The year is 2021. The world is fucked. A specter of death looms over the games. But that won't stop the world's most successful Olympic nations descending on Tokyo.
The People's Republic of China. The Divided States of America. The country formerly known as Russia. But this show is not about those countries.
This show is about the little guys. The underdogs. The battlers looking to wrap their fists around the middle and become a national holiday. This is Medallica.
Colin Minnows vs. The World. Colin, Truck Ram to Tokyo. In front of me it's day 15 of Medallica, Colin Minnows vs.
The World. Colin, Truck Ram to Tokyo. My name is Rig, which means your name is... Gus.
Yes. Slightly afraid, even though we're not in the same room. Oh, but you can feel this burning eye contact through the screen. Have you had a knife?
Oh, what is that? I have a knife. Well, you brought a knife to a gunfight because he's almost the end of these games. And wow, we're just limping towards the finish line.
Yes, see, I think you and I are on different pages because the dark matter that I'm running on, finally kicked in. Oh, cool. I think you mean stout. You had a dozen of them.
So I'm still cut. So, yeah, we should probably kick off the top of this show by addressing some things that were said on yesterday's cast by me about the modern pentathlon being easiest piss. Okay. Right.
Well, I've done a little bit of research overnight as it's been brought to my attention that there's a possibility that 100 hours might be unders. Maybe, not because I couldn't become an Olympian in 100 hours, but because 100 hours is... 20 hours per sport. Yeah, it's fair.
Fair if you're snorting in there. Yeah. When you break it down like that, it doesn't seem like enough really. But also that is you still have to qualify through some traditional channels and it has come to my attention or our attention because I think we both read the same thing that we got sent that there are some full blown crapshoot elements of the modern pentathlon.
Yeah. None more so than the equestrian. Oh, my God. What a shambles that is.
Yeah. I mean, a question in its purest form was always going to be a bit of an uphill battle for me having not really ever ridden a horse. That's not a great base to start from. It isn't really you are the Eric the Eel of the question.
I hadn't seen an Olympic sized horse until you get to the games. However, I was really relying on the fact that I'd be able to create a rapport with the animal, tell him about myself and listen, be a good listener to the state of Bond, to the steed that I would then nobly ride towards the dumbest event in Olympic history. Yeah. But it turns out you can't do that in the modern pentathlon because you have a princely 20 minutes to get to know a foreign horse.
Yeah, which is bizarre. That is the equivalent of getting given the mystery box. Like, are you fucking kidding? How fucked is that?
And so it's the third event and you get 20 minutes to acclimatize yourself with a horse that you've never met before, which means that there's this element of the modern pentathlon that all of a sudden is a lot like the gold medal is the best horse whisperer. Yeah, totally. And it's the whole thing becomes elevated roulette. Oh, yeah.
Complete roulette. And we saw that in, well, we didn't see it because I refused to watch the sport, but we have had a report to us that that happened in this year's modern pentathlon when a German rider just could not have had a worst day on horseback. Like, I kind of get it. The reality is that they obviously looked at the sport and went, er, I hates this.
Let's spice it up. Any ideas from the floor? Druid card, nah, fuck it. Come on, Dose already got absolute lock on that.
Anybody else? Mystery horse. Mystery horse. I'm hearing mystery horse from the back?
Mystery horse. Mystery horse. Yeah, I think we'll go with mystery horse. Yeah.
Because mystery horse is fucked. Yeah, it's so bad. I felt so bad for this German competitor. I have not been in fourth.
I mean, she left the equestrian portion in 19th. Yeah. And then she finished at 31st out of 36. Like that.
I think after a horse breaks your spirit. Yeah. You just exit. And the fuck I'm part about it is that whenever this does happen in any sport, people are like, that's the cruel nature of sport.
I'm like, but does it have to be though? It's a fucking mystery horse. Yeah. Mystery horse.
Why can't you BYO horse? There's so many things that have come up overnight about why Pentathlon is not a great choice. Yeah. So many things.
The first of which was that it is prohibitively expensive. Yeah. So the 100 hours is not going to be the problem. The 250k is going to be a slight barrier.
