The War Within: Transforming Aggression into a Pure Heart - Mary Stares episode artwork

EPISODE · Mar 1, 2026 · 54 MIN

The War Within: Transforming Aggression into a Pure Heart - Mary Stares

from The Gay Buddhist Forum by GBF · host GBF

Onryu Mary Stares helps us understand why external peace is impossible without first addressing the "war" occurring inside—the aggression and destructive emotions within our own heart. She offers several key approaches to support this effort:Navigating the Kleshas: Mary identifies aggression as a "cold, critical, and fixed" mind and encourages practitioners to acknowledge this and other destructive emotions (pride, craving, jealousy, and ignorance) rather than skipping over themThe Wisdom of Manjushri: She uses the imagery of the bodhisattva Manjushri and his sword to illustrate how wisdom can be "cutting" and clear without being aggressive, provided it is used with a "pure heart" to perform appropriate actionsPractical Tools for Peace: A number of actionable methods for maintaining a peaceful internal posture during conflict are discussed, such as the STOP practice (Stop, Take a breath, Observe, Proceed) and Pema Chödrön’s guidance to remain "embodied, present, and kind."Transforming Personal Conflict: Through personal stories of facing workplace hostility and homophobic harassment, Mary demonstrates how meeting aggression with awareness and sadness—rather than counter-aggression—can prevent the creation of negative karma and lead toward wholeness and relationship______________Onryu Mary Stares first arrived at Tassajara in the summer of 2000, following a period of residential practice at Gampo Abbey in Nova Scotia, Canada. After a number of years of coming and going she requested priest ordination and with that request committed to live and work in residence at San Francisco Zen Center for a number of years. Mary has lived and practiced at all three of the SFZC temples and has lived in a number of other Buddhist communities since 1999. A carpenter by trade, Mary was ordained as a Zen priest in 2010 by Arlene Lueck and Myogen Steve Stücky. Mary was Shuso (Head Student) for the Winter 2015 Practice Period at Tassajara. She most recently served as Director of City Center and is currently Tanto (Head of Practice) at City Center. ______________  To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/There you can:   Donate  Learn how to participate live  Find our schedule of upcoming speakers  Join our mailing list or discussion forum Enjoy over 900 recorded talks dating back to 1995CREDITSAudio Production: George HubbardProducer: Tom BrueinMusic/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

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Onryu Mary Stares helps us understand why external peace is impossible without first addressing the "war" occurring inside—the aggression and destructive emotions within our own heart. She offers several key approaches to support this effort: Navigating the Kleshas: Mary identifies aggression as a "cold, critical, and fixed" mind and encourages practitioners to acknowledge this and other destructive emotions (pride, craving, jealousy, and ignorance) rather than skipping over themThe Wisdom of...

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The War Within: Transforming Aggression into a Pure Heart - Mary Stares

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