This Most Blissful Rite

Cycle 12 Day 6. Saturday, April 11th. It’s 04:25 in the night.So, the late compression phase symptoms are ongoing and ever-changing.Tonight’s expected intense sensations have been confirmed.And as I now sit here awake, there is a constant—what I can best describe as—a psychedelic rumbling inside of my stomach lining.It is like a continuous dialogue inside my body, trying to find harmony in the midst of chaos.A Familiar Yet Altered StateThe closest comparison I can make, apart from having experienced this situation before with the compounded effects of aggressive systemic treatment, fasting, HBOT etc, is a memory from many years ago when I went to Portugal.I won’t go into full detail out of respect for others involved, but what happened was that already on the airplane from Stockholm, I had willfully—but not fully informed—ingested quite a large portion of an edible THC substance.The trip began already at boarding.And it persisted for close to two days.I was very heavily affected by this ingested dosage. It roamed around in my gut area and created a sensation of rumbling, rolling, undulating twists and turns.My whole perception—my self-perception—felt like it was rolling inward, being involuted, inverted, twisted.My mental state was deeply intertwined with what was happening in my gut.It persisted for two days before dissipating.I was bedridden during that time. I didn’t want to leave the flat because anything beyond curling up in bed with my eyes closed was too much stimulation. Stimulation that my body could handle. This current state is somewhat adjacent to that, but not the same.It is less intense, but more continuous.A continuous rumbling.The Body That Won’t Stay QuietThis makes it harder to sleep.It’s similar to how you might feel your heart beating—heart palpitations. These are internal signals that ideally we should not perceive in everyday life, because they are meant to function autonomously.If we were constantly aware of all internal sensations in our organs, we would most likely go insane. It would be extremely difficult to relate to the external world if we could not filter out the baseline signaling happening inside our bodies.From a cognitive neuroscience perspective, perception is always filtered.And if that filtering breaks down, the internal world becomes overwhelming.The Gut as an External WorldThere is another interesting way to think about the gut.In a sense, the gut is also on the outside.If you imagine the body not as a sealed vessel but as a kind of irregular pipe, with one opening at the mouth and the other at the groin, then that internal cavity is actually continuous with the external world.And this cavity—the gut—is one of the most densely inhabited ecosystems in the body.It is filled with organisms that do not share our DNA:* bacteria* fungi* archaea* protistsA vast and diverse ecosystem.It’s fascinating to think about all the interactions happening inside my gut right now.There is no way for me to fully understand it, but it sparks curiosity.It also highlights how clearly connected our mental processes are to what is happening in the gut.Because now, with my gut heavily disrupted and imbalanced, I cannot sleep properly.And if similar disturbances were present during the day while living an active life, how would that affect mental processes over time?Are there ways to modulate the gut and through that modulate the mind?The connection is undeniable.Signs of ProgressCompared to the last cycle, I currently don’t feel as much of an effect in my nervous system.So it seems my nervous system has maintained a higher level of stability through this acute treatment phase.That stability was not present during the last two treatments.So this is a very promising sign going into the late compression phase and early recovery phase.Approaching the RiteAnd now I am in that twilight zone.Tomorrow is one of the biggest milestones of each cycle:Breaking the fast.Blissfully breaking my six-day, 144-hour water fast.It might be the biggest milestone of each treatment cycle.It has become a ceremony.Almost a religious ritual.And it is such a bliss to have instituted a ritual that feels so powerful.It is not purely psychological or symbolic.It is deeply intertwined with the physical recovery of my body.My body has protected itself.It has gone into a kind of hibernation.It has been battered by aggressive treatments and additional stressors like HBOT.And then comes this moment.A corporeal ritual.A physical rite of return.From being:* convoluted* involuted* covered* hidden…to slowly pulling back the curtain.Letting the sun in....Let the sunshine in, The sunshine in…The Refeeding ProtocolAs has been the case for the last few cycles, I will stick to a protocol that has worked very well.It begins the night before.Jonna prepares a whole chicken over several hours, turning it into a rich broth.The next day, I reheat it.And then:The first step is a single spoon of freshly heated chicken stock.It is a bliss.True bliss.Then I let my body ease into refeeding.After some time, I add chicken meat, collagen, connective tissue.This is the second stage.Then I prepare small rolled balls of organic minced beef—ideally grass-fed—and add them to the broth.So the first refeeding day is mostly liquid, but with protein and fats.No carbohydrates.On day two, I might introduce small amounts of carbohydrates, typically through cooked vegetables in broth.In the last cycle, I managed to come across a most delicious pre-cooked ramen broth with vegetables, which I on day two served with chicken meat, as well as pork belly. I will repeat this successful and indescribably savoury choice in this cycle as well. By day three, I either continue with the same variety of food sources as on day two, or expand slightly.By day four or five, I increase variety further.By day six, I aim to return to a relatively complete diet—still ketogenic, still avoiding sugar and non-fibrous starches.Lessons from Earlier CyclesAnother reason this approach works better now is that I no longer overload myself with food before fasting.Earlier, during 14-day cycles, I panicked about losing weight and ate excessively before treatment.At one point, I ate so much that I was still passing stool throughout the entire fasting period.That defeats the purpose.The goal of water fasting is to reach full metabolic depletion.To let the system rest.To avoid having food sitting in the gut, fermenting, toxifying, forcing metabolic activity.Now, I enter fasting with a relatively empty system.This time, my last meal was small—an omelet and some greens.And since then, my gut has remained largely inactive.That is a good sign.Now it is slowly coming back to life.And with that, the rumbling returns.Naming the RiteSo that was a summary of my refeeding protocol.And with that, I wish all of you a blissful Saturday.If not quite as blissful as mine will be.Because I will soon be going through this most delectable, irreplaceable rite of passage.What I casually call “refeeding.”But it deserves a better name.If anyone has suggestions for what to call this holy rite in the cyclicity of my life, feel free to share.Because this is so much more than a plain “refeeding.”Wishing you the best Saturday you can possibly have.And remember, fam:Be most mindful of your life force.Namaste. 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