The Stereotype That’s Keeping You Stuck in Your Business

Intro Music: https://youtu.be/GXol_sopL-w?si=alchwgnQyOkmboOJReference Article: https://www.nprillinois.org/2025-05-06/the-benefits-of-solitude-rethinking-the-loneliness-epidemicShow TranscriptWhen we start out in business, we’re quickly sucked into a world of “how-tos” and “shoulds.” We need this because without it, we’d feel like Tom Hanks in Cast Away—lost at sea.But one of the biggest hurdles every small business owner faces at one point or another is trusting their inner voice and following what feels right for them. Building a successful business is equal parts strategy and honoring what works for you.The hard part is:a) knowing what you in your business actually looks like, andb) still finding the discipline to implement strategy without losing yourself in the process.Here’s the thing -if you want a successful business that supports your lifestyle and feels like it gives more than it takes, challenging yourself to learn how to do both is the only path forward.There’s a cultural stereotype that creatives are messy, forgetful, scatter-brained, and averse to the technical side of business. This stereotype serves no one, especially the artist.Passion, heart, and soul are beautiful pieces of creativity, but if you had your way, would you rather be Frida Kahlo—known and respected as an artist during her lifetime—or Vincent Van Gogh, only revered after his death?If you ask me, I choose the former.Recently, while deep in thought, I had this revelation: our life experience is really only for us. We come into this world alone, and we leave it alone. Eventually, our memory will fade from the world. If we spend our time fixated on external validation—twisting, contorting, and changing in ways that don’t align with our true values and desires—we’ll end up on our deathbed looking back at a life lived in superficiality.That might sound dismal, but to me it’s actually quietly inspiring and deeply liberating. It gives me permission to stop caring so much about what other people want or think is right for my life. Instead, my compass becomes: Does this feel right in my soul? Am I, more often than not, enjoying my life? Am I content?I bring this up because our business is one avenue where we get to set the terms. And I see too many people setting those terms based on a toxic culture that sees people and the world—as something to exploit for gain as the only way to exist.And when I say this, I’m talking about the obvious...wealth, power, success, but also the not-so-obvious: the toxic culture around productivity, the do-it-yourself mentality, and most notably, the expectations placed on women in motherhood.I was listening to NPR on the way home from an errand, and they had a guest speaker talking about solitude. We often talk about solitude in a negative context, but this woman studies the positive aspects of solitude. I won’t get into the nitty-gritty here, but I’ll link the conversation in the show notes if you want to listen.What stuck with me was when the interviewer said that positive solitude—taking intentional time for yourself is counter-culture. Why? Why is the idea of taking time away to do something that fuels you creatively or spiritually considered radical?In that moment, I felt affirmed. I was reminded that what I advocate for my clients and what I’m encouraging you to do is to reject the idea that you are a resource meant to be exploited. “I’m exhausted.” “I’m busy.” “My kids or my partner depend on all my time, so there’s none left for me.” This is outright bullshit fed to us by a system that benefits when we forgo our humanity.And that’s just not true.So how do we transition our business from a place of “shoulds” to “does this feel right to me?”You start by getting clear on what matters most to you as it relates to your business and your life.Do you care about creating a product with natural ingredients while also giving back to your community?Are you passionate about helping women believe in themselves and translating that into empowered, authentic brands that look and feel like them? (That’s one of mine.)Do you care about uplifting your community by employing people, paying amazing wages, and working in a way that honors their humanity?Are you deeply excited about curating experiences that create lasting memories?What lights you up most about how you do what you love is your path forward. This is the magic sauce, the missing link, when it comes to building a brand that feels like you. This is where the “shoulds” fall away and you come to the forefront. This is where you begin shaping your brand and engineering your business to support your humanity.Here’s an example. If you’re passionate about building a business that supports its community by paying amazing wages, offering healthcare, generous paid time off, and maybe even extended parental leave, what needs to be in place structurally to support that mission? And how do you need to set that example for yourself first?Words are only as good as the actions that back them up. If you don’t do it for yourself, you’re turning yourself into a martyr. We don’t need more martyrs, we need more people proving there is another way forward.I want to leave you with a reflective exercise to get your wheels turning. No, you won’t experience an immediate shift by answering these questions. But what you will do is plant seeds of possibility in your subconscious. Over time, those seeds grow into subtle changes that bring you closer to building a brand rooted in what feels right for you in whatever season of life you’re in. The questions are in the show notes.Within your answers, you’ll find nuggets of truth pointing you toward how you naturally show up, what wants to be brought forward in your branding, and how you run your business.Once you’ve answered the questions and given yourself space to internalize, not intellectualize, what comes up, the next step is action. What does this actually look like in practice?Let’s return to the example of a business committed to a life-first model for employees.Start with an audit: what’s already in place, what needs to be added, and how much permission you give yourself to participate in it.If you want to pay amazing wages but you’re not paying yourself a livable one, start there.If you want to offer four weeks of vacation but you’ve never taken that much time off or when you do, you’re still working - start there.I think you’re catching my drift. Let me know below one thing you want to implement for yourself. Or, if you’ve been on this journey already and this was just a gentle reminder - what have you been working on? Where do you rub up against resistance?Take your time with these. There are no right answers.My top three favorite colors are __________ because __________.What I love most about my job is __________.The best client I’ve ever had was __________ because __________.If I had it my way, I’d only work with people who __________.In order to do my best work for a client, my service must include __________.I feel most like myself when I’m __________.Most people say I’m __________, but what I wish more people knew about me is __________.An ideal day in my life and business would look like __________.An ideal year in my life and business would look like __________. Get full access to The Heart-Aligned Brand at moxieandmeaning.substack.com/subscribe