Ep 32 - "The Shame Isn't Yours To Carry": Chioma Alade On Surviving Sexual Abuse In The Church

What happens when the place you ran to for safety becomes the source of your greatest harm?In Episode 32 of Speak Shame, Dr Connie Kerali is joined by Chioma Alade, UK clergy, cult and sexual abuse specialist, and founder of By Fourteen. Chioma grew up in an abusive home and found what she believed was safety in the church, only to be groomed and sexually abused by her Sunday school teacher for over a decade. She didn't recognise it as abuse until she was 30.In this powerful conversation, Chioma opens up about the culture of shame that kept her silent, the grooming tactics predators use within faith communities, what radical acceptance really feels like, and the long road to healing, including the medical consequences of abuse that nobody talks about. She also shares how her late diagnosis of Ehlers Danlos syndrome added another layer of complexity to her journey, and why she founded By Fourteen: to help every child identify a predator before the age of 14.This episode is for anyone who has ever been silenced by shame, let down by an institution they trusted, or told that what happened to them was their fault. The shame was never yours to carry.Topics covered: church sexual abuse, grooming, coercive control, cult abuse, shame and religion, faith communities and safeguarding, Ehlers Danlos syndrome, invisible disability, healing from trauma, predator awareness, By Fourteen, Black British women, Nigerian culture and shame📲 Connect with Chioma: Instagram @ChiomaAlade and @ByFourteenOrg.If you have been affected by this story, you can seek support at charities such as Rape Crisis, Hersana, Secrets Worth Sharing, or Surviving Universal UK. 02:44 Chapter One: Potential03:50 Childhood Abuse And Church06:33 Realising It Was Abuse07:53 Fury And Dismantling A Cult09:13 Radical Acceptance And Recovery10:39 Medical Impact And Regulation13:01 Speaking Out And Training15:43 Culture Of Shame In Faith17:38 Advice To Survivors19:03 Ehlers Danlos Diagnosis20:41 By Fourteen And Disability Advocacy22:43 Healing Takeaways And Resources24:44 NHS Pathways For Survivors26:46 Remarkable Women Inspirations29:06 Closing And Where To ConnectGET IN TOUCHJoin the community:@StoriesWithoutShame on InstagramSign up for the Stories Without Shame newsletter to join the movement.