The Unicorn Might Have Rabies: How Anxiety Keeps You "Safe" - Live Q&A

What do you do when you finally have language for your in-law's emotional immaturity (or dare I say narcissistic behaviors) — and your spouse, the one who grew up with it, doesn't see it yet. Do you tell them? Do you go directly to your in-law? In his first live Q&A in a year, Tony takes on one of the most painful positions a partner can be in: watching your spouse work so hard to please a parent who rarely lets them feel enough, while any observation you offer lands like an attack. Tony explains why that reaction makes sense — recognizing a parent's narcissistic traits means asking someone to re-examine decades of memories they had filed under love — and why the instinct to hand them the word "narcissist" tends to close the door rather than open it. EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS: Recognize why your spouse may defend a parent's behavior they privately struggle with — the need to belong to our family of origin runs deep, and it's less denial than protection. Distinguish narcissistic traits from NPD, and why emotional immaturity is often the more accurate and more workable place to start. Name the gaslighting pattern of "that isn't what happened" and understand what it does to your sense of reality over time. Learn why the most caring move is often patience with your spouse's timeline rather than presenting the evidence. Hear a listener share how the Death by a Thousand Cuts series gave her the courage to finally leave — with the 12th installment on its way. Tony Overbay is a licensed marriage and family therapist with over 20 years of experience and a certification in treating betrayal trauma. If you didn't get your question answered live, email it to [email protected] — Tony is answering listener questions first in upcoming sessions. Please follow Tony on Instagram @virtual.couch on Tiktok @virtualcouch on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/tonyoverbaylmft and on Substack https://thevirtualcouch.substack.com/ You can reach out to Tony through his website tonyoverbay.com or by emailing contact @ tonyoverbay.com