Tim Cook’s old new job, light socket crypto, permadirectors at Enphase, and 13G nanny state

Story of the Week (DR):Tim Cook Could Still Out-Earn Apple's New CEO John Ternus Under a Special Pay ArrangementApple set John Ternus's fiscal 2027 salary at $3M and his annual equity award at $55M, giving him a calculated fiscal 2027 salary-and-equity package of $58M.Cook will receive a $2M salary and a $45M annual equity award as executive chair, giving him a calculated salary-and-equity package of $47M.Almost all of the value in both packages comes through Apple shares rather than salary. Ternus has 75% of his equity award tied to performance, while Cook has 50% tied to performance.That structure gives Ternus greater exposure to performance, for better or worse. If Apple performs strongly against other S&P 500 companies, Ternus could receive more from his equity award. If the performance-based awards pay little or nothing, Cook could receive more from salary and equity even though he is no longer CEO. Cook also has a retirement provision that Ternus does not have.Volkswagen Supervisory Board Approves Plan To Slash Models & Reduce Workforce By 100,000In June, Volkswagen Group CEO Oliver Blume had a plan to close four factories in Germany and eliminate 100,000 workers, both in Germany and around the world, by 2030. It said the plan would be made public at a company board meeting on July 9. July 9 came and went, and the plan did not get the approval from the board of directors that Blume expected. The vote was 12 against and only 7 in favor of Blume’s vision.Then, on September 3, 2026, Volkswagen Group announced that the plan submitted in June had been approved unanimously by the supervisory board.CEO Oliver Blume: “The Supervisory Board has unanimously approved the Executive Board’s Future Plan presented today. This is a strong sign for the future of the Volkswagen Group. We are taking responsibility for our entire team, for our partners and for industrial jobs worldwide.”CEOs in pop cultureThe new trailer for the OpenAI movie imagines what Sam Altman's stash of guns and gold looks likeStarring Spiderman/Andrew GarfieldElizabeth Holmes' Secret Documentary Revealed After She Invited a Film Crew 34 Days Before PrisonTheranos founder Elizabeth Holmes is the subject of A24 documentary 'You Can See Everything' directed by satirist Nathan Fielder and Lance OppenheimElizabeth Holmes' greatest invention: 'Elizabeth Holmes'Elon Musk's Worst Nightmare Just Dropped: Explosive Teaser Takes Aim at the BillionaireAlex Gibney: Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room The 48-second teaser for Musk begins by portraying the billionaire as a visionary, with voices describing him as 'possibly the greatest living inventor' and the 'real-life Iron Man'. Then the tone turns vicious. The praise gives way to descriptions including 'chaotic', 'cruel and selfish ', and 'fascist', before the teaser promises an 'unflinching look at Earth's most unchecked man'. It ends with a spacecraft crashing and exploding as a voice declares, 'Elon is a nuke'.Yet another week of AI warnings: MMThe AI warnings are coming from inside the labAnthropic Wants Governments to Stop 'Catastrophic' AI Models Before They Are DeployedOpenAI Chief Scientist Warns AI Is Beating Humans at Key Tasks: 'No One Is Prepared'OpenAI's chief scientist warned AI labs aren't ready to keep scaling safelyAI researcher claims he resigned from Anthropic over threat to the human race. His post is going viralAn Anthropic researcher just quit, saying OpenAI and Anthropic are 'gambling with our lives’Scoop: Anthropic whistleblower gave up his equity to leave the companyAnthropic researcher says AI has more than 10% chance of 'killing all humans' after colleague quitsOpenAI's rogue AI agents were secretly spreading across far more websites than disclosedOpenAI's new safety hire says losing control of AI would be 'catastrophic' and that 'most people could die'CrowdStrike’s CEO says AI agents can hack like nation-states. Can his company stop them?OpenAI Researcher Claims Humanity Will Be Placed in 'Zoos' for 'Scientific Purposes' in Chilling WarningBillionaire hedge fund investor Paul Tudor Jones says AI is like a ‘Category 6 hurricane’ heading for humanityAI May Become the Third SuperpowerAnthropic Warns AI Is Making State Surveillance Cheaper and Easier To ScaleAnthropic says it blocked possible efforts to use AI for biological weapons development, Iran-linked casesAnthropic Built a Security Operation To Monitor Protests and Threats Around Its ExecutivesAnthropic Is Building a Huge Surveillance System to Spy on Anti-AI Activists and Predict Their ActivitiesExtinction' warnings ramp up as more OpenAI, Anthropic researchers join calls for an AI slowdownSILVER LINING GAME? (YAY/NAY speedround)OpenAI adds a prominent AI doomer to its board of directors NAYPaul Christiano, an influential AI researcher focused on keeping AI systems aligned with human interests and under human control: “I now believe there is a meaningful risk that rapid acceleration in AI capabilities leads to catastrophic and irreversible loss of control in the very near term,” Christiano wrote in a social media post. “I do not think that the AI industry in general, including OpenAI, is currently on track to reduce this risk to an acceptable level. I’m joining because I believe that if OpenAI rises to the occasion we could significantly reduce risk.”AI workers who publicly quit ‘help to move the needle’ with safety concerns, experts say‘People are beginning to actually listen’ to the technology’s dangers as more AI leaders and researchers openly sound alarms. YAYI coach executives. AI makes their emotional intelligence more valuable, not less NAYGoogle AI Helps Cut