The Secrets Behind Hot Scenes: An Intimacy Coordinator Spills the Tea

Send us Fan MailWhat really happens behind the scenes of sex scenes in Hollywood? This week on Slut in Training, we sit down with Los Angeles–based Intimacy Coordinator Olivia Ku to break down how your favorite on-screen hookups are choreographed, negotiated, and safely executed.From working with actors on set to navigating consent, boundaries, and communication, Olivia shares how she got started after witnessing a lack of preparation for intimate scenes early in her acting career—and how that led her to support performers through trauma-informed practices and professional intimacy coordination.We get into the full process of filming a “steamy” scene, what’s actually in an intimacy kit, how modesty garments and barriers work, and the surprising (and sometimes ridiculous) realities of choreographing everything from kissing rules (tongue or no tongue) to simulated sex scenes.We also talk about:The rise of vertical dramas and short-form romance contentCommon misconceptions about intimacy coordinators (hint: not the “sex police”)The most awkward, unsexy, and bizarre moments on setHow directors, actors, and coordinators collaborateAnd how to bring cinematic-level communication and consent into your own sex lifeIf you’ve ever wondered how actors film sex scenes, what goes into intimacy coordination, or how to create better communication and chemistry in relationships—this episode pulls back the curtain in the most entertaining way possible.Enjoy!Slut in Training: Saving One Bedroom at a Time.Join us, learn, and listen about sexual health, couples, women, female issues, dating, viral skincare, and improving sexual confidence.+ Subscribe for bi-monthly episodes.+ Follow the show so you don't miss episodes on YouTube, Apple, and Spotify.Timestamps - Episode Highlights0:00 – Welcome to the show: Slutty word of the episode – Tallahassee Night Train2:06 – Olivia Ku introduction – Los Angeles based Intimacy Coordinator3:46 – How Olivia got started:- A young actor on TNT - “1000 Ways to Die” – asked to make out in a scenewithout any advance discussion- Social media influencer in health and wellness space- Supporting survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault6:33 – A lot of BDSM stories are happening now in the vertical world7:53 – SAG has a list of accredited Intimacy Coordinating training organizations8:04 – What is it like to be on set for a very steaming scene?9:35 – Olivia can’t tell actors what they need – she’s here to listen to what each actor needs10:40 – Olivia’s involvement also depends on the Director’s approach11:53 – What’s in a full intimacy kit!12:09 – What goes into the process of creating an intimacy scene15:20 – Verticals – 60 second Soap-opera like dramas to watch on your cell phone17:26 – Tell us about Modesty Garments19:10 – Weirdest object Olivia used on set as a modesty barrier20:28 – Do actors ever get too into the role? Tongue versus no tongue kissing!22:41 – Have you ever had to coach a sex scene that was painfully unsexy?24:16 – Most ridiculous locations - from mansions to up against a bookshelf25:48 – Awkwardness of choreographing simulated Oral Sex scenes27:45 – Best choreographed oral sex scene – Bridgerton27:53 – Favorite intimacy sex scene in a movie – Titanic30:29 – Olivia would love to do more work in the Young Adult space and why!33:33 – What actors should know before they start filming a sex or intimacy scene35:32 – Common misconceptions about intimacy coordinators:- Not the sex police OR HR!- She is there for everyone – not just the lead actors- Specific inSupport the show