The Secret to Happiness: How to Feel Loved with Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky episode artwork

EPISODE · Jun 22, 2026 · 1H 14M

The Secret to Happiness: How to Feel Loved with Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky

from Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson · host Rick Hanson, Ph.D., Forrest Hanson

Forrest is joined by one of the world's leading happiness researchers, Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky, to discuss the real secret to happiness: feeling loved. Dr. Lyubomirsky explains the key difference between being loved and feeling loved, why self-improvement (usually) isn’t the answer, and how giving love leads to getting love. They then walk through five mindsets that help people both get more love and feel more loved. Other topics include the vulnerability paradox, capitalization and the importance of enthusiasm, using the mindsets to evaluate our relationships, polyamory and non-monogamous love, and AI companions. You can find Sonja's diagnostic quiz at howtofeelloved.com  About our Guest: Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky is a Professor of Psychology at UC Riverside, and the author of a number of bestselling books including How to Feel Loved with Dr. Harry Reis. She is one of the most frequently cited well-being researchers in the world. Key Topics: 0:00: Intro: connection as the key to happiness 2:31: The difference between being loved and feeling loved 6:58: What love is 9:09: If only beliefs and the vulnerability paradox 19:36: Mindsets to embrace if you're looking for more love and connection 23:26: The relationship “sea”saw 31:44: Five mindsets to embrace if you want to feel more loved 51:51: AI companionship, polyamory, and MDMA 1:08:03: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Visit Rula.com/BEINGWELL to find affordable, high-quality therapy that’s actually covered by insurance.  Level up your bedding with Quince. Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forrest is joined by one of the world's leading happiness researchers, Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky, to discuss the real secret to happiness: feeling loved. Dr. Lyubomirsky explains the key difference between being loved and feeling loved, why self-improvement (usually) isn’t the answer, and how giving love leads to getting love. They then walk through five mindsets that help people both get more love and feel more loved. Other topics include the vulnerability paradox, capitalization and the importance of enthusiasm, using the mindsets to evaluate our relationships, polyamory and non-monogamous love, and AI companions. You can find Sonja's diagnostic quiz at howtofeelloved.com  About our Guest: Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky is a Professor of Psychology at UC Riverside, and the author of a number of bestselling books including How to Feel Loved with Dr. Harry Reis. She is one of the most frequently cited well-being researchers in the world. Key Topics: 0:00: Intro: connection as the key to happiness 2:31: The difference between being loved and feeling loved 6:58: What love is 9:09: If only beliefs and the vulnerability paradox 19:36: Mindsets to embrace if you're looking for more love and connection 23:26: The relationship “sea”saw 31:44: Five mindsets to embrace if you want to feel more loved 51:51: AI companionship, polyamory, and MDMA 1:08:03: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Visit Rula.com/BEINGWELL to find affordable, high-quality therapy that’s actually covered by insurance.  Level up your bedding with Quince. Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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The Secret to Happiness: How to Feel Loved with Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky

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This episode is 1 hour and 14 minutes long.

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This episode was published on June 22, 2026.

What is this episode about?

Forrest is joined by one of the world's leading happiness researchers, Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky, to discuss the real secret to happiness: feeling loved. Dr. Lyubomirsky explains the key difference between being loved and feeling loved, why...

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