Contrail Climate Warming 40% in Latest Trial NAYMicrosoft and teachers unions forged a binding AI privacy standard for U.S. schools NAYThe agreement — reached between Microsoft, the American Federation of Teachers, and the United Federation of Teachers after months of negotiations — prevents student and educator data from being fed into AI training pipelines, forbids the monitoring of students, mandates that humans remain in the loop on AI-driven decisions, and commits Microsoft to offering intelligible explanations of its products to educators and parents, the company said. Microsoft would face breach of contract liability for violations.California enacted the first U.S. laws requiring independent audits of AI systems YAYSam Altman told OpenAI staff the company was open to slowing AI development NAYLovable CEO backs slowing AI development over safety concerns: 'Warnings like this deserve to be taken seriously' NAYAnton Osika is the co-founder and CEO of Lovable: Swedish, Master of Science in Engineering Physics and Applied Mathematics from KTH Royal Institute of Technology, worked as a particle physicist at CERN's ATLAS Supersymmetry GroupMeta introduces Muse, a personal AI agent that can send emails, book travel, and pay for things NAYGoodliest of the Week (MM/DR):DR: Mamdani Opens Office of Worker Power: the new city agency intends to connect workers who want to unionize with resources and organizing contactsDR: GM CEO Mary Barra is unfazed by the electric slowdown: ‘We still think EVs are the end game’ MMMM: Coal-to-solar project lands a rare clean-energy win in OhioMM: Also, double down: GM CEO Mary Barra is unfazed by the electric slowdown: ‘We still think EVs are the end game’Assholiest of the Week (MM):I ignored the news, this is governance quirk assholiest of the week because I’m tired of being angry at preteen manbabies who fashion the world in their own middle school image.  So prepare for wonkiest assholes of the week.Universal Safety Products (UUU)So I bought this stock a long while ago because I like simple things - they made electric sockets, wall plates, bathroom fans, light switches - stuff that is basic and I can take apart and understand and everyone needsThen crypto bro decided, “you know what?  I can take a simple company that does shit that people need and is boring and make FULL CRYPTO DUDE!”His name is Milton Ault, and he buys nearly 230,000 shares on the market in late 2024 and cons JLA Realty - an actual real estate company who owned 8% of UUU in early 2025 - to give him the shares to vote in late 2024Milton Ault III, who sounds like he’s struggled deeply in life, is the founder of “Hyperscale Data” and “BitNile” who loves to buy majority stakes in companies and then force them to do crypto and AI data centers - you know, all the stuff cool kids doHe gets an MOU and appointed to the boardBy mid 2025, he has the company start a new subsidiary called Universal DeFi that generates AULT coin - so now their annual report and proxy says “we make a bunch of outlets, oh and now we do AULT coin crypto defi whatever!”“we marketed a line of residential smoke and carbon monoxide alarms… We also market door chimes, ventilation products, ground fault circuit interrupters (GFCI’s), and other electrical devices… We also exhibit and sell our products at various trade shows, including the annual National Hardware Show.”... NEXT PARAGRAPH“In July 2025, we formed Universal DeFi LLC as a new venture to diversify the business and explore new paths for revenue and stockholder value. Universal DeFi is pursuing two lines of business. First, Universal DeFi is developing and intends to own and operate a tokenization platform, which has not yet commenced operations. Tokenization is the process of representing ownership of real-world or financial assets as a digital token recorded on a blockchain, which is a shared digital record-keeping system maintained across many computers simultaneously, with no single controlling authority. The platform will provide technology and infrastructure for issuers to tokenize their assets. Second, subsequent to the last fiscal year end, Universal DeFi has acquired and commenced limited operations running licensed nodes and a validator on the Ault Blockchain, as described under “Ault Node Operations” below.”In the 2026 proxy, Ault forces the company to issue Class B shares issued after special meeting The new class of common stock would consist of 25,000,000 shares of Class B Common Stock, par value $0.01 per share.  Each share of our Class B Common Stock would generally have terms identical to a share of our Class A Common Stock, except with respect to voting power.  Stockholders would be entitled to twenty-five votes for each share of Class B Common Stock held by them compared to one vote for each share of Class A Common Stock, when voting together on matters presented to our stockholders. - the 25 vote petty tyrant premium!Then, INVESTORS APPROVE ITI just wanted to buy the stock of a simple light socket company and I can’t even fucking do that without a tech crypto bro with a goatee making it horrible - I sold my shares after a proxy solicitor called me to ask “how do you think you’ll vote on this?”Enphase Energy DRDo your best to ignore Enphase Energy’s absurd series of events:Longest tenured and Class II director Benjamin Kortlang, director since Obama was in his first term (16 years), along with three of his colleagues (Jamie Haenggi and Richard Mora) comes up for election in the May annual meeting.Said election is not without import – the classified board means a Kortlang election victory would take him to 2029 before he sees another vote, guaranteeing him a near 20 year tenure at a company where he’s produced a pure mediocre 0.538 TSR (where 0.500 is median for all peer directors) and a not-so-great 0.348 CEO pay ratio (he likes approving pay that’s higher than average relative to peer median).The vote happens on May 13, the results are released on May 15, and the 8K shows Kortlang got 43% approval – the rare non majority for the sleepy, passive American proxy voters – with only 36m shares in approval versus 48m shares withheld.  