Thunder Thighs and Bedroom Eyes, Ep. 7 - Body Image, Desire, and Sexuality: Unraveling Society’s Sexy Script with Dr. Lauren Fogel Mersy

Episode 7 is a must-listen for anyone who has struggled with sexual desire and libido, either their own or their partner’s. Hosts Suzy and Krista are joined by Dr. Lauren Fogel Mersy (she/her), a licensed psychologist and an AASECT certified sex therapist. She owns her own private practice in Minnesota, and is the co-author of the book Desire: An Inclusive Guide to Navigating Libido Differences in Relationships. Dr. Fogel Mersy brings both her expertise as a leading voice on the complexity of desire as well lived experience as a person on the fat spectrum much of her life. She brings it all together in this episode with practical applications that can help lay the foundation for change now. If you aren’t already following Dr. Lauren Fogel Mersy, now is a great time! Instagram: @drlaurenfogelmersyTikTok: @drlaurenfogelmersyFacebook: www.facebook.com/drlaurenfogelmersy Other resources: Desire: An Inclusive Guide to Navigating Libido Differences in Relationships by Dr. Lauren Fogel Mersy and Dr. Jennifer Vencill - https://drlaurenfogel.com/book/ The Origins of Attachment Theory: John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth - https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1993-01038-001 Eli Coleman Institute for Sexual and Gender Health - https://med.umn.edu/sexualhealthZumanity by Cirque du Soleil - https://www.lasvegasdirect.com/zumanity-cirque-du-soleil/Maintenance Phase podcast with Aubrey Gordon and Michael HobbesSexual Desire Discrepancy as a Feature, not a Bug, of Long Term Relationships: Women’s Self-Reported Strategies for Modulating Sexual Desire - https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/jsm.12625Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski - https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Come-As-You-Are-Revised-and-Updated/Emily-Nagoski/9781982165314Dual Control Model of Sexual Response by Janssen and Bancroft - https://kinseyinstitute.org/research/dual-control-model.phpIronic Process Theory, Daniel Wegner - https://www.apa.org/monitor/2011/10/unwanted-thoughtsThe Body is Not An Apology: The Power of Radical Self-Love by Sonya Renee Taylor - https://thebodyisnotanapology.com/Curvy Girl Sex: 101 Body Positive Positions to Empower Your Sex Life by Elle Chase - https://www.ellechase.com/curvy-girl-sex Time Stamps[00:11:00] Desire differences cause relationship and individual distress.[00:14:05] Body change in relationships impacts sexual desire.[00:22:48] Expect and embrace differences in relationships. Avoid blaming lower libido partner. Challenges of adhering to sexual scripts.[00:31:11] Heteronormative bias: Shared load improves desire, connection.[00:36:50] Trial and error in quieting thoughts, acceptance.[00:42:20] Importance of intersectionality in understanding libido.[00:45:15] Different desires, validating lower libido, finding pleasure.[00:54:19] Love yourself, but also connect with others.[00:59:26] Attachment therapy trendy, not binary, nuanced. [01:04:57] Finding pleasure in small, present moments daily. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thunderthighspod.substack.com