The Thinking That's Ruining Your Life: Perfectionism, Overthinking and Self-Doubt Ep: 139

Perfectionism, overthinking, control, self-doubt and stress are not personality traits. They are automatic thinking patterns...and patterns can be changed.In this episode, I’m introducing CHOOSE, my signature six-week mental fitness training programme, and explaining how you can stop allowing unconscious thinking to run your decisions, relationships, performance and life.What this episode is aboutMost people believe they are the sum of everything that has happened to them. Where they were born. What happened at school. The relationship that ended. The promotion they received. The job they lost. The parent who died.But your life is not determined by what happens to you.It is determined by the choices you make in response to what happens.Many of those choices feel automatic, because they are. You have quite literally practised them for years.In this episode, I explain why patterns such as perfectionism, control, overthinking, hyper-achievement, people-pleasing and hypervigilance are not who you are. They are forms of automatic thinking that I call noise.I share how unchecked noise can sabotage your performance, damage your relationships, destroy your peace and make even significant achievements feel as though they are never enough.I also introduce the three skills that make up mental fitness:Turning down noise.Turning up signal.Choosing to switch from one to the other in real time.These three skills form the foundation of CHOOSE, my signature six-week mental fitness training programme.Why this mattersYou can be highly capable, ambitious and successful while still having an untrained mind working against you.You can achieve your goals and immediately move the goalposts.You can know what would improve your wellbeing: sleeping more, drinking less, reducing sugar, stopping scrolling...and still not do it.You can replay conversations, overanalyse simple decisions, carry problems that are not yours and keep waiting for the next achievement before allowing yourself to breathe.These experiences are not character flaws. They are patterns. Once you can recognise them, you can begin to choose differently.Your first thought is automatic. But your second thought is a choice.When you train your ability to make that choice under pressure, choosing stops being something you hope you will do.It becomes a habit.For more details DM me [email protected] on IGKaya Ramjee on LinkedInYou can find out more about working with me at www.kayaramjee.com