The Thoughts You're Too Scared to Say Out Loud — Birth Trauma, Intrusive Thoughts & Postpartum Mental Health with DR. VANESSA KOMAREK (@heavy_lifting_psychologist)

Send us Fan MailThere's a thought a lot of moms have had and almost none of them have said out loud. Maybe it was an image of dropping the baby. Maybe it was something worse. And the second it showed up, the next thought was: what is wrong with me?Dr. Vanessa Komarek is a psychologist who specializes in trauma and PTSD recovery, a powerlifter, and a mom of two under two. She came on to talk about mental load and we ended up somewhere much more honest: birth trauma, intrusive thoughts, and why so much well-meaning postpartum advice lands flat.🔹 What mental load actually is (the cognitive part and the emotional part nobody names) 🔹 What "birth trauma" includes, and why it's broader than most people think 🔹 What's a normal reaction after a hard delivery, and the signals that it's worth reaching out 🔹 Intrusive thoughts: what they are, why fighting them backfires, and what actually helps 🔹 Why "sleep when the baby sleeps" and "take time for yourself" fall flat for so many women 🔹 The trade-offs nobody admits are baked into "balance" 🔹 All-or-nothing thinking, exercise snacks, and Vanessa's phrase for it: embracing messy action 🔹 The pelvic health parallel: what happens when the brain decides the body is fragileThis one is worth your time whether you're in it right now or 15 years past it. And if any of it lands a little too close, that's information, not a verdict.Resources mentioned: Postpartum Support International: postpartum.net · HelpLine 1-800-944-4773 (call or text) · free online support groups and a provider directory If you are in crisis in the US, call or text 988. Find Vanessa on Instagram: @heavy_lifting_psychologistThis podcast is for education and is not medical advice. Please loop in your own provider.Time Stamps0:00 introduction6:07 talking about mental load9:48 what got Vanessa into psychology12:55 helping moms deal with trauma and expectations19:55 ignoring the bad advice23:48 the athlete identity28:17 balance is a myth35:58 helping moms overcome perfectionism37:41 what she has learned in her journey45:19 being an active momCONNECT WITH CARRIEIG: https://www.instagram.com/carriepagliano/Website: https://carriepagliano.comCourse waitlist: https://course.carriepagliano.com/RSAWLR2R Screen: https://course.carriepagliano.com/R2RreadyscreenCONNECT WITH VANESSA:IG: https://www.instagram.com/heavy_lifting_psychologist/Website: www.adaptpsych.orgThe Active Mom Podcast — a real mom's guide to pregnancy, postpartum, perimenopause & beyond, for active moms and the professionals who help them get there.Quick-hit conversations with moms, providers, and researchers... because you don't have a lot of free time (you're probably listening at 1.5x right now).Follow so you don't miss an episode. Rate & review ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ — it's how the next mom searching for these answers actually finds them. Share it with the friend who needs it.Questions or topic requests? DM me 💌