This Mother's Day I Will Embrace My Imperfection and My Inner Child

Here's how I rewrite the list my inner critic has been writing all night long, and turn inward with compassion. If today is triggering for you, I hear you, I see you, and you are not alone. The weight our culture gives to Mother’s Day is a symptom. An unequal burden is placed on the shoulders of individual parents: the implicit and explicit pressure for the day, much less the children’s lives to be perfect. We will crack under that pressure. Am I on the right path? Am I taking care of this body well enough? This mind? This home? Am I a good enough teacher? Partner? Citizen of the world? Yoga practitioner? Friend? I know am not the only parent cracking open. I wake up most mornings overflowing with doubts. But most of all, I doubt my mothering. Meditation teacher Tara Brach often shares the image of a solid gold Buddha covered over with layers of clay. After centuries, no one knew about the gold until the statue was moved, and accidentally dropped. The cracks revealed the hidden gold shining through. I look for the gold by peering into the cracks in my own wounded psyche. I’m parenting my inner child with compassion. I need to tap into that young, hurt part of me because that’s where I find the light of compassion. I could tell myself I’m not her anymore. I’ve grown up. That is true and not true. She is still here. She was broken, and she needs the grown up me to help her heal. As I reach toward her with tenderness, she teaches me about more than my own suffering. The wound is where the light enters, AND the motherhood myth is crushing, AND cultural inequity is responsible. I wake every morning and am confronted with my programming, which is telling me I have failed and I need to do more in order to be worthy. My self-compassion practice reminds me: Self-compassion and mindfulness have helped me become a more loving and authentic friend, partner, teacher, citizen, and parent. I know I am not the only parent cracking open, but when I wake up to the list my inner critic has been writing all night long, it feels lonely. I can hold the big feelings of others because I have held my own. It only feels heavy because it is pure gold. I think of other parents like me, and I’m comforted by Leonard Cohen’s line: “Forget your perfect offering. There’s a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.” -From ’Anthem’ by Leonard Cohen “Do less. You are enough. You are love.” 🌷❤️ I hope your Mother’s Day is healing. ❤️🌷