This Is Why You Keep Attracting the Wrong People
An episode of the Balanced Ambition podcast, hosted by Matt Southam, titled "This Is Why You Keep Attracting the Wrong People" was published on December 19, 2025 and runs 62 minutes.
December 19, 2025 ·62m · Balanced Ambition
Summary
What if everything that triggers you… is actually about you?In this deep and eye-opening conversation, Anita breaks down how the Enneagram can help us understand our true personality – not the one we've adapted to survive. We unpack how childhood shapes our identity, why we mould ourselves to be liked, and how to break free from patterns that no longer serve us.We explore how self-awareness through tools like the Enneagram, shadow work, and emotional intelligence can help us take true responsibility for our lives – and even change the world.This one goes beyond personal growth – it’s about human connection, leadership, and how the systems we build start with who we are.🔔 Subscribe for more podcasts on self-awareness, personal growth and emotional intelligence.⏱ Timestamps00:00 – No one taught us how to be ourselves01:30 – What is the Enneagram & why it’s different03:40 – Childhood experiences shape personality07:00 – Why we mould ourselves to be liked10:00 – The true intention behind our behaviours14:50 – Do we choose our personality or are we born with it?17:00 – How types pair in relationships21:45 – The "Helper" type and toxic dynamics24:30 – Awareness gives you choice – but it’s scary33:00 – Shadow work: why your triggers are about you39:40 – What your job says about your Enneagram type47:00 – DJing, attention & identity: a realisation54:30 – Environment vs internal experience58:10 – The pressure to perform – and how it shifted
Episode Description
What if everything that triggers you… is actually about you?In this deep and eye-opening conversation, Anita breaks down how the Enneagram can help us understand our true personality – not the one we've adapted to survive. We unpack how childhood shapes our identity, why we mould ourselves to be liked, and how to break free from patterns that no longer serve us.We explore how self-awareness through tools like the Enneagram, shadow work, and emotional intelligence can help us take true responsibility for our lives – and even change the world.This one goes beyond personal growth – it’s about human connection, leadership, and how the systems we build start with who we are.🔔 Subscribe for more podcasts on self-awareness, personal growth and emotional intelligence.⏱ Timestamps00:00 – No one taught us how to be ourselves01:30 – What is the Enneagram & why it’s different03:40 – Childhood experiences shape personality07:00 – Why we mould ourselves to be liked10:00 – The true intention behind our behaviours14:50 – Do we choose our personality or are we born with it?17:00 – How types pair in relationships21:45 – The "Helper" type and toxic dynamics24:30 – Awareness gives you choice – but it’s scary33:00 – Shadow work: why your triggers are about you39:40 – What your job says about your Enneagram type47:00 – DJing, attention & identity: a realisation54:30 – Environment vs internal experience58:10 – The pressure to perform – and how it shifted
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