The Suck

This weekend, I opened up a computer file that contains old essays I wrote between 2018 and 2020. At the time I thought they were good enough to send to big publications, and I was surprised to get rejected or ignored. I read one of the essays. It was terrible. Disjointed, unclear, muddy. What I thought was good in 2018 is different than what I think is good in 2024, yes. But what surprised me is how much better I write now than I did then. I don’t know why I was surprised; I’ve been working my ass off. But in my mind I was like, wait, just doing a thing makes you generally better at doing the thing? The Dunning Kruger effect is the theory that people who are good at something judge themselves harshly, and people who lack skill or talent often overestimate their abilities. While the data behind it isn’t entirely convincing, as a theory I like it. It gives a name to something most of us have observed in ourselves and others. The terrible singer who tries out for every talent competition on one hand, and the talented painter who doesn’t even apply to art school on the other. What Dunning Kruger doesn’t address is that our understanding of our own skills can evolve over time. Because our skills can evolve over time. What’s the thing you want to do, the thing you think you’re good at or could be good at, the thing that gives you joy, the dream that won’t quit? Get full access to Fierce Grace at speirolo.substack.com/subscribe