THE SELF CARE QUEEN + BODY WORSHIP

I have been dubbed the self care queen by a few friends on separate occasions.I am a classic Taurus sun. I love luxury and comfort. I love sensual experiences. Experiences that ask us to deepen into the senses and participate with and in the body. The ultimate picture of my ideal experience is: eating a raspberry chocolate mousse in a beautiful California king bed, with high thread count Egyptian cotton sheets while wearing a plush organic robe, after having a long hot bath followed by mind blowing sex. I want it all. Good food.Massages.Dancing.Facials.Deeply satisfying and pleasurable sex.Long hot showers and baths. Essential oils.Flowers.Multiple step skin care routines.And, on one level, who doesn’t want this?But the difference between me and the person who says, “well yeah! That sounds nice, but when does that happen in real life?” is that I actually make sure these experiences happen for myself regularly because I deeply value them.I spend a large portion of my days lathering my physical self with care. It is a priority. And I expend the energy and time learning, gathering information, and studying my options for products, caregivers, practitioners, and modalities.I value these experiences. I value my body. I cherish Her. I participate deeply in her well being. From the food that I eat and how it’s procured, stored, cooked, presented and eaten. The clothes that I wear. They must be soft, stretchy and comfortable. I love jewelry and adornment. From the supplements I take to the facial moisturizer I use. It’s all intentional and high quality.My daily practices are all about making myself feel luxuriated upon, even if it’s just the simple two min gua sha facial massage routine I do before bed. I, admittedly, have inborn gifts around this ability to self care and a deep desire to participate in my well being. And still, most of my life I was made to think these gifts were just “expensive” tastes and that I was extravagant, selfish and over-the-top.And there is a way that without truly being aligned with the deep value and rightness of these self care practices, they may tip into hedonism or entitled pleasure-chasing.There is a way we must be willing to participate in the self care that allows it to be more than just over indulging.I’ll give you a recent example.About a month ago I got the intuitive to nudge to go “no poo” with my hair. No poo meaning I stop using any shampoo, conditioner, or conventional hair products and instead use a combination of apple cider vinegar, water, rhassoul clay, herbal infusions, herb based hydrasols, scalp massage and brushing for my hair cleansing and care needs.I was honestly kind of annoyed by the nudge. I was like, “Ugh! Seriously, universe?! That’s so random. And it sounds like a ton of work and time I don’t have.” But I started looking for resources and I found @airellemartinez and her no poo guide. I begrudgingly started the process of going no poo. Quickly, I started to see how the process is actually quite delightful and exactly the type of luxury I find most fulfilling. Going no poo creates more ritual in the care of my hair. It requires a little bit more participation than just washing my hair with shampoo and conditioner I bought at a store. I know and buy all the ingredients for no poo separately. They are simple, whole food ingredients, no big chemical sounding words made in a factory by strangers in a foreign land. Going no poo allows me to really understand all the ingredients I’m putting on my body and hair and have a relationship with them. Going no poo requires 2-3 months of transition, so that the natural oils can work their way down the entire hair strand and your scalp pH can regulate after the years of detergent based cleansers. Right now, my hair looks and feels pretty gross. And so, there is a commitment to the process involved, just like every other type of true self care.There needs to be some erectness, some willingness to create a new habit, try a new thing, make mistakes, maybe look stupid. Commitment and surrender are involved in consistent participation in your well being. And this is where hedonism and the type of prioritized self care I practice become very, very different. Unbridled pleasure-seeking doesn’t require any true commitment. It’s just doing whatever feels good. It’s eating the whole chocolate cake. It’s consumption focused. Where as prioritizing well-being is participation focused. There is a give and a take.People tend to associate luxury with a big price tag. But in my experience, and I’ve had high price tag luxury experiences, it’s actually about how we participate and how deeply we let ourselves enjoy the experience that creates an experience of true luxury.I’ve had the some of the most luxurious experiences in my own home. Giving myself and my body space, time and intention. Sometimes, making an appointment, driving to the spa, paying for the spa, and parking at the spa etc is actually more stressful than just creating a home made self care experience. Dry brushing my skin. Giving myself a massage with jojoba oil. Soaking in a long salt bath. Lounging in bed. Napping in the middle of day with full permission. As much as people talk about how important self care is; most are unwilling to truly give themself the experience of letting their physical body be worshipped by themselves. This is how I have started to relate to the type of self care I do: as body worship. It is all fueled by a deep reverence for my being; an honoring of myself.I worship this magical bunch cells, muscle, tissue, bone and blood that carries me throughout the world. I give them space. And when they speak to me through symptoms, I do not get victimized or repress them, I listen and act accordingly.I will not override my needs or desires. I will spend time, energy, effort and financial resources on myself and my family’s health. I will not outsource my healing or health. Because it is my most imperative resource.It is a revolutionary act to care for ourselves this deeply and with such devotion. To be in awe of what our bodies give back to us on a daily basis. In my work, I serve the divine union between the feminine and masculine. But the truth is the feminine is what needs exalting in a most cases.Our physical body is Feminine. She is our mother earth. The pus, guts, bodily fluids, pee and excrement and the beauty of the swivel of hips or curve of a breast. Symptoms are the way the feminine communicates with us, the aches, pain, nausea, and symptoms. One place where we can bring balance into our own lives is to start to honor our physical form. To allow our form to guide and direct us through its communications of feelings, pings, intuition, and symptoms. To give ourselves space to properly feel these things without filtering them through the mind. This is the work I do and part of the medicine I bring to all of my containers. There are currently 3 Ways to Work with Me:* HOME BODY sessions | one hour with me guiding you into your body as your home + 15 minutes of digestion $222 | Message me to book.* 1:1 Alchemical Journey | 12 months with with guiding you to connect to your most resourced self during big life transitions eg divorce, motherhood, death, etc. | Message me to book a free connection call about this.* 1:1 Nourishment Deep Dive | a 90-min 1:1 session with me where we will go over your health history, current eating habits, symptoms, and health goals and I will come up with a personalized plan for you to implement. You have to be ready to really make some changes to your diet and lifestyle. | $444, Message me to apply. | There will be an option for one or two follow up sessions to tweak things or answer questions, after this as needed.* If you are interested in joining FED for the next round starting in 2023. Just hit reply and let me know and I’ll keep you on a list to be the first to know when applications are open again. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit clarabelize.substack.com/subscribe