I think the other thing as well is that so in the 1956 Olympics in Melbourne, not back yet, due to quarantine measures, they had to actually hold the equestrian, I think, in Helsinki. Yeah. So it was technically the 1956 Melbourne Games and the equestrian was in fucking Finland. Yeah.
It was a joint venture. But you would have thought that in 2021 of all years and with everything we know now about quarantine, everything should have been a breeze. But you go all the way back. And the whole thing is that there were two amazing sides to the Baron.
There was obviously the side that was all about equality and he recognised racism straight off the bat and was like, why guys are super fucked once? You realise that all of the black guys you're making fun of? They're going to heaps better in athletics than you. I also love how he's like the first guy to ever see it.
Yeah. And as I turn around, he's just like, is anyone else seeing this? Guys, it seems a bit weird. Why do they have their own toilets?
Like, we all have the same dicks here. So strange. Also, they look quick. God, they look fast.
Yeah. You guys wait. You know your first when you're sitting around having a creme de Monts in a few years, you say Pierre said this has happened. And then everyone's walking away from a conversation with the Baron in the late 19th century and doing the crazy thing next to their head just twirling their finger.
That's it. Wacko. What are you going to do tonight? Oh, you know, just have a quiet one, a couple of strict nine eggnobs.
So he was like, look, these are all of the, he's entire vision for the Olympics was that it would be the ultimate quest for world peace. He's Superman for you. So he's like, every event had this underlying ethics outcome attached to it. So that's cool and all.
But it's like talking to anyone who's hard. I'm talking to anyone who's hyper woke after after sort of 10 minutes you get. I understand what you're saying and I agree with the underlying thing. But somehow I feel like we are on different pages here, even though we both agree.
Stop laboring it. Yeah. Exactly. It's just like, I agree in theory.
But also that sounds kind of dumb. I think I mean, it sounds like a lot of work. I'm about to draw the line. Are you saying that all men should chop their dicks off and other women should work?
And the traffic light man should now be a woman for some reason. I don't care. It's just a line at which you go. Look, we all agree here.
But I think you need to maybe just sit a couple of plays out. Yes. So you focus your energy elsewhere. Yeah, that's it.
Play the truth, God. The Baron with the modern pentathlon, his whole vision was that it would be a way to take an event and make it the infantryman event. And then for soldiers. Yeah, you mentioned this on yesterday's cast.
But the whole point of it in the Baron's mind was that it meant that no one would go to war anymore because they would recognize that they were all soldiers together. Oh, so they're getting their fucking crack warfare fix by doing modern pentathlon. That's what he said. That would make heaps more sense than what he said, which is that people, the competitors in the countries would respect each other too much to go to war because they'd all done modern pentathlon.
And I'm like, look, mystery horse is fucking awesome. Don't get me wrong, Baron. Pierre, you crazy fuck. It is a great rule.
Terrible for the competitors. Amazing to watch. I will say though, as much as we're laughing about this, he wasn't wrong. I saw an image of the decafletes that came out yesterday and it's like all the same.
It's the same as five events, ten events who gives a shit. Anyway, do not sully the good name of the crazy pentathlon with the actually skilled decathlon. So there was a photo of them all together. They all got a group shot including the metal winners.
And some guy put a catch on like, you know what, it's pretty lonely out there as a decaflete, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, because you're a bunch of fucking nerds. Because you are all kind of above average at ten events. And yes, yes, before you all, Addis, we're aware that they're doing all those events heaps better than everybody else on the planet bar about 1%.
But the modern pentathlon again, it keeps going because it becomes one of those ones of the, I honestly hate this event so much, that they have buried it at the last end of the games because as discussed, it's day 15 and it feels like this has been going for a year. So by this point, the public is totally fatigued. We are fatigued. The horses are cooked.
They've been watching nothing but athletics. They are failing to engage. Zero comments. Zero likes.
I hate that. And so they've just buried it in a day like 13 to 15. But they've also condensed it. It's not even five events anymore.