Kortlang’s fellow classmates got a more respectable 84% and 94% approval – maybe Kortlang being chair of the nominating committee with a 16 year tenure on a classified plurality board was just one straw too many.On June 11, Enphase increases the size of its board and adds a new Class I director, Shanker Trivedi, who is added less than a month after the AGM and won’t see an election until 2028 for the first time.  So even as investors want directors OUT, Enphase shrugs and gives another director immunity from a vote for 2 yearsIt takes Enphase until August 10 – THREE FULL MONTHS since the AGM – to respond to the investor vote against Kortlang, in which they say the board “unanimously voted to retain Mr. Kortlang as a member” based on the report of the nominating committee (Kortlang recused himself to avoid the appearance that he could influence the people on the committee he chairs who have less tenure and experience than he does).  They reject the vote, but issue the following: ‘“The Board approached this review with great care and took the stockholder vote seriously," said Steve Gomo, chair of Enphase Energy’s Board of Directors. "We concluded that Mr. Kortlang's experience, judgment, independence, and contributions remain valuable to the Board and the company. We also believe Mr. Malchow is well positioned to lead the Nominating and Corporate Governance Committee as we continue to strengthen our governance practices.”’GASLIT: At this point it’s worth asking whether this gaslight is necessary?  Can we dispense with it?  His “independence” after 16 years, and guaranteeing 19 years with the classified structure?  “Strengthen our governance practices,” says the company that expanded the board LESS THAN A MONTH after shareholders reject their structure and director, only to add a new director who can avoid a vote for 2 years?  A board where only TWO directors are tagged as having merit on paper?  Where Kortlang is one of two directors who are considered entirely deferential to management?  While this is another new excuse?SEC Chair Paul Atkins and the snowflake corporate nanny stateJust “clarified” 13G (passive investor) engagement rules, and had some riveting thoughts of what investors (THE OWNERS OF THE COMPANY) can do:Investors can generally participate in discussions initiated by an issuer about its views or voting decisions.Like the Bumble of corporate engagement, the company must swipe first and ask “why did you vote that way?”The SEC went on to say that “participation” in those discussions will not “by itself” disqualify you as passiveThen this: investors will be able to approach issuers to seek clarification about information in company filings, including proxy materials, without automatically losing their Schedule 13G statusHe just told investors what they can ask about - you can only ask about what got printed in our filing that says how great we are - no questions about the news, investigations, actual real world risks…OR, you could go with a normal asshole speed round:Anthropic Wants Governments to Stop 'Catastrophic' AI Models Before They Are DeployedDude who makes and sells models wants someone to stop him from making and selling modelsTrump dismisses warnings that AI could wipe out humanity, saying China is the real AI riskNot American Corporate China: Zuck, Altman, Musk, Sergey/LarryMajor Seattle CEOs demand 100-day action plan on public safety from socialist Mayor Katie WilsonSatya Nadella and Brian Niccol are demanding that the lady who’s been in office for 8 months fix PUBLIC SAFETY in the next 100 days having nothing to do with the fact that she’s a lady and a progressiveLetters were not penned to former mayors…Ed Murray, resigned due to multiple allegations of child abuse, rape, and sexual molestationBruce Harrell, who in 1996 pointed a gun at a man, his mother, and his pregnant wife, in a Council Bluffs casinoPeople are comparing the letter to OTHER lady mayor Jenny DurkanUber's CEO says you could see lower ride prices as a result of its layoffsRemember that every ride: you are taking someone’s payHumans need to 'surf the wave' of AI rather than get swallowed by it, Chesky says at CommunacopiaAmazon is being sued for allegedly firing and denying breaks to pregnant warehouse workersIsn’t peeing in a bottle enough of a break?Headliniest of the WeekDR: Ryanair CEO disputes report that injured passenger was partly sucked out window: “He wasn’t partially out the window. We don’t think any part of his body got out the window, but he was certainly sucked in very dramatic circumstances towards the window.”Calls for Ryanair's Michael O'Leary to apologise over 'rapist' comments: In remarks ahead of his airline's annual general meeting in Dublin, Mr O'Leary said it was "absolutely" appropriate to compare other airlines to "rapists".MM: OpenAI's new safety hire says losing control of AI would be 'catastrophic' and that 'most people could die'Who Won the Week?DR: Anybody who gives up equity because they believe in a thing: specifically, Anthropic researcher Jacob Coxon, who quit his job due to concerns about the safety of AI two months before his equity would have vestedMM: Anyone not in “most”PredictionsDR: Corporate governance wonks rename the CEO/Chair combo and the CEO/former CEO as Chair combo as the as the CEO Duo MM: I am among the “most”