This Is What Is Meant to Be

One of the harder challenges in life is dealing with delays and setbacks when we are convinced that something has to happen right now. A father shared the following lesson. His infant son was born with a serious heart defect that required surgery. Although the condition needed to be corrected, the doctors felt it would be better if the baby grew a little before undergoing the operation, increasing the chances of success and long-term benefit. After waiting for months, a surgery date was finally scheduled for just before Pesach. The family arrived at the hospital early in the morning and spent an exhausting day going from one test to another, preparing their baby for the long-awaited procedure that was scheduled for the following day. By the time they finally got home, physically and emotionally drained, they were focused on making all the necessary arrangements before returning to the hospital early the next morning. Then the phone rang. A hospital representative informed them that the surgery had been canceled. Another baby had been born that day with a more urgent condition and needed immediate surgery to save his life. The father couldn't believe it. After all the preparation, anticipation, and emotional build-up, everything suddenly came to a stop. But then he reminded himself that it must be for the best and Hashem knows exactly what He's doing. A new date was scheduled for after Pesach. When that date arrived, shockingly, the exact same thing happened. After another full day of testing and preparation, another cancellation because another child's condition was more urgent. This time it was much harder to accept. Frustrated and disappointed, the father went to his Rebbe for guidance. The Rebbe told him a story about Rav Shlomka of Zvhil. Once, before beginning a fast, Rav Shlomka asked his grandson to prepare a cup of tea. Although the child hurried to do so, everything seemed to go wrong. Water spilled, delays occurred, and by the time the tea was finally ready, sunset had arrived and the fast had already begun. Seeing how upset his grandson was, Rav Shlomka gently told him, "Don't be upset. This is what was meant to be." The Rebbe then repeated those words to the father. "This is what was meant to be." There were no mistakes. It was not poor planning. It was not unfortunate timing. Everything was exactly the way it was supposed to be. Those words penetrated the father's heart. A few days later, a well-known medical askan heard about the repeated cancellations and offered his assistance. He explained that he had connections and could pressure the hospital to ensure that this would never happen again. But to his own surprise, the father declined. "This is how it is meant to be," he said. "Hashem is taking care of my son. The surgery will happen when it's supposed to happen." A few days later, his sister mentioned that her neighbor had given birth to a baby with a life-threatening heart defect and the baby had been rushed into emergency surgery immediately after birth. The father asked when that surgery had taken place. It was on the very day that his own son's surgery had been canceled. Suddenly, everything became clear. He now understood how urgent the other baby's situation had been, and he was genuinely happy that his son's surgery had been postponed in order to save that child's life. Then another thought struck him. If he had used influence and pressure to move his son ahead in line, perhaps the next time a different baby's life would be hanging in the balance. Perhaps that child would be forced to wait because of his intervention. How often do we experience disappointments that seem completely unnecessary? How often do plans fall apart, appointments get canceled, opportunities disappear, and doors close just when we think they should be opening? We are only seeing a tiny fraction of the picture. What appears to us as a frustrating delay may actually be protecting someone, helping someone else, or setting in motion events that we cannot begin to understand. We assume that if something did not happen, then something must have gone wrong. But that is not the way it is. Everything always happens exactly the way it is supposed to happen. We must internalize those powerful words: "This is what is meant to be." When we live with that belief, not only do we spare ourselves so much frustration and disappointment, but we also earn tremendous reward for demonstrating our Emunah in Hashem's perfect plan, even when we cannot yet understand it.