It's four events because they combine the shooting and the running. So now you have to do four 800 meter runs carrying a laser gun. What? Yeah, it's not even a pentathlon anymore.
So you run and then you shoot while attacking? What you run, then you run to a station with targets and you shoot them. I like the biathlon at the Winter Olympics. So I'm like, how the fuck do you get into this sport?
And that's when I got a message from my brother-in-law who said, hey, I probably should have mentioned this earlier. Sorry. A guy I went to school with is an Australian modern pentathlete at the Olympics right now. I was like, that would have been very valuable information.
Thank you, mate. I'm gonna give you an Adam Sandler. Once again, things that could have been brought to my attention yesterday. Yeah, precisely that because it's now too late in the piece.
Slash my energy reserves are at the orange flashing light of the car fuel gauge. I cannot be asked to trade this guy down. No, nor would I at this point be game enough to ask him how mystery horse went. Because it seems like everybody had a fucking time with these horses.
Oh, totally. With that and the weird sumo ready to come and wrestle all the horses. Yeah, they were not loving that. But it brings up this point, which is I reckon at the equestrian, you should have the option between mystery horse or you do the entire jump circuit yourself, not on a horse.
Yeah, okay. You're gonna be slower. Same rules apply. If you knock them over, then you lose the points.
But if you reckon you can high jump 15 to meter high things, fucking go for it. This already exists. It's called steeple chase. It's that you reckon that the jumps at the equestrian cause the same height as the steeple chase hurdle.
You are high. What are you gonna do? They're designed like the steeple chase. What are you gonna do?
High jump the horse fence and then land in the water? Yeah. No. It's fucking rigged.
This is the war games. It's exactly that. If you want to run around carrying a step ladder and jump over the hurdle because you don't want to have to go into a full blown episode of horse whisperer, taking five years of your blood, sweat and tears on whether you can get a horse to not fuck you. Over the course of 1500 meters, horses being of course traditionally terrible with language.
What would you do? Well, look, okay, fine. Maybe we do go down that road. So where we're at now is takeaway mystery horse, replace entire equestrian section of the pentathlon with Tough Mudder.
Yeah. That's the actual army course. There you go. That will be a new sport coming up in one of these Olympics.
Do that. Crossfit or like Tough Mudder. It doesn't have to raise the question of should the modern pentathlon be amended to reflect the modern infantry. And by that, I mean, of course, as Australians, the current stories that we're taking from the military, those have been Robert Smith.
So doesn't mean that you all of a sudden replace all of the events with you need to dress up as a racially inflaming figure, drink 4000 beers, then drink sculler beer out of a prosthetic leg, sprints revamp in the desert and then bury a lunchbox filled with USBs filled with war crimes. Yeah. It's a two day event. Yeah.
That is cooked. It's horrible. But also, it's probably more accessible than the modern pentathlon. Yeah.
People can relate to it more because they're like, I don't own a horse, but I do own questionable USB drives to have things I need to bury in the backyard on USBs. Whether it's your actions or just porn that you collated at 13, it's been sitting in your parents' place in a drawer. It's just got all of your email addresses that you made when you were 12. Oh, sick dog 69.
It does not die. Is your MSN messenger logs and your Facebook memories? Just horrible shit. Oh my God.
Anyone listening to this that still has a Myspace? They're still up. Oh, God. Shit is active.
Myspace Tom has not deleted the server. He's just left. We're now going on a real big tangent, but I saw something the other day on TikTok or something where some chick showed a photo of Tom from Myspace and showed them to like current college kids and was like, who is this? And no one knows who he is.
Of course not. I'm ashamed that we knew who he was when he was Myspace Tom. Yeah. It was how many people in history do you think have been that desperate for friendship that they forced people to friend them on a social network?
It gets better though because in the comments of this video, some chick was like, WTF. I swiped on this guy on Tinder. So some guy is just putting up Myspace Tom picks as a catfish. That is for a certain demographic that is completely fine, but I think for anybody over the age of 30, they'd be like, all right, I've got two options here, either.
Either. That's a catfish likely or that's billionaire Myspace Tom. You can't not swipe right just in case. Tom's at home lonely just booting up Myspace.
