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EPISODE · Nov 13, 2025 · 22 MIN

the unhappy woman: against the cult of calm

from back from the borderline

Your unhappiness is sacred data.The woman who refuses to smile has been treated as a problem for millennia. Ancient Greeks blamed her wandering womb. Victorians diagnosed her with hysteria. The 1950s prescribed tranquilizers as "mother's little helper." Every era finds its own brand new language for the same mandate: women must be calm. The happiness imperative functions as social control. "Lean In" feminism and tradwife fantasies are both performances that erase actual feminine rhythms. Meanwhile, the “feminist killjoy” (i.e., the one who won't laugh at the sexist joke) might be the sanest person in the room.Your anger typically carries with it information about external injustice. Told to calm down? Tried to “manifest” your way out of legitimate and justified rage? Achieved everything and still felt empty inside? Your unrest is trying to tell you something. Shared misery can become a kind of solidarity. Refusing to perform okay-ness is the first act of freedom.✧ WANT THE FULL EPISODE? ✧Every week, I share these extended episodes on Patreon. If what you’ve heard here has helped or intrigued you, the full version is where the real magic happens. Your support keeps my work independent and ad-light. Support from my Patrons is how I fund my life and make sure what I do stays honest, unfiltered, and as listener-powered as possible. Head to patreon.com/backfromtheborderline to sign up today. Search the episode title and keep listening.(Tip for iPhone users: sign up through Safari or Chrome to skip Apple’s extra fees.)Topics: women's mental health, feminist theory, happiness culture critique, psychiatric history, self-help industry, Audre Lorde, Sara Ahmed, female anger, emotional labor, wellness industrial complex, consciousness raising Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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