The Update (LIRR Strike Day 4)- May 19th

In today’s edition of The Update Journal, we ask an important question: if the self checkout says “CARD ONLY” in letters large enough to be seen from space… why are people still standing in the human cashier lane paying with Apple Pay like they just cracked the Da Vinci Code?Meanwhile, the universe itself is apparently hanging on by a thread after Stuart from The Big Bang Theory gets access to multiverse technology. Because of course the fate of existence would somehow end up in the hands of the man who could barely keep a comic book store open during normal reality.And in today’s Honorable Mention, we dive into the bizarre habits of the ultra-wealthy — including stories so out-of-touch they make regular people sound like survival experts. Nothing humbles you faster than learning there are millionaires who apparently don’t know how to use a washing machine, pump gas, or locate a grocery store without a staff meeting.It’s confusion at the checkout line, confusion across dimensions, and confusion from people with entirely too much money — which honestly feels like the perfect summary of modern society.In the headlines on #TheUpdate this Tuesday, commuters in New York City’s suburbs had to navigate a gauntlet of car, bus and subway routes to get to and from work, with a labor strike shutting down the Long Island Rail Road, the busiest commuter rail system in the country. Meanwhile, Die-hard Knicks fans on Long Island who were psyched up for the hometown hoopsters in the NBA Eastern Conference Finals this week are being forced to stay home or shell out big bucks — thanks to the Long Island Rail Road strike that has grounded thousands.A gun and notebook that prosecutors say link Luigi Mangione to the killing of UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson can be used as evidence at his murder trial, a judge ruled, rejecting a defense argument that they were seized illegally.And out in the American West, two teenage shooters opened fire at a San Diego mosque and killed three men before killing themselves a few blocks away, police said. The attack at the Islamic Center of San Diego is being investigated as a hate crime, San Diego Police Chief Scott Wahl said at a news conference at a neighborhood park across from the mosque.