Putting Java images in Blink 182. Constantly changing his top eight. Fuck. Okay.
Well, yeah, Mod Pentathlon might be might be shield in favor of my preference, which is fencing because that seems super dumb and really cheap. Yeah, or or and hear me out. I'm not doing break dancing for the last time. No, no, no.
The entire event is Mystery Horse. Fuck the other sports off. It's just Mystery Horse and it's the equestrian. This is what I'm saying.
I see you write this down. Delete dressage. Implement Mystery Horse. You know the people that the countries that are going to be rejoicing at this new IOC development.
The stands. They are going to light up for Mystery Horse. Men are staying a frothing. That's mostly from the desert cause.
Once they get treated for that, they will be excited. Oh, Mystery Horse is fucking nine to five. Like play Dolly Button. Wake up in the morning, stumble to the stable.
Pick a fucking horse who cares what its name is. That's it. But also, we spoke about Kyrgyzstan the other day and the Bazaar sport at sport and culture revolution red horse. All that talk to you.
Yeah, absolutely. But I had a look at some of the other horse based national sports of Kyrgyzstan. Because of course there's more than one. There's more.
This is this is all insane. Here's here's one called Qiz Qami description. A man chases a girl in order to win a kiss from her. Oh, God, that's fucking awful already.
And I hate how it's man and girl. That's the worst. Oh, gross. Do you want to kiss from her while she gallops away?
If he is not successful. Is he chasing a horse or a girl? He's chasing a girl on horseback. Oh, so she's on horse.
If he is not successful, she may in turn chase him and attempt to beat him with her horse whip. What the fuck? I'm not sure who wins. That is score fucking Qiz Qami.
That's so cool. Yeah, he's gone really close there. But now it's time for a good old fashioned whipping. Switch around.
She's played the reverse. Did you play the uno reverse? That's it. Or Udaresh, which is two contestants wrestle each other on horseback.
Of course. Of course. He's just tempting to be the first to throw each other from his horse. This is what we all do in the pool.
Sands horse. There's like a dude that on a horse that takes us so high. And can't you know this is on a mystery horse? Absolutely.
The horse has no idea what's going on, but it's like, this isn't any worse than the modern bent outline. Could you imagine some of the Kyrgyz Darnies at the Olympics being like, sorry coach, I'm not used to wrestling without being on a horse. I'm like a fish out of water or jimby up my large bar of precious metal. I assume gallium gallium is tied to a pole by a thread and contestants attempt to break the thread by shooting at it while at full gallop.
All of it sounds insane to begin with and then it always ends with ad horse. Even if you take the horses out of it, it sounds fucking ridiculous. We can make these. Here's one that will just hit fit on the fly.
So a group of men gather at a horse. A series of buried jewels that have been scattered across the city. They need to find them one by one and the fastest time wins on horse. An old man and a young boy are trapped in a small arena in the dark.
One must find each other on horse. A series of children must form a human pyramid the fastest. It must be at least nine layers high on horse. Man, wrestles another horse.
But yes, we cannot wait for mystery horse. In fact, we think the ice is should include mystery horse in every event. Yeah, absolutely. Well, we should probably look at the minnow metal.
It's only between 20 minutes. So I'm not going to explain it again. But I will. So here it is.
Minnow metals take all the countries that have won a gold medal strip them out of any respective event. The top three finishes who have never won a gold medal before will get gallium steel and brass respectively. Up at the top of this table, Malaysia. Oh, you're going to do this bit first?
What? Because you have a massive apology to give the people. We'll get to that. Okay, you've just really delayed.
I know. I know it's going to come. So Malaysia pulls clear. Now the two gallium clear heading into the last day of competition.
There actually is last day of competition when the closing ceremony is on. Yeah, yeah. So Malaysia has pulled clear. Time will tell if Turkmenistan will enter anyone to the marathon.
There we go. On horse. But the top three remain the same. Well, it actually doesn't because, and this is where we lead it to the apology because it goes.
Malaysia. Yes. Moldova. So we've got this Olympics and surprise third.
