The “Slaving for Love” Paradox: Why You’re Sabotaging Your Own Purpose

Dr. Colli Christanti explores the hidden, inherited patterns that make us perform for approval, slaving for love'—and how these subconscious loyalties can harm our health and sense of self. She shares her own journey through chronic illness and recovery, explaining that true healing begins by returning to yourself, breaking old roles, and reclaiming genuine purpose and freedom. Slaving for Love We like to think we are pursuing our purpose, but are we actually just performing for approval? In this episode, I dive into the hidden, unconscious mechanisms of self-sabotage that keep us "slaving for love." We often spend our days performing—whether it’s for our partner, our children, or our professional life—trying to prove our worth, only to crash at night into self-destructive behaviors. This is the cycle of performing for approval, a belief system that acts like a ball and chain. In this episode, we explore: The Myth of the Role Model: The internal conflict when you are trying to hold it all together for both "Yin and Yang," often resulting in a house divided. The Origin of the Chain: Why this often starts in utero and why we continue to reenact these inherited patterns through hidden loyalties. Sovereignty Over Performance: The essential difference between performing for others and finally returning to your own life. Healing is simple - - it is we who make it complicated. The courage to stay curious, to stay childlike about who you are underneath those old loyalties, is where the real work begins. When you stop "slaving for love" and start returning to yourself, you find freedom. And that is where your life truly begins.