The Update- May 11th

In today’s edition of The Update Journal… Heinz decided mayonnaise needed a passport and sent it on a full international vacation exclusively through Walmart, because apparently regular mayo just wasn’t cultured enough anymore. From Japanese-inspired Ginger Sesame to Hawaiian Tropical Teriyaki, we try to figure out when condiments became exchange students.Then… Saturday morning took a hard left turn when a routine viewing of NCIS somehow led to a promo for This Is Poly on WE tv… resulting in one very important question being yelled at the television: “What the f*ck am I watching?”And finally, after the mayo confusion and reality TV emotional whiplash, we slow things down for a post-Mother's Day tribute — for Mom, for every mom, for the women who held everything together when nobody realized how much they were carrying, and for those we miss a little extra this time of year.So basically: international condiments, television-induced confusion, and feelings. Just another normal edition of The Update Journal.In the headlines on #TheUpdate this Monday, An NYC commuter narrowly dodged death in the tunnel under the Bridge Apartments when he was suddenly confronted by a massive piece of falling debris.The maniac accused of pushing a 76-year-old man down a flight of Manhattan subway stairs to his death appeared in an NYC court just hours after the heinous attack — and strolled out, because no one realized he was the killer.And passengers evacuated from the hantavirus-hit cruise ship began flying home aboard military and government planes after the vessel anchored in the Canary Islands, where travelers were escorted to shore by personnel in full-body protective gear and breathing masks.