This is Why Aliens Avoid Earth

Andy & Lenny kick things off by finally decoding last week’s cryptic note with emergency help from "Dan Rather." From there it’s a nonstop train wreck: Olympic hockey gold medals nobody can watch, why some people swear anal keeps you a virgin, a Predator who definitely doesn’t yank (or does he?), Tom Cruise’s impossible aging, Revenge of the Nerds drinking games gone wrong, Magnum-sized revelations, a drain expert who outranks brain surgeons, Florida Man classics (dead deer edition + parking-lot spectator sport), and the return of the most questionable profession introductions ever.Warning: zero filter, maximum nonsense. If you like crude callbacks, movie riffs, and stories that make you question humanity… hit play. Just don’t blame us when your coworkers overhear.