The Self-Care Lie Nobody's Talking About

In this episode of Stress Less Live More, Baz and Loz unpack the common misconceptions around self-care and challenge the idea that it has to look soft, slow, indulgent or Instagram-worthy. They explore how self-care is often reduced to baths, candles, spa days or “Self-Care Sunday”, when in reality it should be seen as essential maintenance for the body, mind, energy and nervous system.The conversation reframes self-care as something personal, practical and sometimes even challenging. Baz shares that self-care for him can look like running, mountain biking, being in nature or sitting by a tree, while Loz talks about prayer, meditation, jigsaw puzzles, music and CrossFit. Together, they encourage listeners to stop asking what self-care “should” look like and instead ask: what is draining me, what am I avoiding, what boundaries protect my energy, and when did I last feel off duty?Why self-care has become performativeThe problem with “Self-Care Sunday”Why self-care is not always soft or relaxingSelf-care as essential maintenanceWhy rest should not be treated as a rewardThe difference between true self-care and “festering”How TV, scrolling and news can drain your energyWhy self-care can feel selfish, especially for parents and leadersNervous system regulation and coming back to balanceQuestions to help listeners define what self-care looks like for themUseful reflection questions from the episode:What is draining me right now?What am I avoiding?What boundaries would protect my energy?Where am I confusing urgency with importance?When did I last feel off duty?00:00 — Intro: What Do You Picture When You Hear Self-Care?01:07 — Why Self-Care Has Become a Buzzword02:13 — Misconception 1: Self-Care Is Soft04:28 — Self-Care as Essential Maintenance05:13 — Misconception 2: Self-Care Is a Reward06:14 — Moving the Goalposts on Rest07:25 — Real-Life Example: Housework Before Rest09:11 — Misconception 3: Self-Care Means Doing Less10:41 — Is Binge-Watching Really Self-Care?11:10 — What Are You Feeding Your Mind With?13:15 — Misconception 4: Self-Care Is Selfish14:35 — Why Being “Selfish” Can Help You Be More Selfless15:28 — Self-Care and Nervous System Regulation17:17 — Reframing Self-Care With Better Questions18:15 — Boundaries, Energy and Feeling Off Duty19:37 — Making Self-Care Personal and Real20:23 — Baz and Loz Share Their Own Self-Care Practices21:17 — Final Reminder: You’ve Got One Life, Live It