To Us, You’re Already Bald episode artwork

EPISODE · Apr 14, 2025 · 1H 6M

To Us, You’re Already Bald

from If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes

It's time once again for LB, John and Niki to do their usual thang and solve all of the world's problems in just over an hour. This week, our heroes discuss batteries, different ways of making oats, the Burger King's relationship with Ronald McDonald, writing in cursive, why they not have ketchup in glass bottle anymore, hooking up your new chair, penis music, and as expected, somehow even more.Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigating the cruelty, chaos, and wonder of our terrifying world. Niki, John, LB— and our producer Jordo— try to find meaning and clarity one or twelve subjects at a time: from the menu at Cheesecake Factory to a human man dressed up as Snoopy tucking you into bed.Who are we?: We are Niki Grayson (https://twitter.com/godsewa) (the Buster Keaton of basketball), John Warren (https://twitter.com/FloppyAdult) (business boy and wassail pervert, short), LB Hunktears (https://twitter.com/hunktears) (handsome genius, 5'8", America's Gamer), and producer Jordan Mallory (https://bsky.app/profile/jordo.bsky.social) (frog with computer). Music by Jordan Mallory and Art by Max Schwartz (https://maxds.itch.io/).Follow the show: https://www.twitter.com/ifyouredriving Support us: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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To Us, You’re Already Bald

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