There can only be one (Crab Mentality)

When a crab in a bucket tries to escape, other crabs instinctively try to drag it back down. All the crabs can easily escape from the bucket, but instead, they grab and pull down each other in a competitive manner, preventing any of them from escaping. The motto associated with this mentality is, “if I can’t have it, neither can you”. Signs of Crab Mentality Immediately offering unwanted criticism/negative comments after someone is successful Inability to offer praise or congratulations in response to someone else’s success Lack of compassion when others are struggling Feeling threatened when others are growing and achieving their goals Gossiping about someone’s mistakes or failures to others Feelings of envy or hostility, wishing ill will on others Why do crabs hold each other back? Psychology today says, Crabs did not evolve in buckets. They evolved on seashores, where clinging to others promoted survival. A crab is not consciously trying to hold back its mates. It is not consciously trying to save them either. It is just repeating a behavior that was naturally selected for. But what happens when this point of view is reflective of the one that makes it ? Why does the motto generally become a “there can only be one” instead of “all of us can help each other come up together?” When one of us becomes successful? Why Successful People Leave Their Loser Friends Behind 1. Unsuccessful Friends Make it Impossible to reach your True Potential According to Sandy Nyugen, on crab mentality, We need to learn to work together and uplift each other because, truthfully, there is enough room for all of us to be successful. Crab mentality in our families and societies falsely convinces us that there are not enough resources (money, jobs, happiness, love, etc.). Letting go of the crab mentality also makes us more humble and helps us handle our losses and mistakes better. We have to learn to eliminate these toxic traits by practicing a growth mindset, appreciating our own strengths, and recognizing that others have strengths too. On the other hand, friends who question you every decision and have no desire to improve themselves, will always drag you down, making you feel worthless. Studies have proven that our personalities are primarily determined by the nature of our relationship to other people. 2. 2. Unsuccessful Friends Make You Feel a Lack of Purpose Another reason why successful people tend to dismiss adverse parties is because such an entourage can negatively impact their way of feeling about themselves. Moreover, people blighted by dramas, lack of commitment and ubiquitous comfort, will most likely try to drag down all the people around them who have ideas, visions and energy to do great things. On the other hand, hard-working & ambitious people can help you regain emotional balance and a sense of purpose.