THE THINGS THAT UNITE US!

By Wayne Goldsmith Three important messages: * Facilities, money and equipment get named as sports’ biggest obstacles. Your real constraint is invisible. * The biggest problems I see in sport are personality conflicts and petty political squabbles. * The things that unite us are greater than the things that divide us. It’s one line, and it works in every country I’ve used it. Ask anyone in sport what their sport needs to be bigger, better, more successful and you’ll get the same three answers. * Facilities. * Money. * Equipment. I understand why. You can see them. You can price them. You can put them in a grant application. If we had a bigger pool, we’d have more swimmers and the club would thrive. If we had a new grandstand, a new weights room and new change rooms - we’d have more players and better players. Colleagues, in most cases those are not your real issues. The Real Constraint: things you cannot put in a grant application: The biggest problems I see in sport, anywhere in the world, are personality conflicts and petty political squabbles. You know exactly the sort of thing I mean. Two people who don’t like each other and don’t speak and who quietly put obstacles in each other’s way. Club A hates Club B for a reason that neither Club A nor Club B can actually remember. The coaches never collaborate or even acknowledge each other at competitions. A state won’t deal with the national body. The national body won’t communicate with the state. Two states won’t work with each other. I’ve seen every one of those, on every continent I’ve worked on. Ireland: the hardest room I’ve been asked to bring together: A few years ago I was in Ireland and I was asked by the GAA to bring their clubs, their parishes and their regions together to talk about how they could work collaboratively in the interest of the sport. It was always going to be a tough ask. There are some very deep historical and very passionately held reasons why some adjoining parishes and counties don’t get on. But it’s not an Irish problem. I’ve seen the same thing in Australia. In Canada. In New Zealand. In England. People decide, for whatever reason, that their petty politics and their personality conflicts matter more than the things that actually matter in sport. One Line: what I use to get them in the same direction: So how do you get a room full of people who don’t like each other to work together? I use one line: The things that unite us are greater than the things that divide us. Then I make them do the work. Don’t tell me why you don’t like them. Don’t tell me what she said one day, or what he didn’t do, or what happened in 1997. That’s rubbish. Tell me what unites you. Rugby: what the list actually looks like: Take rugby. What unites everyone connected to the game? * We love the game. * We want every kid in the country playing it. * We want them to learn to be skilful. * We want them to fall in love with the experience of it. * We want them still playing in their fifties. * We want them bringing their kids back. And their grandkids. * We want them to get everything out of this game that we got out of it. That’s the list of what unites them. And the “divides us” list? “We don’t like you.” Put those two lists side by side and the argument is over. Honesty: you don’t have to become friends: Let me be clear about what I’m not asking for. We may never come together and buy each other a beer. We may never go to each other’s weddings. We may never go to each other’s birthday parties. And that is completely fine. Collaboration is not friendship. You don’t have to like someone to want the same thing for the sport you both gave your life to. Summary: Sport around the world is in crisis mode right now. Participation is falling. Retention through the early and mid teens is a serious problem. Finding and keeping coaches, officials and volunteers is genuinely difficult. The cost of sport keeps climbing. And if we’re still fighting among ourselves through all of that, it’s like throwing punches with one hand while hitting yourself in the head with the other hand. You cannot present the sport you love in a positive light while you’re beating up people inside it who share your values and your love of the game. It just doesn’t work. Those petty political issues don’t only fail to help. They’re a constraint. They’re actively getting in the way of the experience you say you want to provide for kids and families. The things that unite you are greater - much, much greater - than the things that divide you. Three Practical Applications For Your Coaching: * Name the club, region or body you don’t get on with - then write down why. Actually write it down. Most people get halfway through the sentence and realise they can’t remember the original grievance. * Now write the “unite” list. What do you both want for the kids in your sport? Put the two lists side by side on the same page. That’s the whole exercise and it takes about ten minutes. * Start with one shared thing, not a merger. A joint coach education night. A combined come-and-try day. One thing you do together that neither of you could do alone. Collaboration is built on a result not on a reconciliation. Thanks for reading, listening and watching. Wayne Wayne works with federations, states, regions and clubs on bringing fractured sporting communities back together - the work that doesn’t fit in a grant application. [email protected] Further reading: The Coaching Course Sport Needs Now - https://coachwayne.gumroad.com/l/coachingcoursenow. For sporting parents: Raising Athletes - https://coachwayne.gumroad.com/l/raisingathletes This is a public episode. 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