Welcome to the Tweed Trends podcast. Hey, Evette, what's trending today? Hey, I mean that's pay girl and you are tuned in to Tweed Trends. It's the quickest way to find out what's trending today.
You know, today is a lot of things and they're really just not moving me. But tomorrow, whoa, tomorrow is Slap Your Annoying Co-Worker Day. So let's get started. I know I'm not the only person out there who has worked with some people that are a piece of work for lack of better ways to describe them.
And the fact that this whole Slap Your Annoying Co-Worker Day thing exists lets me know that I am not the only one. There's no way I could be the only one. And the only problem with this day is that you can't really go around just slapping people. But I envision this day as one of those days kind of like, you know, how you have a television sitcom or whatever or movie even.
And you have that person in the office, let's say like from the TV show, The Office. Let's say you have one of the characters go into a room and get some type of nonsense shenanigans going on and they're just fed up. And they're looking and you know, on the office, they look at the camera because they talk to the camera on the regular and they look and just imagine they have this whole dream sequence. Now they don't do that too much in the office.
I can't say I've ever seen an episode where there was a dream sequence. But there are some shows and even cartoons where there'll be a dream sequence. And the person that is acting a straight donkey, you can just go and slap them in the face one good time and get that off your chest. But then you know, you come back to the person and they kind of snap out of it and they're like, Oh, wow, that felt good.
You know, but they didn't really slap the person for real, for real. They slapped them in their head and sometimes you just have to use that imagery and just see the slap, you know, feel the slap. Enjoy that virtual slap kind of like what we've got going on with work in most cases, you know, because you're working virtually, you might have to virtually slap one of your coworkers. And you know, in some cases, I don't think they mean to do it.
I think sometimes they just can't help themselves. I know you're sitting there saying to yourself, like, what do you mean? They can't help themselves. Of course they can help themselves.
They don't have to smack that gum the way that they do. They don't have to always be gossiping, but you have to take a step back and think about where this person is coming from, where they've been, what they've been doing all this time. And I will bet you nine times out of 10, they smack gum because their mama's next gum or their daddy's next them. Somebody in the household's next gum and that's just how they chew it.
Somebody in the house is known to be a gossiper and that's just it just kind of trickles down. And so you can't be upset. As a matter of fact, let me give you an example. Back in the day, I taught sixth grade math and there was this girl.
She was clearly bigger and older than all of the other kids in the class, in the whole building, if you ask me, because this was. Yeah, she was a big girl, but this was sixth grade. And she had a nose ring and it wasn't one of the little like, you know, the little gold beads or anything or like a, you know, the stones, the like diamond or whatever. It was like, you know, how you have a name ring?
She had a nose ring that had her name written on it. And I thought it was her name, it was short. But I thought that was the craziest thing in the world. I'm like, oh my gosh, I don't care how old you are for real for real.
You're a sixth grader, you're a kid. What adult let you have one, not just a nose ring, but a nose ring with your name on it on your face, on your nose. Had a parent teacher conference and guess what? Mama had one too.
Well, there you have it folks. I figured it out. The apple does not fall far from the tree. So the same thing with all of these annoying little idiosyncrasies that people have, you know, you kind of have to step back and show that person some grace.
Because they nine times out of 10 cannot help themselves. Let me just say this for this particular day, I put some feelers out and I asked the question, hey, tell me about your story with that person in your office that you want to slap. And I had this vision that it was going to be people just tripping over themselves, trying to get to me to tell me who it is in their office in their job that they want to slap. That was wrong because nobody bit nobody.
But let me tell you this, a lot of people came back with the LLLs. They thought it was funny, but nobody was bold enough to come out and say it. And it's like, you know, you didn't have to say a name. You didn't have to disclose any of that kind of information.
Not asking you that. Just asking you just just tell me a story about that person. So I'm going to tell you a couple of stories from my own experience now, granted. I'll stay at home on right now.
So it's been a little minute and maybe that's why I feel free enough to say, you know, to tell you stories about people who I want to slap that work with in the past. But I'm not calling any names. So yeah, I should be fine. So let's see.
So back in the day, as a school teacher, there have been multiple principles that I've wanted to slap open back. No, backhand backhand slap one good one to the face, three of which I can think of off the top of my head right now. You're probably like, how many schools did you work at? Oh, yeah, because I am a math snob and I believe that everybody needs a math teacher.
So I'm going to come to your school and I'm going to bless you and your children there with all of my mathematical skills and knowledge and they're going to be great people for it. However, if you cross me, if you think you're going to try to put me down, make me cry. Yes, principal, they try to make their teachers cry. If you think you're going to do any of these things, just know that I have gone from loyal worker to I got my eye on you and this ain't done yet.
You know, and so in each of those situations, it turned into the calendar on the wall and marking the X is off. I'm not going to quit all my students. I'm not going to quit on the job in the middle of a year. But I'll guarantee you this that I will not say for another year of abuse if you think that that's what you're going to do to me.
So I would just move on for the first. I'd say maybe five years of my teaching career. I was at a different school. Was it was one of Carolina two in South Carolina four, first four, first four.
And yeah, that's just me. So those ones, the last school that I taught in South Carolina, maybe some of you can figure it out. There was a teacher across the hall from me. I wanted to slap him on the regular because he would always say these little he'd have these little side eye comments that he'd kind of throw out there and it'd be like a you people type thing.
It was a title on school, predominantly African American population and Hispanic and he was and so we might have a fight in the hallway or something. And he thought it was terrible that I would not jump in the middle of the fight to stop the kids from fighting. And it's like, first of all, they don't pay me enough to jump in the middle of a fight. But too, if you're seeing it with your two eyes, how come you're not jumping in the middle of the fight?
It's about to be a fight between me and you. If you keep on with this little back and forth that you got going on here with me because you don't know me. You don't much know me. See, and that's when I have to kind of step back because once the grammar starts getting chopped up, then you know you're in trouble.
But so those are just a couple of my favorites. The ones that just right off the top of people who I have long to slap and I've slapped them so many times in my mind that it's not even funny. All right. Well, that was today's episode of Tweech Trends.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much for hanging in there with me and putting up with my stories about wanting to slap people. And I know that you want to slap people too.
But just know if you are celebrating National Slap, your annoying coworker day today. Remember, it's a mental thing. You're slapping them in your mind. You are visualizing.
You're almost kind of meditating on how good it would feel to slap them. And then you walk away from it and you smile and you laugh in their face and you just keep it moving. Please do not assault anyone today because you thought that it was OK. You have no rights to do that today.
OK, I want you to come back. I need you to listen in some more. OK. So have a great weekend and I'll see you back here again on Tuesday.