The Worst Day Ever

Episode Title: The Worst Day EverThis episode is difficult. It was difficult to live through, and it is difficult to tell.“The Worst Day Ever” is the story of the day my husband died.It is the story of stubbornness, love, denial, ambulances, yellow skin, blood pressure monitors, socks clutched like security blankets, conference rooms with blue carpet, and two words no one ever wants to hear: “He’s gone.”This is not a polished grief story.This is what shock sounds like.This is what cardiac arrest looks like from the wife’s perspective.This is what it feels like when your heart breaks in real time.There are no neat stages of grief here.There is screaming in a hospital hallway.There is a funeral in a forest.There are 153 people who showed up for a man who thought he wasn’t loved.There is anger at alcohol at a wake for someone who died from alcoholism.There is love. There is disgust. There is disbelief. There is devastation.This episode is raw.It is part of my path through grief — and part of my healing.If you want the aftershocks, the unraveling, the rebuilding — watch the videos titled My Narrative.This was the worst day ever.And I survived it.Chin Up. Tits Out.