversity.university or clicking here. Dr. Lori Desautels is an educator, researcher, and professor of Applied Educational Neuroscience at Butler University, where she teaches graduate students and advances research connecting brain science to classroom practice. Her work centers on trauma-accommodating, neurodiversity-affirming frameworks that support both educators and students. Dr. Desautels is the author of several books, including her newest manual, Body and Brain Brilliance, which outlines the four pillars of the Applied Educational Neuroscience framework. Her approach provides Tier One strategies that integrate regulation, relationship, and brain-based practices to foster environments where adults, children, and youth can thrive. BACKGROUND READING Lori's website, Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn The Neurodiversity Podcast is on Facebook, Instagram, BlueSky, and you're invited to join our Facebook Group. For more information go to www.NeurodiversityPodcast.com. If you'd like members of your organization, school district, or company to know more about the subjects discussed on our podcast, Emily Kircher-Morris provides keynote addresses, workshops, and training sessions worldwide, in-person or virtually. You can choose from a list of established presentations, or work with Emily to develop a custom talk to fit your unique situation. To learn more, visit our website.