Cyprus. Why is it surprise rig? It's actually pronounced Cyprus. Not surprise, but you're horrible at pronouncing things.
Look, so here's what's happened is that when we're doing the medals this morning, rig has had this look, this dark matter look, which I thought at first was just the Guinness coursing through his veins. But it wasn't. It was a look of pure fear as you realize that Cyprus, a famed minnow who has never won a gold medal at the Olympics, has been completely overlooked for 15 days. Well, you win some, you lose some.
No today, you just lose some. They enter the medal tally. Their first mention of the games with a princely nine gallium turns out while we have just been doing this. They've been fucking slaying it.
Yeah. They won 11 medals rig. Yep, which is good for third on the minnow medal tally. And look, for any Cypriots out there who are always very quick to tell you if they're Turk or Greek Cypriot.
Oh, look, I don't know the difference and two, I don't care. Is that you are from a nation that is a celebrated minnow third place and here is an apology that I prepared earlier. And I'm really fucking sorry. Well, there you go, ladies and gentlemen, the sincerity of one rig.
Yeah, my hand was on heart the whole time, but that was playing. Yeah, it was on something. And just another shout out for Guatemala. They got a second sweep in as many days.
This time in the 20k walk, which fuck that is smart by them. It's so smart. They're now in the fourth. No, they shouldn't have.
Yeah, seriously. And the walk is a joke. But then there's a deadlock in the Battle of the Stans. It's going right down to the wire.
We love it. Kyrgystan, Turkmenistan, seven gallium, one steel each. Someone has to break the deadlock. That's it.
Someone has to tie this precious gallium to a thread to a pole and shoot at it. On horse. We'll solve this deadlock the old fashioned way. Mystery hole.
And we welcome our newest entrant and probably one of our, you know, bar the marathon. It will probably be the last new entrant that we'll have of these games, which is Mauritania. Yeah, fantastic. Gee, it is the longest of minnow's done.
Well, we'll cover this tomorrow in the rap for the games, but we are very proud. We're proud of the way that the minnow's are shown up and competed in for both the real Olympic battles and more importantly, for the minimettles, which are worth more. They absolutely are. You go to Kyrgystan and you offer anyone gallium, you will die because they will take it from you and have a horse drag your carcass through the town.
Or as we call it, Alok Vábish. They will immediately kick a headless go. They will kick your headless corrects. Yes, absolutely.
So we move on past minnow watch. You know what? We will stop in here. Play the sting.
Minnow watch. Now, look, I know all of our feature athletes are finished and basically all the minnow's have as well. But in an attempt to track down huge fab, the Burkina fasten bronze medal is in the triple jump. The first ever Olympic medal from the kind of far so.
I may have gone a little deeper into the internet last night. Was that the dark web? Oh yeah, I went to Silk Road. I bought a bazooka.
Oh, I went to his Facebook page and may have for a few beers have sent a series of messages to his family members asking if they would like to give an interview on his behalf. Oh my God. And one of them is responded, which is the best. And I assume it's all in French.
It's not. It's in English. What? It's from Alex Zango.
He responds to after I asked him if he would like to give us a comment about his brother's incredible achievement. I did say morning Alex. I'm Gus from Medellica Colomino's versus the world. Straight podcast covers countries never want to meddle.
I wonder if we could interview you about your brother and his incredible achievement. His responded and said, who is this? So you heard it here first. Oh, our exclusive interview with huge fab brother.
And we figure there's never a better time than to celebrate these sorts of moments with the absolute anthem of sibling love. I'm not there or a sister, but in the passion flares again. Yes, there we go. And that proves the most that many Pacquiao's song has ever been played on consecutive days, which is breaking records all over the place.
Well, I find that hard to believe considering it was number 19 in the US, or whatever you said the other day. Yeah, look, I mean, you didn't even know that Cyprus was a minnow until this morning. Don't call me out on bookkeeping. I feel like I'm going to hear this for the next decade.
Remember that time you forgot Cyprus? I mean, Cyprus will remind you they have long memories, historically the Med remembers. But we move on and that means that it is time for the people's favorite segment, Apokolimics now. Apokolimics now.
So obviously, it's our flagship segment where we have a look at all the bizarre goings on at these Apokolimics. Mate, what have you got for us? Okay, so as it has been firmly established, the Australian Olympic team are complete piss rats. And still one of my favorite words to come out of this cast is rat.
As the games draw to their conclusion, there's fewer and fewer people left in the Olympic village. But those that are not pulling punches, the Kookaburras, the Australian men's hockey team, lost the final to the Algernist shooter. And it was a one of those moments, I think, for them, where it's a very, very difficult result to cope with. In the famous lyrics of the Eagles, some drink to remember, some drink to forget.
Oh, yeah. So they are doing the latter. So after the match is over in the village, they're draining their sorrows, which, again, they won silver. Guys, it's going to be fine.
Yeah, you've got it all good. Exactly. And there's like, you've got three years, you'll be fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, you're about the hot minute that it's the Olympics again. Yeah, it's fine. But they have... You've got ice hockey in six months, and that now works.
Yeah, that's it. So they have pout through some beers and then gone, you know what? Fuck, that'd be it. It's the worst thing they can have to kick off, obviously.
Shit. So five blocks decide that it's time to go in search of piss. And they leave the Olympic village at 3am. They come back with two slabs.
Is that all? Now, that is my exact thought. They went looking for booze for an entire hockey team. How big is a hockey team?
What is that? Fifteen blocks? Let's just say it's 15 or 20 with others. Yeah, just shit.
So a group of the most physically gifted people on the planet could only carry 48 beers. This is the most unestrated thing I've ever read. I know. So as predicted at 6am, they decide, oh shit, front out of beers.
Got to go and get more. Return empty handed to find that they have been unceremoniously busted. And have Japanese officials in the arm chairs. And again, turning on the line.
With the pull down lamp. The very sinus to busting. So that means that then all of a sudden this is reported to none other than the chef. Oh yeah.
The enchantment. Okay. Chesty bons. Okay.
Papa Ian who does what he has done throughout the entire games when something like this has happened. And he does not discipline them at all. And instead he comes out with this quote. It's a book his oldest time.
A good young person makes a mistake. Chapter two is a good young person is full of remorse. Chapter three is a good young person learns from the mistake. Now what I think he's talking about is that he sat those blocks down and said, now, here's the thing.
The next time any of you little snobknows fucks go out to get slabs. You come back with a fucking wheelbarrow. Papa Ian used to walk five miles in the snow to get to school to get to the bottle shop at school. Yeah.
And then he'd come back with as many slabs as he could carry because you never know when the Japanese are going to say get on a plane. Absolutely because the follow up of the inside of these parables. The thing is it would never have happened if they brought back six slabs the first time. Completely.
Then they wouldn't have been busted. Or look, they could have just knocked on Stolly Susie's door and she would have fanged him out some of her own personal minibar that she clearly bought with her. My heart goes boom. You can have this vodka if you give me a couple of extra ticks on the Spotify.
That's it. Strict 10 streams a bit. All I want you to do is mute your phone and just repeat play on my heart goes boom. That's it.
But yes, they cook about as a facing no disciplinary action at all because Papa Ian is the people's party man. It's classic by Papa Ian. His whole like what? Taylor's oldest time.
Bloody speech. So look who he sounds like everything that a dad of a privileged private school white guy on trial for something would say. Oh yeah. 100% Taylor's oldest time trying to bring a good guy down.
It's all right. Well, here's the go. So this is your seventh DUI and your mother and I just think it might be time for you to start walking home from the same. We only live 200 metres up the road.
Oh, fuck off dad. Look at you. Not your dick. Look.
I mean fair enough. It's fucking bullshit is what it is. They're going to rub out the fucking souls on my boaters. Oh, you're such a cocklock.
Sorry Archie. Bullshit. Look at the tail's oldest time Archie. Oh, fuck here we go.
Yeah, look chapter one. Oh, dad. No, Archie. Just hear me out.
Chapter one. He's a young boy with expensive life as who goes to the sailing club. They're not even that expensive. Chapter two is a young man who has grown for a boy into a man in the walk back from the sailing club to home.
What's the fuck are you even talking about you all far? And then chapter three is a grizzled old man still in expensive by shoes who's been walking through the steps as grown old. Oh my god. How the fuck am I supposed to have bees at the club anymore?
No, son, you're right. Let's talk about it. Oh, fuck. Asai's only.
I don't want that fucking VB you drink. Well, suddenly becomes improv works. Yeah, I think that might have triggered a bunch of people. If you don't know someone that is like that, it's you.
That's it. Put just a mirror and just cut down their size. Oh, but I love that. That is fantastic, which means we head on over to the mailbag where we have one piece of content from patron Florida Mike.
Ah, yes. Treats for everybody. Treats love those tree biscuits. So we actually gave Mike a bit of a shout out the other week because he's American and did not know what a meat raffle was.
It's a fair question. It does sound gross. It does sound gross, which is why we gave it a mail strip club, a mail review. Yeah.
If you like the name the meat raffle and made our very first ad for our new business was more an introspective. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know. But I guess the big thing is that Mike just couldn't wrap his head around the fact that we give raw meat to people. He's not alone. He's brought up a good point and it's something that I've never really thought about.
In the same way that you don't as a noble Kyogastani go, oh, well, it's pretty weird that we just gallop towards a pole and shoot fucking bullets at a string. No, in Australia, you don't look a gift snag in the mouth. You don't. And so he just couldn't wrap his head around it and was like Americans could never do that because we can't be trusted.
He sends me a link yesterday that is from CNN that reads as follows. CDC warns people to not eat raw cake batter after a multi-state E. coli outbreak followed up with a message saying, again, no meat raffles are allowed in the states. Now you can see why it's so good.
Imagine having to warn people to not eat cake batter. That is an absolute indictment of the US. See, I think that there are definitely portions of Australia where that needs to be spelt out. Like the meat raffle at the Maryborough Local Bowls Club.
For example, in Queensland, they do have to put a little PSA out there because Pete was like, oh, look, fish is normally my go. But I'll give one of these steaks a red hot roll and just in the car park, they looked at him and it looked like fucking World War Z as he tore into a raw minute steak bent over the fucking bonnet of his 1997 Corolla. Oh, I love that. But thanks for sending that in Florida, Mike, which means that's pretty much it for us today.
If you want to get in touch, we are in the midst of changing up our award-winning asterisk website, guacenrig.biz to point towards Beijing, which is six months away and it cannot come soon enough. So I just can't wait to do this all again. It's the Winter Olympics, obviously, has been described as the arch nemesis of Mido's. Yeah, it is a difficult game.
Thomas Bach describes it as dull. Which is bizarre when one of the events is flying headfirst with your brain bucket down an ice slide at 200 Ks an hour. I'm now imagining Bach in his fucking $2,000 suit just becoming the oldest ice bullet in the world. Fucking loves that on a Saturday.
Everybody else goes for a quick kick in the park. Thomas Bach goes to eat ice. Love that. I would pay to watch that.
He's an ice fiend. I've said it once. Ice in his veins. Fucking ice out of classic Bach.
Love that. And so if you want to get behind us and you want to support us and everything that we do in terms of bringing you content, we do have a patreon. It is patreon.com slash Gus and Rig. We have a number of tears and a lot of sort of little goodies and stuff that we have in there as well.
You'll have approximately a year and a bit of content now that has been up there for a while. Should take you about the six months it is between now and Beijing to tear through that absolute vault of content. Yeah, absolutely. And if you want to get in touch with us for any of the mailbag stuff for this podcast, we only have a couple days left as you know.
But send all your DMs via Instagram, which is at Gus and Rig, G-S-A-N-D-R-G or via Facebook message, which is Madalika. Fantastic guys. What's all we got time for? Absolutely.
Well, I've got to chase the oldest unmarried woman in my village while chugging a three-litre jar of mayonnaise. On a horse! And mate the day is young. I have so many DMs to send to huge fabs grandparents.
Cheers.